Shepherd 2 - Archived Blog Posts

[Shepherd 2]

My JUB friends I am delighted to have so many of you aware and rooting for the success of my cochlear implant. My deafness has been a challenging journey for the last nine years, and it may be over soon, at least in part.

In three days my implant wll be activated. The surgery to implant the maget and other stuff was complete three weeks ago this Thursday. My healing on the head has gone nicely and the hair that was shaved off has pretty much grown back in.

During this time I have three different coaches or mentors who have had the surgery at some time in the recent past. It was great to have them in my home to visit and guide me in this time. Right now there are more questions than answers, and I am led to believe at least for a couple of weeks that will be true beyond Wednesday. At the very least it will take time for the implant and my body to learn to work in sync.

For a while I was more concerned about what it would mean at night and for my sleep patterns. Then I thought about those loud and intrusive noises such as barking dogs and fighting neighbors. Just in the last day or two I have had some fresh thoughts.

Mostly these thoughts have been about what I have thought of until now as a lose of hearing. What I realize today is that I lost much more than hearing. It has affected all of my relationships for better or for worse. I now believe it is those waking sounds that will be most important and I imagine I will have some adjustment for now I may be gaining something in all of my relationships. That is such a blessing.

Finally, thanks for all the well wishing I have received from so many of you. This has been very reassuring and I am deeply grateful for your kindness. I can't help but wonder what it will be like to go on JUB and at last hear something. Wow.
The man who would hear again, God willing!
Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

My dear JUB buddies, the journey has brought me back to the hearing abled. It is not perfect, and it might never be, but today has been a banner day, this Wednesday, the eleventh of March in 2009. Words can not possibly contain the happiness hearing my oldest grandson this afternoon, or to see the face of my partner when we both realized that the cochlear implant is working just fine.

My doctor and his staff seems as delighted as I was, and maybe even relieved that I was not disappointed. I will describe the external parts. There are three parts, the piece behing the ear has two parts, a processor with a microphone attached, and on the back rear base of my skull is a magnet that is part of the connection to the inner where the implant is located.

Internally is a long fishhooked shaped piece that is situated within the ear close to where the original cochlea is located.
This has allowed me, after some tweaking today, called programming to have the ability to receive and identify some sounds.

Those first sounds were my partner passionately hugging, embracing and telling me what I already knew but had not heard audibly since July 3, 2000. He loves me. I wept. After I calmed down, I made the most important call on his cell phone that I have ever made. I called my oldest grandson who will be two years old this Saturday. On the speaker phone he was told it was me calling.

He responded by saying, "Hi Popi! I love you Popi!" I wept without any control. He wept with me, and simply replied, "Why Popi cry?" The satisfaction and emotions poured from me. Then we made an appointment for next week when I will have some more programming done. It is expected that by then my implant and my body will be well on their way to working well together. I haven't tried music yet, or even television. I was so exhausted that I napped for an hour and a half.

About forty minutes ago, I called my daughter and my youngest or other grandson, and when he was put on the phone, (at age eighteen months) he announced himself, "Hi Popi!" When I responded and said, "Popi loves you." He clapped his hands gleefully. Again I wept. On one day I heard both of these young men's voices for the very first time. It was truly a miracle. My heart is full.

Now I have shared this good news with many of you and many who PMed me will be getting a personal message back from me. I am so happy to share this with you. In time I expect I will be able to watch videos here and hear sound tracks. I will be able to enjoy the music you put here and hear the lyrics sung to the new tunes. A lot has been added since 2000.

Shep+ hears!

 

[Shepherd 2]

Whatever I thought going in to this time of making several adjustments after my cochlear implant, I have learned a lot more since March the 11th, the activation date. The adjustments to the external equipment of my implant are complete.

What I am learning is that there are a lot of other adjustments to my implant. Now that I hear again, so to speak, there is the business of adjusting to all the environments I am in, like home, outdoors, work, highway, all the electronic noise making equipment from televisions, cell phones, background conversations, speakers on my computer, and most importantly the voices of my partner, my grandchildren and just about anyone else with whom I relate in this new way.

At first it was overwhelming. And the consequence was a series of pretty much sleepless nights. There has been the adjustments within my relationship with my partner. Let me be quick to add he has been far more patient, than I believe I could ever be. And then there is the adjustments to my own expectations and needs.

