S
Soilwork
Guest
My last relationship lasted for 13 years. The one I'm in now for two. My good friend has been with his BF for 30 years.
My sister divorced after 3 years.
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Serious Question. Serious Answers.
- Thread starter rossignols
- Start date
My last relationship lasted for 13 years. The one I'm in now for two. My good friend has been with his BF for 30 years.
My sister divorced after 3 years.
spreadeagle
JUB Addict
You're living in a fool's paradise if you think that heterosexuals are automaticaly immune to the issues of self-acceptance, bullying, intolerance or finding love and happiness that homosexuals agonise over.
S
Soilwork
Guest
This might be a flame.
I'm not sure.
but pathetic people love to whine and complain and act like they can't do anything to fix their problems. They love to pretend that actually getting off their asses and confronting thier issues isn't possible because it requires less effort to whine.
"I'd be happier if I was better looking"
"My problem is that I'm fat."
"People wouldn't be mean to be if I was taller."
"I can't find a boyfriend because I'm not attractive."
"I'll never find a partner because I'm gay."
"People don't want to be my friend because all gay people are shallow queens."
It's all window dressing. The most pathetic and sad people I know are straight. They've found something else out of their control to blame, but the end result is the same..
Hopless people who refuse to make better lives for themselves because it's easier to complain that their lives aren't better.
I'm not sure.
but pathetic people love to whine and complain and act like they can't do anything to fix their problems. They love to pretend that actually getting off their asses and confronting thier issues isn't possible because it requires less effort to whine.
"I'd be happier if I was better looking"
"My problem is that I'm fat."
"People wouldn't be mean to be if I was taller."
"I can't find a boyfriend because I'm not attractive."
"I'll never find a partner because I'm gay."
"People don't want to be my friend because all gay people are shallow queens."
It's all window dressing. The most pathetic and sad people I know are straight. They've found something else out of their control to blame, but the end result is the same..
Hopless people who refuse to make better lives for themselves because it's easier to complain that their lives aren't better.
^ Don't hold back Soilwork ..... tell it like it is.
I couldn't have said it better myself!
Ugh, a very big word UP!
S
Soilwork
Guest
I don't think *I* could have said it better.
Sorry if I ruffle some feathers(although not THAT sorry), but honestly... too many people refuse to help themselves because it takes too much effort.
It's easier to blame your unhappiness on being gay.. or short.. or over weight.. or unattractive.. or being shy.. or...
It DOES take some effort to learn to love yourself and make yourself make the changes that you need to make.
but if a short, funny-looking, pock-marked, gay, bitter asshole such as myself can learn to accept himself warts and all, the rest of you can too.
I think what you mean is that perhaps some guys choose to be gay because they think it's easier to be accepted as gay and having problems than straight and having problems...sort of like how society perceives men wit emotional problems as 'weak' while it's accepted for women to have them. is that what you were trying to say?
Allow me to elaborate... It is easier for the society to accept you as gay than as straight with all sorts of problems. I am most likely way off the mark, but it's just a thought.
Was that elaborating or just rephrasing?
CoolBlue71
JUB Addict
You're good looking; not funny looking.
Jeimuzu
The Ire Brigade
No, I don't think I'd change who I am in that sense.
shypuppy69
Slut
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When I was younger and still totally in the closest, I would have preferred being straight and I would probably prefer being straight for my parents. There are certainly situations in life that would be easier if I were straight also. As for my own inner feelings? I'm gay so I'm attracted to other guys. Why would I want to change something I enjoy?
nihilis
On the Prowl
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I would not be gay if I had the chance to change it. Granted, I'm not living any sort of gay lifestyle right now, being a 30 year old virgin closet case, and this view might change once I get the balls to start living the way I was made.
I have two issues with being gay: the first is the fact that we have to go through the coming out process in some form in order to be happy. Sex and sexuality are private, and I feel like we have to go through this extra step that straight people don't have to deal with in order to even date, let alone explore sex. Coming out comes with risks that straight people never have to deal with, and with the situation I'm in now, I'd rather not have to deal with it either.
