setting boundaries / keeping relationship offline ? (need advice) lol

[KnucklesEchidna]

In a serious relationship with someone right now, I wanted to know if I'm wrong for what I'm about to say....

My bf wanted to add me to my facebook account. I denied his friends request because I knew that if I added him on there. Alot of the people on my friends list who I know too well would hunt him down like a vulture. ( meaning that they would try to add him & try to start a bunch of nonsense like try to convince him to have a threesome with the both of us) I really wouldn't call those people my "friends". I wouldn't even post his picture on there..... I changed my relationship status and left it as that and the people who claimed who were happy for me would want to do some *stuff* on skype....As if I was single and would even consider doing that .........anyhow

I have my account on there for business & nothing personal. I deactivated my profile because I'm now here with my BF, just flew out here last week & I don't want to spend that much time online while I'm here. Now here's what my BF thought of the issue to why I denied his request.

At first he was sorta upset, but I had to keep explaining to him that I've been there and done that with other guys I've talked to in the past & pretty much what I've said before * It happened* It created drama.

Now that I'm here with him, I made a personal account with just close friends ,family, & my bf on there. . .

Is keeping my relationship offline better than to flaunt it like some do ? Has anyone experienced this before, where they kept certain things seperate from their relationships, Feel free to tell me I know it may sound like a stupid question lol but just asking

have a good day everyone,
knuckles

 

[bankside]

You blocked the wrong person from your Facebook account.

 

[KnucklesEchidna]

You blocked the wrong person from your Facebook account.

You mean the people who I didn't trust on there ?

 

[sixthson]

If your facebook account is just for business, why are your "friends" getting into your personal business. Why do they even know about your love life? Are you sure you aren't hiding something from your bf? I certainly would never visit a business fb account and begin to ask personal questions, especially about sex.

 

[Durango95]

I'm like you I do online media for business period. Personal business is done by phone or face to face. I've gotten involved in online dramas as well. I know what you are saying about that because it does and will happen. I see nothing wrong with your decision to keep your relationship closer to an inner circle of actual friends. That is the most annoying thing about gay men, the incessant meddling in other people's business.

 

[KnucklesEchidna]

If your facebook account is just for business, why are your "friends" getting into your personal business. Why do they even know about your love life? Are you sure you aren't hiding something from your bf? I certainly would never visit a business fb account and begin to ask personal questions, especially about sex.

They don't know that much about him at all, they just know from my relationship status. I recently stopped using facebook as something personal and started using as a business lately. I showed him my facebook account when I first got here and he pretty much understood why I wouldnt want him on there as a "friend". I know he still feels a bit hurt over it........Anyhow I deactivated that profile because it became too much to handle. Now that I have set up another account where I just have people who know me personally, family, classmates etc. I wouldnt mind having him on there

 

[KnucklesEchidna]

I'm like you I do online media for business period. Personal business is done by phone or face to face. I've gotten involved in online dramas as well. I know what you are saying about that because it does and will happen. I see nothing wrong with your decision to keep your relationship closer to an inner circle of actual friends. That is the most annoying thing about gay men, the incessant meddling in other people's business.

Thanks, yeah I agree......I think the last straw was when I received a phone call from a area code I didn't recognize right away. Listened to the voicemail & realized it was one of my friends calling to see how I was doing. So I called him back on skype since it's free & I'm not trying to burn my mins on my cell phone

Anyhow, the conversation was great I actually enjoying talking with him as a friend because he always came across respectful and our conversations were about news events, weather, media, catching up and seeing how we're both doing. Anyhow I told him about the guy I'm talking to ( Keep in mind this is pretty much someone who I thought could trust , because of our history together as friends ) He said he was happy for me & wished me the best of luck. .........That was nice to hear. We would always talk about the people in our lives but not too much detail but something we would talk about very briefly. But I sensed alot of jealously of him because I told him I didn't want to email a picture of him but I would feel comfortable showing a picture of him from cell phone towards the webcam of my computer. It may not have been the best quality but he could make out his face.

His response was very negative which caught me off guard , ' Oh yeah I seen him on Adam4Adam, If he doesnt treat you right you can always come and visit me"

Now first off he never seen him on Adam4Adam, He doesn't have a account & why would he be in his state since they both live in two different sides of the US. I didn't get upset because I knew he was trying to convince me that the guy I'm with is not worth my time. I cut the convo with him short on skype very quickly and deleted his number.

I guess what I learned from that particular issue is that sometimes you never know who your real friends are no matter how long you've known them.