Sex is boring

[mike121811]

Well, I've been living with my boyfriend almost a year now (he's 50 i'm 21). I can probably count with my fingers how many times we've actually had sex. 90% of the time I am trying to make hints at him or begin rubbing him, but he always seems to push my hand away. Or I'm laying with him in bed and I start to pull down the sheets and he pulls them back up.

When we do have sex - he lays in the same spot the entire time while I give him a blowjob - then he pushes his hand down and masturbates until he cums on his chest. Then i just have to lay next to him and jerk myself off.

I keep offering him to get on top of me or offer a blowjob but he says no most of the time.

We only do it when HE wants to.

 

[bastard wing]

i'm sure you already know this but some people's sexual appetite begins declining as early as thirty. it almost seems as if you've adopted a dog then got mad that he's crapping all over your back yard. are you really that surprised that someone in their 50's could have a different level of sexual appetite. sex isn't the only important part of a relationship, if what else he gives you is worth it then maybe you should consider working around this problem. if it's deathly important to you that you have a partner who can match you in the bedroom then maybe you should find someboy who can

Wait a minute, it sounds like you're blaming him for being disappointed, when to me it sounds like the boyfriend is just being selfish and unpassionate. He jerks off until he cums and leaves the guy to take care of himself all alone on the other side of the bed? That's not sex!
Regardless of how often you feel like it, when you feel like it the least you can do is to actually include your partner in the sex and not make them feel shitty and unwanted.

 

[Telstra]

i have noticed the BIG age gap !!!

thats the problem. its like father and a young son to me.
if u are happy with him, no problemo

 

[corvuspirit]

21 is too young to retire from sex...time to move on. Perhaps become less dependent on Daddy...

Push my hand away bitch, and you be living alone...

 

[4older]

I'm 34 and my partner is 57 and there's a large gap in age as well as sex drive. While sometimes he's not so horny but realizes that I am, he'll take care of me or cuddle with me while I jerk off. With any relationship comes compromise so I don't expect him to be at attention everytime I'm horny but he naturally wants to help out from time to time even if he's not into it.

So regardless of sex drive your bf is being really selfish in bed. Sex is important in a relationship so you have every right to bring this up if you're not happy with things. Get some clarity as to where he's coming from and try to reach a healthy compromise. Sex in a serious relationship should be about connecting on some level rather than just service and roll over. (that's what bathouses are for)

 

[Storybook_Man]

Well, I've been living with my boyfriend almost a year now (he's 50 i'm 21). I can probably count with my fingers how many times we've actually had sex. 90% of the time I am trying to make hints at him or begin rubbing him, but he always seems to push my hand away. Or I'm laying with him in bed and I start to pull down the sheets and he pulls them back up.

When we do have sex - he lays in the same spot the entire time while I give him a blowjob - then he pushes his hand down and masturbates until he cums on his chest. Then i just have to lay next to him and jerk myself off.

I keep offering him to get on top of me or offer a blowjob but he says no most of the time.

We only do it when HE wants to.

Thats all you do is blowjobs and jerking off? Wow that is pretty boring.... But being in a relationship isn't always about the sex, granted I think sex is a very healthy part in a relationship and plays a major key.

If I were you I would find out his likes, and start teasing him, make him want to have sex with you but then don't. Sooner or later he will just grab you and hot sex will ensue.. Or so how guys do to me, but then again I don't have relationships, I am to young, I do however stick with the same guys and have been for the past 2-3 years. You have to be careful with this though, he might think something bad of it. Also don't let him cum before you. Usually when a guy his age cums first, its the end of fooling around. Get him to play with you, or you don't return the favor. You have to give to get I always say.

Whenever I need to get my guys in the mood for sex, I usually do things that they like and that gets them hot and bothered... If they are tense and had a bad day or something like it I will give them a massage and start lightly kissing their neck and sooner or later I get thrown down and well you get the picture. This doesn't work if you aren't good at giving massages.. Use a lot of hand, when you squeeze and work out the kinks, rubs your arms against him, get close to him where he can feel the heat from your body. Its a turn on for any guy. Give it a try, thats all I really know what to do because it always works. Good luck, hope you two work it out.

Edit: Now that I just read all of the other posts, I only really agree with 4Older, but I don't think anyone should end a relationship due to just low amounts of sex. Talk to your partner first.

 

[gabriel1]

If you've been together almost a year, and 90% of the time your sex life has been unsatisfactory, have you approached your partner about it? Almost appears that he is just selfish and you need to either accept it, work with him on it, or leave.

 

[chrisdobro]

1. I want to see getstoseven and marleyisalegend fight it out in an honest gay man-fight.

2. I am 28, my partner is 50+. I've been with him 10 years. Our sex life has always been rocky and I imagine it will always be rocky. It has always been a process of giving up sex, negotiations about sex, passive-aggression about sex, sometimes no sex for months up to a year, planned sex, not enjoyable sex, upsetness after sex, not understanding and not knowing each other's sexual desires/wants after 10 years and yet sometimes there was good sex.

I am the submissive person in the relationiship. There may be a better word for it, but I can't think of one right now. To clarify, we are not into a master/slave relationship, I am just the more submissive person. As such it makes it very hard for me to tell my partner what I want and what I desire and I expect my partner to fix up the sex life for me, even though it never happens. That part did not change for me in 10 years. Looking back at all my sexual encounters in life, that submissive part was always in me and probably for the most part will be. I wait for others to make decisions for me, sexual, relationship, or otherwise.

If that somewhat describes you, I'd recomment seriously considering your options. Your options may be:
* staying with this guy for another 9 years or more with the very same problems and issues, even though you may solve them once in a while for short periods of time along the way.
* considering breaking this relationship off and starting anew

My 2nd option may sound harsh, but it's better to consider it one year into the relationship while you are 21 rather than 10 years into it and you being 30.