After nine years of deafness, I had come to treasure some of my silence, the solitude and times alone for reflection. I went with a mentor friend on a short walk along some of the Appalachian Trail, and it was an experiment. I wanted to stay for a long time and became rather emotional. I am leaning how to adjust what I do to take care of my personal need for down times and quiet times.

I know I will make it, but I seem to tire at times far too quickly. I am not saying this in a way of complaint. For I do not regret the opportunity to hear at all. In fact, I am still a basket case when I visit or am visiting with my grandsons. Popi cry? Popi cry? says my oldest grandson. While the youngest apparently thinks he can fix me up with many and continuous kisses.

I am not alone, and for that I am eternally grateful. A good partner is essential for times like this. It has been adjustment for me to be at JUB on the forums like I was before the implant. But I am aware that things are settling in, and although it is slow to me, progress is being made, daily, weekly and within the past month.

Somehow, I did not choose to listen when my mentors on this implant advised and helped me. I thought it would be easy for me, instead I am challenged. I thought the adjustments would be minimal, instead they have been widespread in all that I do.
There is adjustment still to be made, and with a little help, I will one day soon feel like my life has settled back into a more familiar pattern. If you read this thanks. If it can help anyone else, I would be pleased and grateful.

Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

Actually, and humbly, I never expected to live this long. This was especially true after my terrible car accident in 2000 and the verdict then, that I was likely to be a quadraplegic who would be confined to a wheel chair. And in the aftermath I spent nine years as a deaf man.

Birth to age 12 was one of sexual innocence. I was like anyother boy, but living one day at a time trying to learn what this life was all about. The death of my oldest brother and the illness of my mother were the negative events of that time, while the wonderful world that one saw on a cloudy day with the clouds skittering across the sky, or the beauty of a sunset and the awe of many rainbows, and the presence of my only sister were the great rewards.

My early teen years were horrible. From age 12 through 16 I was in the clutches of a determined pedophile. He pretty much abused me weekly or whenever he could get to my place. This was a time of great darkness and depression only heightened
the fear my predator cousin instilled in me if I told anyone.

From 16 onward, I was released from his clutches, and I lost myself in a world of highschool atheletics. A good athlete and a lover of sports games a good place to focus my energy and my anger, I excelled. In time I began to date and enjoy the company of a couple of girls. But my five male friends were the dominant people at that time.

Following graduation from highschool, I entered my college years. It was a journey from depression into adult life. I was a good student, and I majored in philosophy and languages.
Following college, I taught public school for three years, French and political science. At age 25 I experience a call to ordained ministry and then went to Yale University.

While in seminary, I met my wife, and we married and had a relatonship for the next twenty some years. I worked in sevral states and finally had a marriage which failed as I seemed to drift into a sexual twilight zone.

With my divorce came the opportunity to start anew. Don my partner and whom I know professionally for a number of years, decided to date me and get to know me. After seven months we agreed to be partners and formally took our own vows to each other.

Finally I realized in this period of time that I really am a gay man. With it came new energy and a very active sexual life with my partner which now extends over 23 years. This month I turned age 69. I like it, and it fits me well. And all those years seem like just a few days now that it is past.

I hope I am up to the challenges ahead. Today, my doctor said, I am pretty good in terms of health, and to keep on doing the things that make me do well. Of course this year's big event is just being sixty-nine, and second to it is hearing again after a cochlear transplant. My two grandsons seem not to have any memory of my deafness. I love the sound of their voices and enjoy visiting them as well.

Life is for living, and I hope to have a good one as long as it lasts. C'est la vie!

Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

This part of my journey sucks, in fact, I dread it. Recently I was diagnosed with an ideopathic pulmanery infection. Of course I was worried about HINI, but instead this appears to be worse yet, for it is an unknown factor. The methods of diagnosis are invasive and quite uncomfortable.

Realistically, I am now approaching seventy years of age, so I might reasonably expect a bump in the road from time to time, but this has thrown me for a loop. I do seem to be recovering, but what is the cause or even how to treat it seems out of reach at the moment for my doctors. In fact, my emergency room visit was a visit to a "house of horrors" and I want to sue the people who call what they did medical care.

Then the bills are an indication that indeed our American Health Care System can not be over hauled one day too soon.
For now I am hopeful about the progress, but it is slow. Meanwhile I am weak, not horny. I am a sorry ass, rather then anxious to bed down with my partner. It is very humbling. Some of you may think my road in life has been a piece of cake, and I am one to speak of the good times, and clearly these are not those times. I posted this blog to get some frustration off my chest, and to admit I had to make my partner anxious. I just want to feel better and soon.

Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

It was a year ago today, that the date was finally set for me to have a cochlear implant in March. So it has been one year in that process back into life as a person who has some ability again to hear. At the time I had mixed emotions. I certainly did not look forward to surgery. I had fallen in January, and had to be cleared of any possible concussion.

March came in like a lion weatherwise, and I was able to get the surgery completed on schedule. I had many ideas about many things, and now a year later I will reflect on the experience and so many ideas that have been tested. First fact of importance was that the surgery was technically and medically a success. In time I was able to find that with some adjustment to the technology I was able to hear both my grandsons for the first time.

Probably, they wondered why that was such a big deal for me, and why I was so weepy and emotional a lot of the time. Personally, I did not take into account the pain of the hearing loss ten years ago, and the emotional scars that I still bear. I had become and was a deaf man for nearly ten years. I had adjusted and was pretty happy.

My second experience was how much the new experience had changed my life. The down side for me was the loss of my times of inner solitude aided by my total deafness. I had come to treasure them, and now my life was prone to intrusive sounds and invasion of my inner privacy and to some extent sense of well being. Add to that the sound of car horns and tractor and trailers on the highway when I drive.

This was compounded quickly by the rising expectations my partner and others had of me. Nothing could have or did prepare me for some of the stress and even depression I would have to cope and live through until I had made more adjustments. Yes, I also added stress to myself during this time, feeling often that I was not and could not measure up to my own expectations. Yet all around me people affirmed me.

So I made a decision to try to get my mind wrapped around the bigger picture. Thus I have waited this year to write a blog about the experience. At the same time I was coping with two other transitions in my health. One change was my tendency to fall and injure my head now with technology which does not allow many forms of testing. Was the transplant such a good idea for a man my age? Now sixty-nine and soon to be seventy, I have had some anxiety about aging.

A second change has been in this year of the implant, my new hearing has declined to a point that I seemed to need constant adjustments to the equipment. Was I going totally deaf again, for I have always known that there is no new surgery if that happens.

How was all this going to influence my relationship with my partner Don? On top of it, he recently on December 31 or 2009retired and is not longer working outside our home except for volunteering. Was he going to hover over me? Was he going to treat me like an invalid? Indeed was he perhaps having second thoughts about the relationship itself? By now I know we are still in a good place.

What the future writes for me, I will have to wait and live it day by day. Much is so good. Our loving relationship is strong.
Our love making has so many healing qualities itself. We both love to make love, and we are both quite active in doing so.
Again, I feel so unworthy to have had at my side a husband who continues to stick with me through thick and thin. As I keyboard this thought I weep quietly with happiness. And you know I wish it will always be so. I promise to be his faithful husband too. So help me God.

Life is a wonderful journey. I will continue to look forward to the days, months, years, or even decades ahead. Amazement fills me at the wonder of how my sexual being is still so active and well. All the old farts who sent out verbal messages of a disabled sex life, well, they were wrong at least for now. I am delighted about that.

Jokingly, I have always referred to life past seventy as living on borrowed time. Truth is, it is pretty much as I see it now like the life that came before. I am so thankful for so much.

If you choose to read this long update, please know I am well, and hope you too will be well. I love being at JUB, and thanks for making feel at home here.
With hope, joy and peace in my heart,
Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

How blessed can one person be. Last spring I was the recipient of a cochlear implant which allows me to hear some. And after nearly nine years of being deaf, it was a life changing event. I am still adjusting, but I know I can count on hearing the voices of my three grandchildren. I love them, and the sound of their voices is music to my heart.

Mid-summer of last year, I fell while working in my garden. It was scary and disheartening. At first I had thought I might have lost entirely my right eye. I ruptured several blood vessels in that eye, and I was unable to see much most of the summer. Slowly over the winter, the cataracts in the eye solidified, and I was pretty much blind in that eye.

When I had my eye examination as a followup, in March, my doctor diagnosed the problem as cataracts, and urged me to get surgery as soon as possible. I did that and had two surgeries on successive weeks, the first April 15th and the second on April 22nd. On April 23, my opthalmologist said I was apparently seeing 20/20. He was surprised, and I was shocked. How could that be.