The second issue I have deals with labels. I know everyone gets discriminated against at some point, but it's more subtle than that. I hate the fact that once I'm out, all of my actions are going to somehow be scrutinized more heavily because I'm gay. If I move my hand a certain way or get extremely emotional about something, it will forever be associated with my homosexuality rather than my personality. Straight people don't get looked at and their actions judged "because they're straight". It feels like too many people all of a sudden have this extra invasive insight into my life just because of the fact that I like guys. I know most people aren't watching every gay person's every move, and most of the time there's no malice at all behind it even if they are, but it still really bothers me because I know it's there. That's just my two cents. It really is a non issue, since we deal with what we're given, but I figured I'd answer this anyway.
I have two issues with being gay: the first is the fact that we have to go through the coming out process in some form in order to be happy. Sex and sexuality are private, and I feel like we have to go through this extra step that straight people don't have to deal with in order to even date, let alone explore sex. Coming out comes with risks that straight people never have to deal with, and with the situation I'm in now, I'd rather not have to deal with it either.
The second issue I have deals with labels. I know everyone gets discriminated against at some point, but it's more subtle than that. I hate the fact that once I'm out, all of my actions are going to somehow be scrutinized more heavily because I'm gay. If I move my hand a certain way or get extremely emotional about something, it will forever be associated with my homosexuality rather than my personality. Straight people don't get looked at and their actions judged "because they're straight". It feels like too many people all of a sudden have this extra invasive insight into my life just because of the fact that I like guys. I know most people aren't watching every gay person's every move, and most of the time there's no malice at all behind it even if they are, but it still really bothers me because I know it's there. That's just my two cents. It really is a non issue, since we deal with what we're given, but I figured I'd answer this anyway.
strataboy19
On the Prowl
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My two cents is probably worth a little less than the others since I'm fresh out of the closet (and I'm still waiting for my nightmares to come true and total chaos to ensue...probably never going to happen). At first glance of this question, my initial reaction was "hell yeah, I'd be straight in a heartbeat!" I've been through my own personal hell. I would love the chance to live a life without the depression that I endured while closeted, the fear that I've felt over disclosing my true sexuality, the feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and denial.
Then, when I thought about it a little more, I asked myself: Would I choose to be white if I could? Answer: Nope, No way! I'm proud of my African heritage. I'm more sensitive to issues of other cultures and traditions because of it. I'm more understanding of others regardless of where they came from (including the same groups of people who aren't always so understanding and accepting of my own heritage).
So when I return back to the question of choosing my sexuality, maybe I wouldn't choose to be straight quite so fast. Sure life would be a little easier if I was straight. It would also be a little easier if I was white. But I'm not. This is me. I've learned so much because of that...and I have so much more to learn. So maybe I'd choose to be gay afterall. I just hope that a few years down the road if I'm asked the same question, I'll say "nope, no changing me!" a little faster.
Then, when I thought about it a little more, I asked myself: Would I choose to be white if I could? Answer: Nope, No way! I'm proud of my African heritage. I'm more sensitive to issues of other cultures and traditions because of it. I'm more understanding of others regardless of where they came from (including the same groups of people who aren't always so understanding and accepting of my own heritage).
So when I return back to the question of choosing my sexuality, maybe I wouldn't choose to be straight quite so fast. Sure life would be a little easier if I was straight. It would also be a little easier if I was white. But I'm not. This is me. I've learned so much because of that...and I have so much more to learn. So maybe I'd choose to be gay afterall. I just hope that a few years down the road if I'm asked the same question, I'll say "nope, no changing me!" a little faster.
sqjs00
Virgin
I couldn't agree with this more. I believe that being gay has made me the person that I am today, and I am honestly quite proud to be that person. So often my friends tell me that they love me because I can listen, and how that is so unusual for a guy (yes I'm in the closet to all except a few close friends). And if I would be the same person either way, then it wouldn't matter at all.
However...
My parents are proud of the person that I am, but they wouldn't be proud at all if they knew I was gay. I come from an incredibly conservative background, like so many others, and I know that they would not want me around if they knew because I would constantly remind them of what they consider Sin.
If I could change, I would only because I would then feel comfortable around my family. I wouldn't have the constant feeling of inadequacy to my cousins because I don't have a girlfriend, wife, or child. If it meant that I had to be different, I would never change. I love my relationship with my friends and myself too much.
