Scared and Embarassed.

[CaliBoy601]

Hey all! Well I have been lurking on the JUB Forums for quite a while, just seeing if anyone might have the same problem as I...but unfortunately I haven't seen ANYTHING like my problem So here is my first post! I wasn't sure where to put it, but this is the forum I visit most often.

I am 19 years old, in my second year in College, and am out to all of my friends, and then two distant cousins (They live in Florida and I live in California) That is all though. I am not out to any immediate family or others. But that is just a little background on me.

Here is where my problem starts. I am a hopeless romantic, always have been. I am always searching for that one guy that could be everything to me, and vice versa. I feel like I have a pretty nice personality ( a little on the shy side) but I am really friendly and I am pretty open to doing anything platonic. There have been times when I am partying here and there are guys that I get to know, and of course, when we are both drunk, "getting to know each other" usually happens via Mouth to Mouth haha. The guy usually tells me that they want to go further. This is where my problem comes in.

Like a lot of guys out there, I think I have a small dick. Contrary to most of the guys who complain about this...I actually do. It is about 3.5-4 inches when erect (it is also cut). It goes against everything people joke about. I am 6' 2" AND I have big feet.. (You know what that means??? Nothing apparently.) And that has pretty much FORCED me to become a bottom, although I think I prefer being a bottom anyways. But I am not sure if my opinion would be different if I had the dick to be a top.

It is also not just that...I for some reason beyond my comprehension, have only one testicle. WTF Right??? I have always only had one...and I want to blame this all on my premature birth...two months premature....I'm not sure though.

I really don't know how I can boost my confidence up out of this one. But basically, all I have done is kiss other guys, as I am too afraid to go any further than that. I would be happy to just give my boyfriend (assuming I am able to get one with my lack of self confidence) a blowjob and then wear a jockstrap when he fucked me...that way I wouldn't have to expose my burden...Am I just screwed when it comes to finding the one man I need?

I have never told ANYONE about my dick...but I assume my parents know, haha.

Any thoughts? Comments? World Shopping ideas?

Any help is appreciated!!

 

[andy12]

It is also not just that...I for some reason beyond my comprehension, have only one testicle. WTF Right??? I have always only had one...and I want to blame this all on my premature birth...two months premature....I'm not sure though.

If no one has talked to you about this, you might want to see a doctor:

http://kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_newborn/common/crypto.html

Yeah, you really need to talk to a doctor about this. It'll prevent more problems later on.

 

[hanshansen]

I think things like 'small dick' and 'one testicle' sound really bad/ridiculous in the context of strangers or people you don't like (Hitler), but they are much less of a turn-off when you like and are into someone.

If I thought a lot of other things about you were great, I would cut you a lot of slack about a single part of your anatomy, even that one.

I have had massive performance anxiety, inexperience anxiety, body shape anxiety, and I have met people who were not turned away by any of those things.

Lots of guys have less-than-pornstar-size or oddly shaped penises, but they are not lonely...I know three (straight) guys, one has a misshapen nose, one has part of a finger missing, one has part of his big toe missing. They are players, they get good-looking girls all the time ...

I don't think you have that much to worry about. Just don't make too much of an issue of it when you're actually with someone.

 

[CaliBoy601]

If no one has talked to you about this, you might want to see a doctor:

Yeah, you really need to talk to a doctor about this. It'll prevent more problems later on.

Well, that certainly was a mood killer if my original post wasn't. But I know what you mean.

"In some boys with a "non-palpable" testicle, however, the testicle may not be present because it was lost while the baby was inside the womb."

That is my case. just one was lost. I have my functioning one. I cum just fine

 

[WYSIWYG]

1. Dick size is over rated.
2. My husband complains because his dick bends down and he has low esteem because he thinks he is 'deformed'. (For me, I love his dick, it is so different from all the others I have tried and been with.)
3. I was born more premature than you, (6.5 month)!
4. Who 'forced' you to be a bottom? You can be whatever you want to be!!!

There are other men out there with one testicle for the same reasons due to birth or some accident!

Your still very young and have your WHOLE life in front of you. You can not now at the age of 19 thinking your not suitable for anyone or you won't find your man. Romance is not built on someone's dick size or if you have more than 1 testicle! (Did you ever ask your doctor why you only have one??) Just because you were premature isn't necessarily the answer.

No one has a perfect body or a perfect mind. Don't give up the search for your romantic man. He is out there I promise you. He will love you for WHO you are, not what your physical attributes are or aren't!

 

[KaraBulut]

Of these issues, the undescended testicle is the easiest to resolve. There are testicle implants that can be placed and no one will be able to tell. You can see a urologist or plastic surgeon for a consult. If you are still covered on your parent's insurance, this would be a good time to get that taken care of.

