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Sex on the second date?

Maccabee

Maccabee

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Last Thursday I met this really cute boy for the first time in real life. I originally met him on a profile site where we talked for some time and we agreed to meet. We have a lot of things in common, such as music taste, humor, and a lot of other interests. It just seems that he likes everything that I like!

So we met in a café and it was a such a good date! We were both very interested in each other. Although we did not kiss, we already talked about meeting each other very soon. We started texting each other and we now have planned a "Heroes Season 2 Marathon" for tomorrow. This marathon is going to start at 12 pm in my room. (that late, because we actually already had plans for that night!). But of course, we will definately not watch television all night.

During the past days we have send each other almost 100 text messages. I told him that I never ever had texted with a guy that much in a week and he said that was the same for him too and that that actually was a good sign. The thing is that I do not want this to be a one night stand. I really would like to see this grow into something serious. But then I wonder, is it good to have sex on the second date? Should I just go for it or just tease him and make him even long for me more?

Can any of you please tell me that sex on a second date is not a recipe for disaster?
 
My partner and I had sex on the first date, and it worked out o.k.
But everyone is different. He might be put off by "too much, too soon".
But if you are that attracted and you are spending the night together something is bound to happen--just be sure you have a good supply of condoms handy.
Best wishes for your budding romance!
..|mj54
 
You know, he's an equal partner in this. So why not use one of those 100 texts to actually broach the subject. Or, better yet, use the phone to actually call him and discuss it (if you can't meet in person). "I've been giving it a lot of thought, and I hope this doesn't sound too forward, but if you'd rather spend time in my room doing something other than watching Heroes, I'm totally down with that. If you'd rather wait for that, that's cool, too, but I wanted to let you know where I stood."

Lex
 
There are no rules, but according to my experiences it is better to wait a little more when you want something serious. I think that kissing is OK on the second date but let him wait a bit for hardcore action. If you were an easy prey he will leave you after the fucking.
 
There aren't any rules. Do what feels natural. My partner and I had sex on the first and each subsequent date. It seemed right and natural and it happened. Others don't feel that way, and that's fine too.
 
What do you want? Are you ok with having sex on a second date, or do you feel you might need to put out in order to keep him interested?

I think it's something you both should discuss before the moment arrives where you might be uncomfortable with a fast and hard (no pun intended) decision.

Sex is a wonderful part of a relationship, but you shouldn't make the relationship revolve around just that.

It seems obvious you want this to be more than just a hook up. If having sex feels right, then go with your feelings.
 
Underlying all of this is that you're afraid that if you have sex, it's going to ruin a good thing. And you want to keep this one around for a while.

And that's what you need to talk to him about.
 
Heroes Season 2? Oh boy, that's gonna be painful as a marathon. Prepare to be disappointed!
 
Thanks for all your comments! Yesterday I talked to him on the phone for about 1,5 hour ( !). And we also talked about sex a little bit. I was making a joke about it and he asked me if I wasn't expecting too much. Then I replied that I was not really serious and that I want to take things slowly.

He also said that he had never had such a good date. That there really was a click. I also asked him if he easily loses interest in somebody. He answered that that has happenend in the past but that it will not happen this time because he thinks that we really connect!

And like Raptor said. I really am an emotional person. I can get hurt very quickly and I want to avoid that.

As for tonight... I'll just see what happens. I guess that if sex happens, it will not ruin everything. On the other hand, if it doesn't, it will only get even better!
 
Wow, a Heroes marathon? And me and my HRGs weren't invited...Granted, its a fair distance.

But, enough of my teasing...

I'd say don't sleep with him, at least not yet. I my last, and currently only, relationship we didn't actually do anything that involved touching each other in that way until about date four or five.

I think, generally, the agreed rule is the 3rd date tends to be the one in which both parties have a sense of whether or not they want to progress to a sexual connection.

If you feel differently, that's fine and it's your choice. I'd say wait it out, and if you feel that you must do something, mutual masturbation doesn't count.
 
Me and this guy I've sorta been seeing, we had sex on the first date when we met.
 
I not once had not had sex on a first date (*thinks) ... Yep, every time I had sex on my first date... is this slutty? I dunno. Do I think it's slutty, no.
 
Update!:

Things ended up very different from what I first expected! The 100+ text messages in a week of course created a certain expectation in my mind. Perhaps I even idealised him a bit.

When we met in my room, I still did like him and we had really nice conversations. After the dvd was inserted, we only watched Heroes for 5 minutes or so. And that was the marathon! We just started kissing and toucing. He did insist that he did not want to push things further.
After some hours we went to sleep and then we started touching each other again and things resulted in... uhm.. sex!

Alhtough it was nice, I think I subconsciencely pushed things further than he had in mind. The next day he said to me that in his opinion things had gone far too fast and that he had lost interest. I felt the same. So... this actually is the end of the story...

So what did I learn about this!? :P
1. If I really like someone, I am never going to rush
2. Stop the internet dating and meet people in real life. (Ok, this is not a direct consequence :) But I feel that with internet dating (or too much digital contact) you create an ideal and that ideal boy can be different in reality. If you meet someone in real life, you can immediately feel if there is a click. And that is really important for me!)
 
Maccabee said:
He is just a very sensitive boy.
Click to expand...
Or horny again. :rolleyes:

It'll be interesting to see if he "loses interest" again once his rocks are off. It could be, and that could be fine with you too. But, it doesn't sound like LTR material to me.

Good luck!
 
Yeah, I'd be a bit cautious around this one. Now that you've actually HAD sex, there shouldn't be any problem bringing up the subject. So sit down, and ask exactly what sort of relationship he wants. Friends? Friends with occasional benefits? Friends with constant benefits? Boyfriend?

Lex
 
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