Sending a letter

[california87]

Has anyone ever sent a guy they like an anonymous letter before? I am planning to try it this week... I'm going to tell him I like him, and ask that if he's interested to meet at a certain place.. or to wear a certain shirt the next day and I'll reveal myself...(I'm not out)

Anyone had experience with this?

 

[HunterM]

Anonymous letter is just silly (very junior high). How old are you?

 

[dhchitown1984]

california: I thnk the biggest hurdle that I had before coming out when it came it meeting guys was that I wasn't out!

It's sort of like the catch 22 for today's new college grads... you can't get a job if you have no experience, but you can't get experience if you can't get a job.

You're not out but you want to express interest in guys, but you can't find any cool gay guy friends because you're not out.

Unfortunately, you may not like my advice... and my advice is to put yourself out there. Once you're out to someone, you can go and hang out in gay-friendly places and meet friendly gay guys. Is this guy you like out?

If he is, talk to him! He'd be a great person to come out to, and if you're uncomfortable about it because you think he'll tell the neighborhood, just let him know that it's new for you and you're not out yet, and you want this information kept in confidence. The one thing you'll find is that people who are out are typically very respectful of people who aren't, because we've ALL been there before. Granted, I'm not a big fan of dating guys who aren't out, but I have no problem befriending them, helping them along.

It will be very difficult to meet gay guys who are confident and approachable if you're not up front and honest with them. Good luck, and let us know what happens!

 

[medic1]

Anonymous letter is just silly (very junior high). How old are you?

^^^^^^^^
Sorry buddy but have to agree i thought that sort of thing ended around about
the same time that you stopped pulling the pigtails of the girl sitting in front of
you at school .
On a serious note we have all been where you are now and one of the other
posters made a very good point , do you know that the guy is gay himself ?
He also gave some really good advice .
What i do know is that if i received a letter like that i would think if the person
does not have the balls to approach me themselfs instead of sending notes
sorry dude but it would go straight in the bin.
I hope that you can find another way to see if he does like you , good luck.

 

[Georgiadude]

this topic comes up from time to time around here. I think it's a terrible idea. it's childish and immature. I understand your not out and it's hard having the feelings of wanting a relationship or to be intimate with someone and not being able to do it. however if I were him and got a letter out of the blue from someone professing feelings for me I'd be creeped out. I most certainly wouldn't meet up. if the person isn't mature enough to contact me in an adult manner I'd want nothing to do with them. Let's say you send the letter and he agrees to meeting. how do you know he's not going to be a gay basher or out you and bully you?

yes. coming out would make finding someone a lot easier but only you know when the time is right for you. we dont know you or your situation. I will say I wish I had done it a lot earlier in my life than I did.

forget about the anonymous letter. it's a bad idea. find a way to talk to him and get to know him. you will have a lot better chance of something happening or you may just make a good friend.

Steven.

 

[Seasoned]

I'd consider it stalking.

 

[The_Reaper]

I think the idea of sending an anonymous letter in and of itself isn't a bad idea...It's a way for you to express your feelings without actually opening yourself up to the potential problems that could arise from telling him face to face...

However, I'm worried about the aspect of including a 'do you want to meet me' clause in the letter. I don't know your friend, or how he'd react, but some guys don't take too kindly to another guy admitting they 'like' them like them...

If I were in your shoes, I'd send the letter anonymously without the 'do you want to me' part. Let it be known in the letter that you're a guy, and that you're interested in him, but don't say it's you. If you can talk to him, assuming you're friends, let him tell you about this letter he received and you'll be able to gauge his reaction to it, without revealing that it was you who sent it.

That way you get to know whether he's gay or not, or interested in the letter's content, without exposing yourself to the potential awkwardness that comes from revealing your identity.