As for your penis size, it is on the small size but not that much smaller than the average. While most guys seem to think that the average is between 6-7", the actual average range when measured in controlled studies is between 5-6".

But your self-image and insecurities are going to be the biggest challenge. There's not a quick surgical solution that can give you self-confidence or a good body image.

 

[Blacksheep]

Go to the doctor about your testicle. I was briefly dating a guy who had XXY syndrome and was 31. He wasn't diagnosed until I met him. He had no testicles and a penis about the same size as yours (as well as a lack of body hair). He came just fine too. So it could be more than just being a 'missing' testicle. He was put on testosterone and his dick actually grew but this has to do with the fact that his puberty stopped as he no longer was producing testosterone. But things like this do happen so if I had missing boy parts I'd get it checked just to make sure there isn't more to it. I'm in no way suggesting that there is necessarily anything physiologically wrong with you, it's just that if I was missing a testicle I would personally get checked to make sure there was nothing more to it.

If it is nothing it makes no difference. I never minded the fact that he had no balls. Nor did the size of his dick stop him from topping me. In a lot of ways I really liked it because I could easily deep throat him.

I personally have a bend like a banana in my penis and have a dorsal slit circumcision (was done when I was about 9, it got infected which led to the bend) So since then I haven't seen in person anyone who has a dick that looks like mine. It makes getting naked uncomfortable as hardly anyone has seen dorsal slits before so people in public change rooms have actually asked me about it before. The bend also makes me feel really self conscious. Trust me though it's only as embarrassing as you make it. Nobody I have had sex with has ever made me feel uncomfortable about it, if they did I wouldn't be sleeping with them. Just try not to worry about it (easier said than done) for the people who would date you, what you are describing really isn't an issue or a deal breaker.

 

[bullwing413]

Caliboy, you need to find out why you only have 1 testicle. See a urologist soon. In most cases of cryptorchidism, the other testicle is somewhere in the inguinal tract or there is a small remnant of one that may be undiscernable as a testis to palpation. The problem with cryptorchidism is that it is associsted with a higher risk of testicular cancer and the standard is to remove the testicular remnant if it can't be brought down into the scrotum. Also, even though you may ejaculate fine, you still don't know about your fertility until you get a sperm count. Ejaculate has nothing to do with fertile sperm....and your penis size is just fine. You're very attractive and will have no trouble finding many guys (and girls if you want) to love you in life. Stop worrying about that -the largest sex organ is your personality!!!

 

[kramer362]

I'd suggest looking into the testicle implant, and seriously I dunno if I'd be a bottom or a top due to no experience, but if I bottomed I would absolutely be relieved to see a penis on the smaller side, haha. And anyone with little experience bottoming would probably be relieved too. Who knows maybe you could talk guys who never considered bottoming into trying it ;-)

And dude, you're really fucking handsome. I bet guys are jealous of your looks- there are trade-offs in life, try not to let your perceived shortcomings get you down (wish I could take my own advice, but we're our own biggest critics). Very few people have EVERYTHING going for them, and well they're just the lucky .05% that everyone is probably jealous of in one way for another.

 

[sixthson]

The beauty of true love is that it is unconditional. When someone loves you that way, you will feel no need to hide anything from him...his love will let you be who you are.

You are a sweet guy. The danger is not that you won't find a guy to love you, but that when he comes along, you will not let him, because you are too fearful and self conscious.

Work on your self acceptance so that when the right guy comes along, you'll be his equal, not his bottom.

 

[PlayingwithChance]

Welcome to JUB!

First off, the testicle thing... you DO know you can get a testicular implant right? It's like a boobjob, except, well, a nutjob! I saw it on Sex and the City, so it MUST be real.

Anyways, besides that, you'll find a lot of guys don't really care about the small dick thing. Honestly, I'd be rather happy with someone 6'2" with a small dick, rather than someone who's 5'5" with a 12-inch beast.

You're great looking, work on your other features that are within your control! Musculature, personality, intelligence - these all count! In the end, you want to be in a relationship with someone who cares about the WHOLE package, and not just THE package

 

[heymikey]

I know where you are coming from. I have a small penis as well (5 inches). Plus, it bends downwards as well. By the way, someone mentioned testosterone for penile enlargement, does it work? I think puberty stopped too early for myself.

 

[Blacksheep]

I know where you are coming from. I have a small penis as well (5 inches). Plus, it bends downwards as well. By the way, someone mentioned testosterone for penile enlargement, does it work? I think puberty stopped too early for myself.

Not normally. It's because XXY people don't produce testosterone or stop producing it when they are barely pubescent. In fact I've never read about an increase in their penis size due to testosterone either but it did make a noticeable difference (he's now nearly the same size as me and I'm just over 5.5 so he grew about an inch I'm 6 foot 5 though so it looks quite small, plus all the other issues I mentioned). I can't see what else could have caused the growth (he's skinny, skinny so it isn't like he lost fat around it or anything. Plus it always felt hard-hard so I don't think it was that either.