The surgeries removed my natural lens and the cataracts. In their place new man made lens were inserted in a micro surgery and the impact was immediate. For the first time since I was seven years old, I see without the aid of glasses. I still reach up to take them off when I shower, or prepare to go to bed at night. How blessed can one person be. So many changes in the period of just one year.

Thanks to so many JUBbers who have been so personally encouraging and patient with me. It was a blessing too to have those well wishes. I hope good health goes with me in all my years.

Your JUB buddy,
Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

Yesterday, I got word that I have formed a secondary cataract in my right eye. You may remember that I just had surgery in that eye on April 15. I am told it is a minor thing and is not uncommon, but I was not ready for a set back, nor do I do waiting well of any kind.

In early June, I am to have a procedure again on the right eye, and it is simple I am told. I am ready to get on with things. I can be just as impatient as the next man. But I will make it. Needless to say, it bothers me that I could still end up having to wear glasses to read again. I enjoy no glasses.

Just a small speed bump here in the twilight years of my life.
I will be fine, but I did want to update my recent happenings.
"C'est la vie!"
Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

Today, I got my final report from my eye surgeon. I am seeing 20/20 to read. I am finally getting rather accustomed to posting here now without reading glasses. Occasionally, I still reach up to remove them when I am not reading. It amuses me how forgetful I can be.

However, my far vision is still not quite right, and so I will need to wear glasses when I drive at night, and for a few other things. I can do it. Thanks for so many of you feeding back to me your concern and kindly thoughts. It has been a great help.

Love to you all!
Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

Good evening my Jub buddies and fellow wankers. This is no the sixth day for me living on borrowed time. I am grateful for the extra time, and I promise to try to make it interesting for me and hopefully also interesting for others.

Celebrating my birthday for four days just recently was a first. First there was the midnight wakening by my partner of twenty-six years, and was already down on my cock giving me the usual great head. First thing I knew is that at this advanced age, it was reassuring to not only realize that all my equipment was still working, but I was enjoying it as usual. Second, it was a joy to know that Don was ready to stay the course for who knows how long into our future.

His gift to me was a hot air balloon ride we will take together sometime between September 1 and November 1. This is virtually a dream come true for me. To say I am delighted is an understatement. For now we are studying a place to go up that I will truly enjoy the most. It will be for an hour or so, but my how I wish it could truly be around the world in eighty days.

Mid afternoon, the door bell rang, and when I answered it there were fireworks, and at first, I thought, "Oh shit, I've been shot. Seventy and out." But when I focused and looked it was my daughter and one of my grandsons come to celebrate with me. I was in a state of shock. Due to my son-in-laws work schedule, it was just the four of us for an evening of dining, and coming back to the house where I took my grandson for a couple of horseback rides. He loved it. So did I.

Lunch time on day two, we were joined by my youngest son and his wife, who have no children as yet. This time we had a backyard party and a surprise birthday cake. This was now about the fifth or sixth time I was serenaded with Happy Birthday. It was a fun evening.

Mid afternoon of day three we were joined by my oldest son, his wife and two grandchildren. Again there were horseback rides. Some hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Finally we feasted yet again with steaks. Then we all jumped in the pool to cool off, and spend the night chatting.

When Sunday rolled around, the house guests began to say their farewells after breakfast, and by mid afternoon, Don and I were both in our birthday suits around the house and putting the icing so to speak on my big birthday. Sleep came easily for I was rather exhausted. What a great birthday. It was made extra special for while we turned the house over to the children at night on days one, two and three, we went to a favorite motel were Don and I celebrated into the night. But day four we crashed and slept like babies.

Turning seventy has been a blast. Part of the joy of this journey was getting here. And I made my personal goal of having posted over seventy thousand posts before my seventieth birthday here at JUB, in fact it was in excess of eighty-five thousand posts. Yes, there is a nice smile on my face.

The legendary,
Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

My JUBber brothers and sisters, I have good news for you, there is just as much sexual drive available to most of us after age seventy as there was before. I am now into my eight day of borrowed time, and I am just as horny as ever. That does seem to please my partner, who is just a young man of sixty-three and not interested in hanging up his spurs just yet.

This is not one of those good news, bad news stories, for so far it has been just the best. After my recent birthday, my partner and I were more than ready to get back to our usual routines as a gay couple. May it continue for as long as God gives us both breath. Horny is the way to be, and man, grab life by the balls and hold on.

Love to you!
Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

Well it is that time of year again where my partner Don goes off to spend time with his family in August. I am really not very good about both his going, and how I handle it. Have any of you had this experience and do you care to comment on this. If you wish to send a PM, I would gladly receive it.

