The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Scared to get out there

W

warrenuk

Joined
Aug 16, 2010
Posts
8
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Hi all. Wondered if any of you had advice for me.
Im not out to my family yet but I've been desperate for years to explore my feelings towards guys. Last year I took the first step and met a guy online. He started off real nice and told me we could break contact whenever I wanted to stop. We messed about a bit but I became very umcomfortable and told him I didn't want to speak anymore.
This is when he started to constantly harras me with texts and calling my phone and hanging up. It really Fucked with my head and I avoided all online dating sites for nearly a year out of fear. I had bit of a break down.
Now I'm ready to take that step again and I've met a nice guy but it has just made the old fears and anxity rear up again and it's stopping me from even telling this new guy anythng about incase he turns it my new stalker. I know it may sound irational but I can't help it

Please help
 
im sorry you had your first experience with such a douche, but hes really just that: some douche. youre coming across as a little insecure and fragile. are you out to anyone? some close friends, maybe a sibling? do you have any contact to gay guys outside of online dating? i understand youre horny but it sounds like you need to become a more emotionally healthy person before you start messing around with strangers.
 
^ I agree.

If you are so fearful and uncomfortable with yourself and your sexuality, it can only lead to problems in any relationship you might have.

Work on your own fears and self image first and then you'll find that you are more likely to have a successful and enjoyable relationship with other guys.

To be absolutely blunt. Are you actually bi-sexual? Like have you actually had a relationship with a woman?

Or are you using the bi-sex label to protect yourself from the possibility that you are a homo?
 
Don't start anything with a guy and then just cut him off completely if you don't want a stalker. You need to be careful to remember that other people have emotions too, while you're out there "experimenting"
 
Thanks for the advice everyone. Im under no illusions about my sexuality, i know im attracted to guys but at the same time i enjoy sex with women and having a girlfriend. But for me i cant seeing being with a women for the rest of my life will be enough. Im probably more over on the gay side of the fence and i know that.
I understand trying to cut the other guy off can be tough but it wasnt like i suddenly stopped talking. I explained that i wasnt rdy to proceeed any further and wanted to stop like he always said i could if i needed to. Its at that point he blew up at me and scared me so much.
90% of my issues come from not wanting to hurt my family, particuarly my dad ,with me seeing guys. Exploring this side of me in total secrecy is such a strain for me and i was terrified they would find out. Like you all say, i guess with time things will get better.

Thanks again
 
You need to come out at some point. You'll feel much better. Hurting yourself is no better than hurting your family.

If you can work on coming out, then you'll have a clearer head about other things.
 
90% of my issues come from not wanting to hurt my family, particuarly my dad ,with me seeing guys.
Click to expand...

Well Bud.

Get this sorted out and you might just one day be happy.
 
warrenuk said:
90% of my issues come from not wanting to hurt my family, particuarly my dad ,with me seeing guys. Exploring this side of me in total secrecy is such a strain for me and i was terrified they would find out. Like you all say, i guess with time things will get better.
Click to expand...

Not if you don't do anything, they won't.

Come out of the closet. What's stopping you? Your family's happiness? What about your happiness? Why is theirs more valuable than yours? Think about that.
 
Here's the thing.

Well adjusted gay men don't usually take closet guys seriously.

Why? Because it's unfair to expect someone to take a backseat to your closet issues.

If you're hiding, that's going to attract a certain type of guy. Dating is not only about what kind of guy you want, but also about what kind of guy you're attracting.

How you present yourself is just as important as what you're looking for.

You aren't going to have a successful relationship while you have issues about yourself and insecurities about your sexuality, and the kind of guys who look for issues and insecurities are not the guys you want in the long run.

Work on yourself, make yourself a good prospect, and you'll minimize the amount of users and losers you have to deal with.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top