Scally/Chav Lads

[Sniffademskidz]

-Hey Cole never forget what your coach taught you!

Follow your "instincts" by all means but more importantly follow "what stinks!"

When you're faced with the unwashed arseholes of your teammates you can kill two birds with one stone by satisfying your lustful cravings and striking a blow for the rights and freedom.of all those young footballers who have had the courage to come out!

If you're straight you can sympathise with them and if you're gay you can empathise with them but don't stand on the touchline!

Just remember the acronym FIST!

Finger
Inhale
Sniff
Taste!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Sweet little Cameron Humphreys was only just legal when this photo was taken ( left of photo in blue!)

Sweet little Hump.......I'll hump and pump and then dump in his rump!

You may wish to wear a condom but personally I can't imagine anything better than being cock deep in his shit , with his ankles resting on my shoulders as I snog he face off him!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Gladiators are famed for wielding their swords in the arena and I'm sure that nobody would raise any.objection to being on the receiving end of nine inches of their cold steel!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

In order to boost sales manufacturers of "flat pack" furniture are offering "six packs" with every purchase!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Just as well I made an appointment to see the doc before my boyfriend gets home at 5pm cos if he asked me to stick my tongue out at 530 it would look as if I'd just been eating Nutella straight from the jar!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-So while my son is in Paris you are the exchange student who is taking his place at the school here and lodging with us!?

-Yes Monsieur Jones, that is correct!

-When you meet your hosts first thing in the morning how do you greet them?

I say "Good morning Monsieur et Madame Jones.How are you?"

-Very good Pascal but if my wife is not here then the correct form of greeting is:

-Pull my pants down Daddy and bareback me 69 on the kitchen table!

-So shall we just practise what I have taught you!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Sorry mate I've got to take a dump and I've got no fucking toilet paper!

-No sweat man! Why do you think God gave me a tongue!?

After all we are always being encouraged to go "paperless" in every area of our lives these days!

Save a tree in twenty twenty-three!

Lick a whore in twenty twenty-four!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

This is the epitome of reciprocity!

-You give me the sweetest smelling ear defenders I could wish for and you rub your feet on my face when you've got an itch!

It gives new meaning to the expression "Scratch and sniff!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-You managed to wangle the day off school then!?
Yeop! I got Mum to call in sick for me before she went to work!

How did you get on at the Job Centre!?

Same old shit! Some uppity bitch behind the counter told me "I should explore new roles!"

Well you know my hearing's not that good and I thought she said "explore new holes" which is precisely what I'm going to do now!

I. Gonna fuck every drop of shit out of your tight little boy cunt and then I can write it up in my Universal Credit journal!

That'll be a day well spent........and keep those dirty smelly socks on while I'm fucking you!

Now get up those fucking stairs!

So glad you're my stepdaddy!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Mum's kicked me out Uncle Jack and I've got nowhere to go!

-Never mind mate I told you there'd always be a bed for you here!

-Yes but you've only got one bed and it's a single one!

-So let's do a deal ....I'll let you inside my bed if you let me inside your pussy!

What's life if you can't help out a family member and boy do I want your fucking member!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

So they sent you round from the Job Cebtre today then!?

Yeah!

What's yer name?

Ryan

How old are you!?

21

Where are you from?

Clacton

You got any mates?

Nit of a loner me but I sometimes go for a drink with my mate Hayden!

Don't mean those sort of mates! I mean have you got any Mates condoms....its a fucking brand name.

Why do.you wanna know?

Cos the other two are in the van having their sarnies, the owners are away and I know that shed is open and there's a mattress in there!

I'm getting a good whiff of your feet and once I've had me nose up yer arse.....the rest is history!

All right then!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-I'm just so stressed and busy Doc that I find I'm having to write everything down

-That's quite normal Nr.Munroe! I have to do the same!

-Yes but I'm writing absolutely everything down like" Renember to have lunch" but worse than that thecreally embarrassing stuff like:

"Sniff the intern's arse when he's doing the filing!"

"Swipe Paul's sweaty pants and socks while he's in the shower after squash!"

Well if it makes you feel any better it's now 3pm and this is what I've got on MY list:

310 pm- sniff Munroe's feet

320-pm sniff his hole

330 shag him senseless on my couch

4pm- pick up the dry cleaning

415pm- go to Waitrose and pick up some prawns for the salad!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Love yer socks mate!

-Thanks! You can tell I'm a Norwich supporter! Better than a high viz jacket! Lol!

-Pity you haven't got some pants to match!

-Oh I have and I'm really attached to them in more ways than one . I had the same pair on for five days in a row and my girlfriend threatened to leave me unless I changed them!

They were fucking disgusting by the time I stepped out of them after a week's work and didn't even pick them up thinking they would walk to the laundry basket on their own......in fact they're probably halfway to Carrow Road already!

-Up the Canaries!

- (I wouldn't mind plucking this canary and any word thar rhymes with it!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Thanks for offering to help me with my homework!

-That's OK but I'm not sure why I need to be sitting on your bed to do it!

Well this is the problem:

-A guy and his boyfriend decide to make love! It takes the top fifteen minutes to ejaculate!.How long does it take his hot jizz to travel up his boyfriend's sphincter and flood his guts!?

-Oh My God!What sort of a teacher sets homework like that!?

-A dirty old pervert but let's not worry about him!

-Get your stopwatch out and open your legs!

You're a nerdy looking bastard but I've had an eye on your tight fucking buns all term!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

This guy can hardly be labelled a chav or a scally so.maybe this post should be entitled

POETRY IN CALVIN'S!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Well you're a supporter of the Foxes Football Club so if I had to pick a cheese it would be Red Leicester although technically it should be Blue Leicester!

--Yeah mate but wait till I've had 'em on for a few daysnd they'll smell more like Gorgonzola!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-I thought we were playing "Scissors cut paper!?"

-Yeah but as we are in the toilet I thought we might play "Noses sniff shitty fingers!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-With the advance of technology you could expect that by now we would have entered the era of SMELLYVISION so that during a footy match a fit fucker bends over, you stick your nose to the screen and inhale the smell from his pucker hole.

-It might cum one day might but one thing's for certain I'm gonna fucking cum cos you look so fucking taste in them grey pants!

Just put the remote down and let my todger do the walking!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Following on from the previous post the Japanese have in fact cum up with a stopwatch designed to freeze any activities, numerous examples of which are to be found on the gaymale.com site!

Hirny pizza delivery boys being stripped and fucked with no notion of what is happening to the them.

Construction workers and office boys being mercilessly shafted while being frozen so to speak!

Well worth a look if you are not familiar with it!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I've just looked at the heating bill for the quarter July August September 2023 and it's astronomical! Twice as much as the bill over the winter!?

How do.you account for that!?

-We ll do you remember that hunky Intern who was here over the summer months!? Well we tried every way to get to see him in his underwear-invited him to the gym and even got him drunk but to no avail.

The only solution was to turn the heating up so high that he was forced to work from 9 to 5 in just his socks and undies for the summer months!

I FROM an economic point of view I would say it was a good investment!