Scally/Chav Lads

[Sniffademskidz]

Compare the market?

I think I'd rather compare the target!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Two men went to the temope-a pharisee and a tax collector!

The pharisee stood up and said "thank you Lord that I am not sinful like this tax collector!"

The tax collector, on the other hand, beat his breast and cried out " have mercy upon me Lord for I am.just a miserable sinner!"

It was the tax collector who went away justified by God!

The moral of the story:

"We are all sinners and cannot buy our way into Geaven with good deeds so just learn to love yourself and let God do the transforming!"

Here endeth the lesson!

Well it is Sunday after all!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

What's in a name!?

28 year old JOSH BROWNHILL who plays for Burnley!

Imagine licking all the brown from between his hills!!!!!

Just look at him!

For anyone that smokes pipe tobacco you'll know what I mean when I talk about a ROUGH SHAG!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

'I'm totally wrecked mate! I i know I won't even be able to walk back to my room!

Thanks for letting me stay in your room!

-Sorry I've only got one pillow!

I don't know- there's a nice pair of pillows here in a brown pillowcase and they seem to be scented too!

Just like the Ritz Hotel!

( and you can eat Ritz biscuits so I won't be short of a snack if I wake up during the night!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I've had a real skinful mate so really appreciate you keeping me upright!

Could you do me a favour mate and phone my girlfriend so she can come and pick me up!?

The number's in my back trouser pocket!

-Oh I don't think we need bother her!

I can take you wherever you want to go......hopefully Heaven!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

THE EMBODIMENT OF THE FILTHY SCALLY CHAV LAD!!!!!

The archetypal chav lad is totally unemployable!
He is a drain on both society and the people with whom he is in closest proximity!

He sucks the life out of all who have any dealings with him abd yet the rest of us nurture the hope that we can one day drop to our knees, ease down his trackie bottoms abd take his filthy member in our mouths!

We are well aware that his personal hygiene is lamentable and that he has never pulled back his foreskin on his sporadic visits to the shower so we will be treated to a substantial quantity of dicj cheese as we suck on his erect lollipop!



When he's had his daily six pound dump, no paper paper or water attends that malodorous shit chute! He simply pulls up his tighty whitie Calvins and lets them act as blotting paper as they hug those tight chavvy buns!

Once they have required the desired level of crusting he takes them off and flings them at his long suffering girlfriend with the tender words:

"Now take a scrubbing brush to them you bitch!"

Why does she stay with him!

The only answer I can give to that rhetorical question is that he knows how to make her moan when he's inside her!

There's nothing seedless about this chavvy bastard- she's got one sprog on the tit, one in the cradle and one fermenting inside her!

You'd happily snog the face off him even though he's had every tooth knocked out of him from fights on the estate where he lives!

Despite this foul description of this putrid individual if the opportunity presented itself you wouldn't hesitate to get him on his back on the council rubbish tip, pull down his trackie bottoms and get his smelly feet resting on your shoulders and send as much cream up his chocolate dispenser as you woukd need to create the tastiest tiramisu!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

22 year old Albanian star of Love Island Haris Namani may be deemed to be the antithesis of the guy in my previous post but hold onto this thought:

How many people do you know who make an enormous effort to look good on the outside in order to compensate for a deficit on the inside!

Gaining the approval of one's peers and fellow man seems to have become an all-consuming activity in today's world!

As for myself I am content on the inside and I am happy to look like a sack of shit on the outside!

Having said all that I would certainly dine in splendour if Haris were served to me on a plate!

The milk from his tits, the cream from his bollicks, the orange juice from his cock, the cheese from his feet and the chocolate from his love tunnel!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-How did it go with the new personal trainer today!?

-Really well! He's a lot older than me but very experienced and was keen to get me doing some new exercises once the others had left the gym!

He showed me some new facesitting exercises today!

He lays down on the bench and I have to lower my arse onto his face but can't go back up again until his nose has engaged with my pucker hole otherwise it can't be counted!

We tried doing it in just my Calvin's but it was difficult to hear the sound of the nose engaging with my pucker through the material so we tried with just my bare arse but the hairs from my hole were tickling his nose and making him sneeze so I'm going to get Teacey to shave my crack when I get home!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

19 year old Argentinian footballer FACU BUONANOTTE!

For those of you who are not linguists "Buona notte " means "Good night" so it sounds very much like:

"FUCK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!"

You couldn't make it up if you tried!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Don't stop stripping mate! You're on a roll!

Well I certainly wouldn't mind seeing your fluffy white baps between two fluffy white baps!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Look mate if I go into a pub and order a pint of beer J don't expect the barman to pour out half a glass and present it to me so get that other trainer off and let me enjoy the whole "woofy sox"experience!

I'll deal with your arse when there are fewer people around!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I'm sure the lure of Charles Leclerc's smelly arse crack would be enough to bring gofers, moles or any other burrowing animal to the surface!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I've never been a great one for jockstraps, preferring to run my nose along the seat of a pair of skidded tighty whities and inhale all the funk and musk that such an experience affords!

However I think I could make an exception in this case 'cos once this hunk of spunk lifts his beautiful glutes from that wooden bench and heads towards the showers I will fall to my knees and fill my nostrils with the life-giving scent which has emanated from his sphincter and permeated the woodwork!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"OK Phil thanks for the shirt but same arrangement as last week ! Just leave your match-worn socks and panties in a plastic bag under the windscreen wipers of my car!

Remember it's all in a good cause- auctioning them for UNICEF!

There are a lot of pervy and very rich old men out there who will pay a great deal of money to get their hands on your unwashed pants and socks!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"As far as I'm concerned the sun shines out of your arse Sam Thompson and I'd happily retrieve that golden globe from between your cheeks making ME the GOLDEN RETRIEVER!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"He's just told me I'm his soul mate but if I don't check his birth certificate he may be my jail bait!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I am afraid you must defer to me in this matter my dear Sir with my superior knowledge of exotic fruits!

Those are peaches Sir! They are far too furry to be nectarines!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-I was born and brought up in Esher in the county of Surrey! My grandfather who is a former colonel of the 11th Hussars regiment gave me a lecture about how to court a young lady on one of these dating apps!

-Cut the crap and show us yer cock mate!

-I assume you don't hail from my neck of the woods!?

-Dagenham in Essex mate!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-It's not the end of the world mate!

You know what they say:

"Plenty more fish in the sea!"

.-....but she was my princess!

-Well what I can remember of her mate she was built like a brick shithouse....Princess of Whales more like!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Would love to run my fingers through your hair!

-Really!? I thought the hairdresser had made a right mess of it!

--Not the hair on your head you twat!

The hair between the cheeks of your arse!