Sex problems?

[esclaveliberal]

I hope this isn't the wrong place to post this. If it is sorry. I wasn't exactly sure as to where I should post this.

First time I had sex I topped with some guy that I randomly hooked up with extremely drunk. Didn't quite enjoy it. Even though it was a hook up I kind of wanted the sex to be over with. Which is understandable.

So then I figured I'm not a top, but then this guy that I was seeing we had sex and I bottomed for the first time and I felt extremely uncomfortable and I made no noise. No moans nothing. Didn't really know what to do.

Is something happening that's wrong?

 

[Seasoned]

Yes, you seem to be programmed for meaningful rather than random hook ups.

 

[KaraBulut]

Well, what you did was a bit like going swimming for the first time by heading to the deep side of the swimming pool and diving in. Some people instinctively swim. Most of us would do something that barely resembles swimming.

Anal sex is a complicated thing. Very few people have good experiences the first time- especially when they're drunk or if they're with a hookup who doesn't know they're inexperienced. If most people based their opinion on the first try, very few would say that it was enjoyable. It's only after a few times (preferably with someone that you're comfortable with and who is patient) that it begins to feel good.

So, to continue the metaphor, maybe you need to start over again on the shallow end of the pool, learn to swim better before you go back to the deep side of the pool.

Find a guy to date. Get to know him. Play around with each other. Tell him that you're new to anal but you're wanting to try it. The rest is time, patience and a lot of lube- only after which you'll actually know whether it's something that you'll enjoy or not.

 

[panda29]

Find someone that you really want to be with not just random sex! It will be well worth the wait..

 

[NineOfClubs]

Find someone that you really want to be with not just random sex! It will be well worth the wait..

I'd tend to disregard that advice. Random sex, with the right guy, can be amazing. And you could learn so much more than going with the "safe" choice...

But mostly, what KaraBulut suggests is what I'd suggest as well.

 

[hylas]

agree with kara and clubs, not so much with knees and panda.
i think this is not so much an issue of nsa-sex versus relationship.

i think its about being playful and experimental, and about gaining experience, and doing what feels right, and slowly finding out what works for you. you can do that with a steady boyfriend or you can do that with more casual sexpartner(s), as long as they are nice and respectful. of course, they can only be that if you communicate, and if youre not batshit drunk.

maybe youre just not into anal. maybe you just need to find a way that works for you.

 

[mbamike]

I hook up with random guys and have a great time! Maybe you are just over thinking the situation rather than just enjoying the time you are with someone. So, just take a few deep breaths and relax.

Also, I am never drunk when I hook up. I am fully aware of everything.

I agree that communication is very important with hookups. I don't like quick cum dumps and state so up front if that is where the conversation goes. A fuck session with me lasts for several hours. It is more like making love rather than just two guys getting their rocks off.

I enjoy the feel of another naked body lying next to mine. I love to cuddle.

I love the taste of another guy's mouth. Of course, I enjoy sucking his cock too. Then when he rims my ass, I just melt. Last but not least, when he penetrates my hole and we actually fuck! WOW! This is absolutely amazing!

 

[Echoes]

There's nothing wrong it's just lack of experience, so I'm quoting myself for this one...

Experience makes it a lot easier with time, at some point you'll find yourself really comfortable and ready for sex. Although, you may try finding a partner, someone to spend time with and not only sex, when you feel comfortable with someone at all times sex is just a great complement and there's nothing to feel nervous about. Mate, find a partner, it brings it all together.

best of luck.

 

[Harker]

Well, what you did was a bit like going swimming for the first time by heading to the deep side of the swimming pool and diving in. Some people instinctively swim. Most of us would do something that barely resembles swimming.

Anal sex is a complicated thing. Very few people have good experiences the first time- especially when they're drunk or if they're with a hookup who doesn't know they're inexperienced. If most people based their opinion on the first try, very few would say that it was enjoyable. It's only after a few times (preferably with someone that you're comfortable with and who is patient) that it begins to feel good.

So, to continue the metaphor, maybe you need to start over again on the shallow end of the pool, learn to swim better before you go back to the deep side of the pool.

Find a guy to date. Get to know him. Play around with each other. Tell him that you're new to anal but you're wanting to try it. The rest is time, patience and a lot of lube- only after which you'll actually know whether it's something that you'll enjoy or not.

This. But I would add that if you go this route, and have more experiences with anal sex and you still find yourself not liking it, either way, there is nothing wrong with you and I'm sure you will find partners and other things to do during sex that will satisfy you (safely.)

 

[TX-Beau]

I don't like to bottom, It's uncomfortable, and if I have a prostate, no one's ever managed to find it.

I didn't know that upfront, and so the first time I did bottom, I was so relieved, it was an unfortunate and painful experience and I jumped on that as proof I wasn't gay.

Well, there's a lot more to do than anal, and I had to figure that out too.

There's no substitute for experience, the only way you get it is to put yourself out there.

I agree that you might want to start with something a little less challenging, like macking in dark corners or something, but don't let it discourage you, even the greedy bottoms I know didn't start out that way. It takes a lot of experience topping, to know how to read and relax an inexperienced bottom, and it takes an experienced bottom, to take an inexperienced top (especially if he's big) without flinching.

The more you want it, the easier it is, so don't skimp on the foreplay.