Sex in Relationships.....

[albar05]

Hey guys...

Just wanted your views and shit like that.. :OP

Have been in my relationship with my bf for nearly 3yrs now.. .and i have a very high sex drive... however he insists he only needs sex once a week!!

This is driving me nuts.. as i want to have sex everyday!!! but he is very adament that its once a week and i have to deal!! i am not really happy about this, as he seems not to want to compromise at all!! but hay ho..

Is this usual for gay guys.. once a week!!! sorry but i had been straight up until i met him , and only been with women.....

He says he has ALWAYS been that way... i am getting paranoid that its me, becoz i am not experienced at the whole anal sex thing, we have not done it alot , and mostly just done everything else.. which he seemed happy with.. but i am starting to thing this is the reason ?? I have started recently insisting we have anal sex and even that does not make him want sex more!! grrrrrr

Views please..... :O)

Thanks guys..

 

[GL]

what i find troubling is that your boyfriend is unwilling to compromise. i could understand if there was some underlying reason for his stance but otherwise?

 

[belamy]

Well, having in mind the common confusion between "boyfriend", "partner", "the guy I live with", etc. I guess you both should know what you want and expect from each other and make it clear to each other.
Unless, of course, you simply want to keep him because you have no one/nothing better to keep you company and you are scared of being alone.

For me, calling somebody "boyfriend" would already be a start in a whole process of compromise to the end of my days partnered/married/whatever with him; if he is just someone I live with he can be a friend, a pet or a relative; if I have sex with him he is a rentboy/escort/callboy/male companion... but that's just me having certain things too clear in my mind.

 

[Corny]

well if you have a very high sex drive, I guess my bf has, too.
personally i don't think it's that seldom that a guy wants sex every day. i'm not the "every day" person, but almost. so i guess you are pretty normal, or maybe a bit above - so what?
in a relationship, especially in a relationship of 3 years you should be able to work this out. ever asked him to jack you off or give you a blow job from time to time? does he mind you masturbating while he is around (if this works for you)? something like that should work, maybe not every day but maybe every few. i guess he will not like you going out and having hookups - although for some people this works - for me it would be out of the question though.

 

[albar05]

hey guys,

Thanks for all yr replies , some of which where not so helpful... But still funny.

As we have been together just under 3 yrs we are both obviously committed to therelstionship, sex is only a very small part of what we have , and to me there are more important things then just sex, we love being together,I just wanted yr views on if this was pretty normal or am I wasting time trying to get him to have sex more!

We do occassionally just sort me out and he would and does not mind me wanking off, but does not really do much to help.

I get aroused quickly anyways with him next to me in bed, so I try and not make it a major thing that he very rarely offers to wank me off or suck me off.

I guess I just have to do the best with what I get ( which isawesome anyways, hence why I want more!!)

We are 100pct not into going out alone for sex, and are committed totally sexually to each other..

Man I thought women where hard work sexually!!

Ha, keep em coming guys and thanks... Al

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>I get aroused quickly anyways with him next to me in bed, so I try and not make it a major thing that he very rarely offers to wank me off or suck me off.

Time to make it a major thing.

So you want it every day, and he wants it once a week. A decent compromise, I think, would be that you have sex once a week, and he helps you get off twice a week. If he doesn't want to suck you off or wank you, fine, but maybe he can just hold you in his arms while you masturbate. That should be easy for him to do even if he's not horny.

Lex

 

[albar05]

Thanks guys.. all your replies are awesome!! and have helped me alot.. keep em coming.. :O) .. its so interesting hearing what other people have to say..

Al :O)

 

[BlondeCanadian]

I think if he isnt getting aroused by you laying in bed with a hard on he has problems... Also is the once a week a set in stone thing or what spurs on your sex? it isnt like o it is friday time for your weekly dose of sex is it?....whatever you do to get him to have sex once a week you should try more of

 

[DeMan06]

Well, could be a lot of things. First thing I would have to ask is:

is this a recent development? or has it been this way your entire relationship?

If it's a recent development then you may want to look for the cause (recent medication that could effect his sex drive, life change like job ect that could be adding more stress, possible he's "losing interest")

If it's been like this your entire relationship or if this is a change and the "cause" cant be fixed then you guys will just have to sit down and work something out.

Maybe look at when you're wanting sex? is it always when you guys are getting ready to go to bed? maybe he's just to tired then; maybe you guys could try for a bit of sex when you get home from work (I had to do this with my BF as his job was making him pretty tired by 11PM, so during the week we try and have sex when we get home from work).

If he truly is just not interested in sex at all more than once a week then look for other compromises. If you're a bottom maybe try to get him to use a Dildo on you while you jack off, or as someone else suggested maybe just hold you and make out with you while you jack off. Make it clear to him that you don't always have to do one thing (Ie don't always have to have anal sex or always have to have oral sex or whatever). Just make it clear to him you would like him to participate in you getting off, even if he doesn't feel the need to get off.

If he's not willing to do anything for you then... well, you may want to re-examine your relationship. While I agree sex certainly isn't the most important thing in a relationship it IS an important part of a relationship; if for no other reason than because your sexual health and satisfaction directly effects your overall health/mood ect.

 

[racer2438]

he may jsut not like sex as much as you, that wil be hard on you. You need to talk to him and find out whats wrong , there be something else.

My bf and I have sex at least 5xs aweek and sometimes 2-3xs in a day.
after 24 yrs together we know what ea other needs are, sometimes we do different things or in differet places to keep it spieced up.

 

[The Big Shot]

Hey guys...

Just wanted your views and shit like that.. :OP

Have been in my relationship with my bf for nearly 3yrs now.. .and i have a very high sex drive... however he insists he only needs sex once a week!!

This is driving me nuts.. as i want to have sex everyday!!! but he is very adament that its once a week and i have to deal!! i am not really happy about this, as he seems not to want to compromise at all!! but hay ho..

Is this usual for gay guys.. once a week!!! sorry but i had been straight up until i met him , and only been with women.....

He says he has ALWAYS been that way... i am getting paranoid that its me, becoz i am not experienced at the whole anal sex thing, we have not done it alot , and mostly just done everything else.. which he seemed happy with.. but i am starting to thing this is the reason ?? I have started recently insisting we have anal sex and even that does not make him want sex more!! grrrrrr

Views please..... :O)

Thanks guys..

Hey, at least you're getting some. My boyfriend and I don't EVER fuck. He never wants to do it. He says he does, then he'll go take some sleeping pills and pass out. I'm horny and am constantly beating off by myself before I go to sleep.