One thing I can say with more or less certainty: boring sex problem will not go away. It may disappear but it will come back. And if it's anything like my situation, you may just be back to the forums with another question, a different one, but it will be the same problem with a different slant on it.

I am still battling my issues, and probably will for quite some time . . . There are many reasons I am staying in the relationship. What are yours ? For me, at first it was quality of living I got and deep conversations. Now it's business, real estate and history built over time.

During my first year I've had sex plenty of times. Later it was an unfortunate surgery that hindered my partner's libido, after which our sex life crashed big time many times over and still does. Sex is an important thing for me. I probably wouldn't stay after 1st year if I could count sex on my fingers. There must be something else that is keeping you with this guy.

 

[maturemenfan69]

My ex-partner and I used to have great sex the first 18 months of our relation, then he started with the same bullshit you are discribing. I would have to beg for him to take his shirt off, or reaaaally beg for him to jo with me. It is not like he was embarrassed of his hot furry body... According to him the problem was stress, and for some time I believed him. Then I realized he was teasing guys over the internet and jo by himself... I can accept that from my partner as long as he is sexual with me too. So after a year of trying to make him stop and trying to make him take his damn shirt off once in a while we brokeup. I understand if he doesn't get horny as much as I do because of the age difference and all that, but being lazy in bed to that extreme is a deal breaker... it shows you don't give a crap.
There are plenty of decent guys out there who are not like that, so it is up to you Mike to consider all the issues surrounding your relationship. We can only tell you that what you are going through happens to some of us, and that there are options.

 

[USEDCAR]

Get a new boyfriend whos around your age range

 

[M4P]

This thread has been moved to Coming Out & Relationships

 

[-Lance-]

I would date a man up into his 30's.

I'm 18, but he'd have to catch up with my sex drive.

It's a must. I am constantly horny. ....of course, I am 18 afterall.

Sex is a huge part of my realtionships.

 

[panda29]

Sex Is Not Boring It's Just The Person That You Are With !!!
I Am 53 And My Partner Is 62 And All I Got To Say Is Hot,hot,hot!!!!!!!

 

[-Lance-]

now that just wouldn't be fair, someone as open-minded and thoughtful as me against someone who posts such narrow-minded, one-dimensional, quick-to-judge posts......

So many people online are like that.

Especially the gays on JUB. Well, anyone apart of a minority should wave a red flag in your brain of the possibility of a stick up their ass. haha

People are just to sensitive and defensive with their assumptions.

I don't care to argue with or get upset over something unless it is "in my face" or "blunt"

 

[EvilForce]

Well, I've been living with my boyfriend almost a year now (he's 50 i'm 21). I can probably count with my fingers how many times we've actually had sex. 90% of the time I am trying to make hints at him or begin rubbing him, but he always seems to push my hand away. Or I'm laying with him in bed and I start to pull down the sheets and he pulls them back up.

When we do have sex - he lays in the same spot the entire time while I give him a blowjob - then he pushes his hand down and masturbates until he cums on his chest. Then i just have to lay next to him and jerk myself off.

I keep offering him to get on top of me or offer a blowjob but he says no most of the time.

We only do it when HE wants to.

Dude, he's 50 you're 21. What did you honestly expect?

It's time for a cum on Jesus speech. Either he gets with the program, you move to an open relationship, or it's time to end it. End of story.

 

[youngnihilist]

some people who are in their 50s have a high sex drive but obviously this one doesnt. you want constant sex like a typical 21 year old - find another 21 year old!

 

[KaraBulut]

Well, I've been living with my boyfriend almost a year now (he's 50 i'm 21). I can probably count with my fingers how many times we've actually had sex. 90% of the time I am trying to make hints at him or begin rubbing him, but he always seems to push my hand away. Or I'm laying with him in bed and I start to pull down the sheets and he pulls them back up.

When we do have sex - he lays in the same spot the entire time while I give him a blowjob - then he pushes his hand down and masturbates until he cums on his chest. Then i just have to lay next to him and jerk myself off.

I keep offering him to get on top of me or offer a blowjob but he says no most of the time.

We only do it when HE wants to.

What is disconcerting about your post is that these types of posts usually start with, "I love my boyfriend but..." or "He's the man of my dreams but..."

There's not a single mention of how you feel about him or how he feels about you.

That's a much bigger issue than whether or how often you have sex.

There's a lot of reasons why this relationship isn't going to work. It's time for you to move on and find someone that you can have a more well-rounded and satisfying relationship with.

 

[torontoguy22]

err, 50 is a bit old. i'm 19 and i know how horny and verile i am. i just don't think a 50 year old could keep up with me.

 

[spearsfan20]

So when I was 21 I was dating a 31 year old who lived in Fort Lauderdale. He looked like he was 25 or 26 and he had a big cock. He was the oldest guy I had ever dated. Sex was hella fun so I enjoyed every bit of it. I don't see nothing wrong with a guy in his
20s dating a guy in their 30s. I just find a 20 year old dating a guy in his 50s to be...errkey IMO. If you feel like sex is getting boring for your age you need to mash replay in your head and remind yourself that you are too young to be fucking a guy who is three times your age. It's totally sugardaddy.

 

[ejbonk]

Wait a minute, it sounds like you're blaming him for being disappointed, when to me it sounds like the boyfriend is just being selfish and unpassionate. He jerks off until he cums and leaves the guy to take care of himself all alone on the other side of the bed? That's not sex!
Regardless of how often you feel like it, when you feel like it the least you can do is to actually include your partner in the sex and not make them feel shitty and unwanted.

Amen!!!!!!!! And Viagra or any Drug will not change this problem.