CaliBoy you really are a good looking lad. If I got you home nothing about you would upset me. I'd just be over the moon I got you!

 

[Blueboy369]

Everyone has insecurities. While you are thinking about yours, the guy your talking to is thinking about his. You deserve pleasure no matter the shape or size of any body part. I read once that the hottest sex is when both partners are trying to "Get Off". So when you're having sexy times, throw caution to the wind and have a fucking blast. You are young and alive! Enjoy!

 

[grubvilleguy]

It may not mean much coming from an old guy in the midwest, but....

You have nothing to worry about in the looks dept. Seriously, you're gorgeous and I could spend hours kissing those lips! Face it...you're a catch!

It's just my opinion, but anyone that would be put off by your cock size, probably isn't the right person for you anyway.

Your smile, your sense of humor, your kindness, your mind (I could go on and on) are what's important.

Don't betoo quick to jump into anything....love will come when you least expect it.

Or you could just get in the car and drive to the midwest!

(Just kidding)

 

[CaliBoy601]

Aww. Thanks for all of the feedback guys! The compliments were totally not necessary but I really appreciated them! Haha.

Also, superboy, thanks for welcoming me to JUB

I am pretty much getting over my smaller dick size and I think I will focus on making the changes I can actually do. A friend of mine and I are gonna swim laps tomorrow, and I will probably lift some weights at the gym either prior to the swim or after. I can't change my dick size (or can I?) but I can lose some of the fat I've got, and perhaps tone some muscles.

I think that would really help me accept myself and make me happier to be myself too! I heard that exercise usually triggers something in a person's head that generally makes them a happier person too?? Endorphins? I have no clue haha.

I really enjoy Tennis too! But can't seem to find anyone to play with that is at my level of playing...Any JUBers in California that want to play?? Hehe.

 

[seven_sins]

Caliboy,

You can't change the size of your dick, but you can boost your confidence by having a testicle implant. They even do this for neutered dogs, so it is not a big deal. If you are 6'2" and weigh 175 pounds (as your profile says), you don't need to lose "some of the fat." I say go for the weight training. It will do wonders for your self confidence. Find a buddy to join you and train 3 times a week until you put on about 10 pounds of muscle.

 

[CaliBoy601]

Like Blueboy said, everyone has their insecurities. They're probably thinking of theirs too. Don't allow yourself to get too consumed by appearances. In the end, it's who you are that counts. And from what I can tell, you have a great personality, you seem humble, and you're cute. No worries buddy. Nada.

Yeah, you and Blueboy make a VERY good point! I never even thought of that!! I guess I was just a little too obsessed with my own insecurities to think of how the other guy might feel. Which is something that ends now, now that I have come to that realization haha. And also, thank you for the compliments Totally not needed, but completely appreciated!

Does it really just take time?? I have been here in college for a year and a half, yet no guys have shown any interest in me...no girls either I mean, don't get me wrong, I am gay, but I am pretty masculine (versus flamboyant/feminine). Is there something I am doing wrong?? Do you guys have any advice??

 

[CaliBoy601]

Caliboy,

You can't change the size of your dick, but you can boost your confidence by having a testicle implant. They even do this for neutered dogs, so it is not a big deal. If you are 6'2" and weigh 175 pounds (as your profile says), you don't need to lose "some of the fat." I say go for the weight training. It will do wonders for your self confidence. Find a buddy to join you and train 3 times a week until you put on about 10 pounds of muscle.

I have been looking into going to the gym here on campus for quite a while. It's free for the students and it is a really nice gym! It overlooks the ocean and everything! But the problem is, I have no clue where to start and no buddies to go with...I may act pretty masculine but...majority of my friends are indeed girls None of them like going to the gym. I did however go swimming with a friend of mine today. She loves swimming, but that is indeed, not weight training.

Do you know what I should start with Seven_sins?? Any pointers on a routine I should follow or something?

 

[Blacksheep]

Does it really just take time?? I have been here in college for a year and a half, yet no guys have shown any interest in me...no girls either I mean, don't get me wrong, I am gay, but I am pretty masculine (versus flamboyant/feminine). Is there something I am doing wrong?? Do you guys have any advice??

I have similar issues with people not realising I'm gay. Women like me though which makes it worse because it makes me really awkward and then I come off like a prick.

Telling friends you are gay can work wonders, once word is out then people will know and can stop fantasising about you and actually approach you .

It's hard if you are good looking though, I know that I don't look at really good looking masculine guys lest they are straight or I don't measure up looks wise.