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sex ruin a beautiful friendship? Why do people say sex ruins a friendship?

Unless people can distance themselves enough from the sexual act, as to be able to view it as just another manifestation of their friendship, it doesn't work.

It's very easy to develop deeper feelings for someone with whom you have a close relationship. Eventually, sex becomes something more than just fun, and starts to be an expression of love.

It's quite painful when you realize that nothing may come out of it, because the other person doesn't necessarily see you as anything other than a friend.:cry::-({|=
 
I actually find it easier to become friends with people I have sex with.

Random hookups turn into friendships. Huh.
 
You can't go back. Some people get self-conscious afterwards and are never quite the same towards you. It can only survive (or has the potential to) if it was just a fuck and nothing else.
 
There are two ways in which this can happen:

1). The so-called friendship was based on sexual attraction, which is gone after the actual sex has taken place. (The friendship was actually a grooming period).
2). The former friend cannot grasp that your rolling-in-the-hay was a one-off and you have to push him away because he wants to claim you for himself.
 
The biggest danger is that one person will develop romantic feelings while the other doesn't.

The relationship then often becomes too uncomfortible to survive.
 
It's very easy to develop deeper feelings for someone with whom you have a close relationship. Eventually, sex becomes something more than just fun, and starts to be an expression of love.

It's quite painful when you realize that nothing may come out of it, because the other person doesn't necessarily see you as anything other than a friend.
Click to expand...

Exactly. I'm in a situation kinda like that right now actually :(
 
CorporalAris said:
I actually find it easier to become friends with people I have sex with.

Random hookups turn into friendships. Huh.
Click to expand...

So true! Especially in my life.

Even the other way has worked out in one or two cases.

I had sex with one (or two) who'd been a friend for years.

No "ruin" if anything it was very much a good thing.
 
I personally never have sex with my friends. I like to keep my friends and my sex life separate.
 
This has worked for me once. Have been friends with the guy for nearly 20 years and didn't see him for about 8 of those. Recently started hanging out and one night it just happened. It was fun, it was about damn time, it happened a few more times, and we just joked about it. Didn't ruin the friendship and there are no "more than friend" feelings from either party. We still see each other regularly just as friends.

I really think it depends on the dynamic of the friendship. I have several friends that this could never happen with or feelings would get hurt eventually.
 
I really don't think it's so simple as "perception of sex" or if you're a "puritanical american"

If you're in a situation where you have a good friend, maybe you're both attracted to eachother, but one's more likely to get attached and develop romantic feelings toward the other, you have a real problem if sex gets involved.
 
axioma16 said:
Unless people can distance themselves enough from the sexual act, as to be able to view it as just another manifestation of their friendship, it doesn't work.

It's very easy to develop deeper feelings for someone with whom you have a close relationship. Eventually, sex becomes something more than just fun, and starts to be an expression of love.

It's quite painful when you realize that nothing may come out of it, because the other person doesn't necessarily see you as anything other than a friend .:cry::-({|=
Click to expand...


There it is. Well said.

It's better to establish early a FWB type of relationship (if that's what you're going for) before it turns into something serious. OR Don't even go there.
 
BeMused said:
If you're in a situation where you have a good friend, maybe you're both attracted to eachother, but one's more likely to get attached and develop romantic feelings toward the other, you have a real problem if sex gets involved.
Click to expand...

Obviously then there you have two different kinds of perception of sex. And one of them doesn't really work with a friendship.
 
All the best friends I ever had started off as sex, or dating, or even sex after being friends for a while. Never been a problem. We are only human. Guys find me attractive and I have attractive friends. Get that curiosity out. Never turned romantic or odd.
 
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