Scally/Chav Lads

[Sniffademskidz]

Ive never lain with Aron Bain cos he looks like a pain and rather too vain!

....but I could never feign the joy I'd gain from a long deep sniff of his dark brown stain and a nice big swallow of his golden rain!

Need to jack off before me boner starts to wane!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

There's just something about those feet of yours that drive me wild!

Not sure why cos they look more like camel's feet and that's no disrespect to the camel or your good self!

After all camels milk is a great aphrodisiac and is reputed to put plenty of lead in your pencil!

Not that you need it judging by what your packing in those blue briefs!

I bet girls get pregnant just walking past you!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I'm starting a poll to see who can be crowned Mr.Pure Filth 2024!

I'm putting this geezer forward cos he looks as thick as shit and I bet he'd fuck anything with a pulse!

He'd probably rent his own arse out for the price of a Big Mac, large fries and a coke!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Im Keen to find a partner and I was told that if I ncluded a video of myself I was more likely to get a bitch.

I was excluded from every school in my town and I have just been declared unemployable but some geezer at the Job Centre told me that if I.joined a dating site and flashed me todger i might land myself a rich old widow who could refer me to her friends!

One night with me and she'll be in her coffin by morning but not before she's changed her will in my favour!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Nice Sergio Tacchini tracksuit mate! Did you know that the word " tacchini" is the Italian word for" turkeys?"

-No mate didn't do languages at school! In fact I didn't do nuffink at school!

-Well you certainly slept through the English class!

'How about the anatomy of the turkey!? Do you know what the parson's nose is!?

Nah!

Then bend over and allow me to show you!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Holly Wood and so wood I!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Elliot Tittensor.....his tits would be fucking sore when I've finished with them!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I've heard of "barking up the wrong tree"but this must be what is meant by "parking up the right tree!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Hardly a chav but I didn't know where to put sexy BBC weatherman Chris Fawkes apart from in my bed of course!

One wonders whether he is related to the chap that tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament back in 1605 in which case it might be appropriate to amend that famous ditty to:

"Remember my member the fifth of November
Talcum powder, season my bot!"

There's a ridge of high pressure moving towards your warm front Chris so be prepared for a heavy white precipitation!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I've heard of people sticking industrial-sized brown paper bags over the heads of an ugly punter but this might just be a step too far unless they want to engage in pillow talk during the ritual!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Bang goes my New Year's resolution to stop eating meat!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"You're as thick as shit Matthews and a total pain in the arse but at least you are proving useful to the class by modelling an equilateral triangle!

Remember boys that the key thing about an equilateral triangle is that all sides are equal and by extension in the human world all men are created equal although Matthews is demonstrating that some men are created more equal than others!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Does your shit chute dispense hot chocolate!?

-Only the finest quality mate! Does your todger dispense squirty cream!?

-Only the hottest!

-Do you wanna marry me?

-Too fucking right!

That''d be a marriage made in hell!

Well they say everything's hot down there you little devil!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Scoutmaster when you say DYB DYB DYB to us what dies that mean!?

-Well boys it's an acronym which stands for

Do
Your
Best!

.....and you come back with "We'll DOB DOB DOB!"

We'll Do Our Best!

However when you've got all your merit badges and you graduate to the rank of Chief Scouts the acronym means something different!

You call out to your Scoutmaster "DOB DOB DOB "which stands for "Drain Our Balls!"

....and we respond with:

DYB DYB DYB

"Do You Bareback!!!!!!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Good morning boys! If you are looking for your trousers I'm afraid that Matron popped in while youwere asleep and sent them down to the laundry!

Anyway you won't need them because the day is entirely devoted to preparation for your assessed Biology practical next week!

Please follow these instructions once you get into the classroom!

Choose a partner!

Your task.is to determine how long it takes for senen to travel from the testicles up to the purple head and into the sphincter your partner!

You should explain the methods of stimulation you employ to bring your partner to orgasm and illustrate this using photos from your cellphone!

The results of your reserach should be clearly and legibly written up and submitted to me before lights out tonight!

Extra marks will be given to any boy who submits a sample of semen with his findings!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Thank you for your recent application for the position of window cleaner for the local council.

When we asked for a recent photo we didn't want one of your face but one of your arse!

As we have submitted our candidature for Britain's number one town we have to ensure that everything is perfect and that includes plenty of eye candy for the judges!

Two tight buns rubbing together inside a pair of grey trackie bottoms at the top of a ladder will do much to improve our chances of success!

If you could drop your pants, pull your arse cheeks apart and get a nice shot of your love tunnel you can send it straight on to us and we can get the ball rolling or should I say "the balls rolling!"

Many thanks!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-This place is fucking shit!

Can't get a decent sausage, beans and chips anywhere and nobody speaks English!

We shoukd have gone back to Benidorm!

-If it's sausage yer after looks as if you'll have to make do with my banger back in the hotel room!

I've got Plenty of mayonnaise and there'll be plenty of tomato ketchup after I've been up and down your shitter a few times!

We might have to.orde in the beans and chips from Room service though!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Hey chaps it would be really great if somebody else contributed to this thread. I didn't start it but I seem to be providing all the content for it!

It would be great for me to sit back and enjoy the contributions of others for a change!

What do you think!?

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"The only way is up baby for you and me now!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Fabio Silva 21 year old Portuguese footballer who plays for Wolverhampton Wanderers!

And it's hi ho silver lining

And away you go now baby!

It's for your cock I'm pining

You really need a truss!

But that's obvious!