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Sex is always difficult with a new guy

greenbriefs

greenbriefs

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I haven't had very many sexual partners in my life, but I have always found that I can't bring myself to orgasm or stay erect during the first couple times with a new guy. It's terribly embarrassing, especially considering it's a "first impression" kind of situation.

It's totally in my head, I know, but I don't know how to counteract it. I feel so much pressure to perform that I spend more time worrying about failure that enjoying myself. And now that I have failed once with this guy, I'm extra worried about failing the next time, and that just feeds the problem.

Past guys have taken it personally. Luckily this isn't the case with my current guy.

I don't really have a question, per se, just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks for reading.
 
It's performance anxiety. You're freaking yourself out about losing your erection, and it comes to pass. Talk to your doctor. Perhaps using Viagra or other med is appropriate for you the first couple of encounters with your man until you break your mental cycle.
 
I think it's all a matter of attitude. You know it's (probably) going to happen, so simply accept it. If you treat it like it's no big deal, your partner is much more likely to do the same. Just smile and tell your partner, "I tend to get a bit of performance anxiety my first few times with a guy." Then smile larger and say "Anything else I can do for YOU?"

At the end of the session, if you'd like, you might try just laying in his arms and bringing yourself to orgasm, if you think you can. I think most guys wouldn't find that strange, and possibly kind of nice as well. :)

Lex
 
No biggy.

So to speak.

As noted, just tell the guy not to take it personally if you go limp. It is like desire in overdrive. Try to find ways to relax. Take it slow. Let him jerk you off while you're relaxed and become comfortable and familiar with getting attention.

Or try the Viagra route and just go at it like fuck monkies.
 
well, i found that i need foreplay and a connection to stay erect around a guy, i think its cause i am shy
 
Just wanted to say thanks for the words. Once I "get used" to a guy, I usually don't have a problem, it's just the first one or two times that really give me a problem.

Anyway, my current guy seems to be quite swell. He's very patient with me and never act like it's an inconvenience.
 
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