Shallow thoughts.....???....what would you do?

[MJay2011]

I dont know if this goes in this forum but Im gonna say it any way......
I've been seeing a 26 yr old guy for 7 yrs now. I'm 46......shut-up.......He was 18 when it started.....well any way its been going on all this time and we are both in the closet.....He gets what he wants and then treats me like shit till hes ready for more and like an idiot I go back for more .....why? Hes 26 good looking good job......Im 46.....ok get the pic? Im ready to come out and he isnt so If I come out .....hes afraid it will out him......because of all the time we have spent together.....To shorten up this......I met a guy my age....he treats me like a GOD.....worships me.....wants to take care of ME....but hes overweight and not very attractive at all......Im not very comfortable in public with him.......I feel so for the 26 yr old to the fact I think its LOVE.......yep that four letter word.......am I being shallow?? WTF? Any advice would b appreciated........

 

[poloboy89]

someone treats you like shit? Screw them. Beauty is just as much about what's on the inside as it is what's on the outside. I'd much rather be with someone who has a prettier inside. Plus, a guy closer to your age will, likely, have more in common with you and would be easier to get along with. You don't deserve to be treated like garbage and the guy that treats you like a "god" as you say doesn't deserve to be treated like crap either. Don't beat around the bush with him, it isn't fair to him. Yes, it's shallow, but we're all shallow sometimes. You just have to be a man.

 

[HunterM]

someone treats you like shit? Screw them.

But that is exactly what the OP is doing! He keeps screwing him.

On a serious note...yes, we are all shallow at times. If the sex is good and you want to continue, then take the 26 yr old guy as a fuck buddy and NOTHING MORE. There is nothing wrong with that. That's how he is treating this relationship. He is not treating this relationship as love. You have known this guy for 7 years. If he's not changing now, he is not going to change for you. When you start believing there's something more, that's when you're screwing yourself with mind games.

Why do you "love" someone who treats you like shit for years? Are there not better prospects out there (guys who are not overweight and attractive to you) for you to date?

I think you need to get out there and date more to get a better perspective. Coming out will help you do that...to see there are better options in life than being treated like shit.

 

[medic1]

He is using you , you are using him . After so many years you should realise this , if you are "ashamed" to be seen with the other bloke in public .
Do the decent thing and tell the fella .

If you do "come out" will it affect you severely "socially" ? It is a very liberating moment (in my case) , no more feelings of guilt , no more hiding , no more lying .
It is a major decision to take , if you do decide to come out , i wish you the best .

 

[KaraBulut]

Since you're coming out, it might be a good time to make some other changes.

 

[aaggii]

First of all, learn how to spell in a forum post.

Second of all, stop making up problems. So there is some age difference? So what? You, probably because you´re ¨in the closet¨, have no idea how many couples are just like that, straight or gay. There is a 24 years of difference between my guy and myself and we ended up living together. Problems? Yup. Because of the age difference? Not likely. It´s all about the right character, being a good person, having the same expectations from a relationship, like monogamy or the same definition of cheating or things 2 people in a couple like to do in the free time so they can do them together etc.

Third and final, do you want people for their looks or the way they are? Looks come and go.. it´s your choice to be indeed shallow and if you´re happy about it, then fuck whatever anyone else says. But if you want love, you need to change some things about the way you think. You are not comfortable in public with the 2nd guy because he is overweight? If so, maybe relationships are not for you and you enjoy more hooking up with different people. It´s all about what YOU want from yourself and the others. I´ve been told by my friends that a young guy as myself shouldn´t be with an older, overweight and shorter man than me. I told them to fuck off. I love my man and if someone is raising an eyebrow at us, they are as good as dead to me.

 

[lodeus369]

Sorry, but it sounds like you are being used!!! You deserve better! This is one of the biggest problems with age-gap relationships.

 

[mbamike]

Let's see. . . a guy that treats you like shit versus a guy that treats you like a god. Sounds like a no brainer to me.

 

[MJay2011]

That was sure an eye opener. But I really needed it. And yes I was being shallow and that is definitely not in my character. Thanks to all that responded......even the harsh ones..lol. I told 27 yr old that I think our relationship had run its course.....he replied.....We have no relationship......so that solved that right off the bat. Im not going to start seeing the 46 yr old either........Im gonna take this time to get my own self back and have a little fun.....It would be nice to find my 'soulmate' but its going to be more fun looking.......

 

[Corny]

Sounds like someone did not a lot of growing up from 18-26.

 

[Singularity]

If you're 45 and still in the closet, the last thing you need is a 26 year old further back in the closet. Find yourself someone that is comfortable with himself and possibly out and who will support you in your coming out. Life is too short to run after something that will never blossom.