Don is aware that separation times are rough for me, and I suspect they are rougher for him that he usually says. One, I know his children and former wife, are not as forgiving as mine, nor are they happy to see his visits. He does not yet have grandchildren, so I imagine the visits seem more intrusive to his extended family.

So how do I explain my depressing experience when he leaves. Clearly it is not being driven by fear that he will not return, for he has done that consistently for twenty-six years. For me it is about my intense need for daily times of intimacy when we are together. My guess is, although he is happy for them, he does not seem to need them libidinally as much as I do. One week for me, has the feeling of three or four weeks while he travels.

To help, he does call me and talk at least twice a day. Always glad to hear his voice, when he hangs up the phone, I usually feel deeply sad. And no I do not tell him this, but after all these years I believe he is intuitively aware of it. He verbalizes this by saying, "Your voice sounds down today."
My reply is most often, "I can't wait until you are home again."

When he does come home, I am a bit of a clinging vine. I want him with me every moment, and my need for almost instant sexual intimacy means, he is engaged with me even before his suitcase is unpacked. Afterwards, I usually have his favorite dinner prepared by me for him.

As I observe him, he seems to be experiencing it quite differently. When we talk about it, he focuses on other things. That is to say he changes the subject. He becomes silent. I respect his need to pull back, but I supress the need to understand, and after a few days home, we are back in sync. I love him so much, and I believe with all my heart that he loves me just as deeply.

So at moments like this I begin to anticipate the next time he will be away from home for a week, and get sad, and then I simply convince myself to leave it all until it is close to the time for his visit to his children. I do not go with him, for his family are adamant that they do not want me around. Period, end of sentence.

Sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same. Twenty-six years, and I just cannot seem to get out of the pain cycle when he is gone for a week.

Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

Today I was reading a post by Dynk, who has been here for a number of years, and is clearly our most prolific poster here at JUB. What struck me, is that he has apparently had some nasty feedback from other JUBbers about his many posts. I was a bit discouraged when I read this, for I know it can be so. Perhaps if he does indeed either change his username or have his high post count changed, I will be further disapponted.

Giving in to the constant criticism is a real temptation, and I can understand that. But the criticism itself is indeed unfortunate. He is now approaching 300,000 posts. I for one hope it is never topped. It is a remarkable feat, and has required his posting in excess of 150 posts each and every day he has been on JUB. When another JUBber asked me if I thought anyone would ever surpass that number I replied, indeed, I believed it would happen.

None of that will take away from the considerable accomplishment that Paul has made here as Dynk, and his high post count. He has done it all before he turned sixty years of age. His decision whatever it may be will not change the historic fact. For some time to come he will be our highest poster. I salute him for setting his mark so high.

Paul, I wish you well in your future here at JUB. I will always look for your inimitable posting style, for my guess will be that it will not change because of a change in username or a change in persona. Thanks.

Your JUB friend,
Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

No, I am tired of looking back. Seventy years is a lot of looking. Frankly, 2010 sucked. Forget the stupid Tea Party and the Republicans, I had my own shit going on. But on this December 31st I saw a tabloid headline that made me smile a lot. It read: "Sarah Palin's Big Secret, She is a Lesbian."

For me personally 2010 was almost as big a change as was 2009 when I had a cochlear implant, and now hear for these past 21 months. This year in April I had cataract surgery in both eyes and new lenses implanted. For the first time in memory I see without the need for glasses. I still swipe my head to remove them from time to time. Nearly seventy years one can accumulate some quirky habits.

After falling all around in 2009, I did keep my feet in 2010. But I had some general symptoms of the aging process that I do not like. One thing is really good. I think I am hornier than ever. Too bad for my partner of twenth-seven, soon to be twenty-eight years. He has to keep on putting out for me, and I, of course, am thrilled to do the same for him.

Two of my closest friends are now ninety-six. Both men are gay. So maybe longevity is the lot of some of us. I wonder if the president's letter on number 100 is going to be, "Happy Birthday to a Gay Centenarian!"

Whatever is in store, I am ready to look ahead into the future. I am fond of telling others I am living on borrowed time, and God willing, I am ready to borrow quite a few more years. Looking back is so full of things to remember, it is no wonder we have so much trouble remembering things at times. No let's look forward. I wonder what surprises are in store in 2011.

Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

Nearly a month has passed since the day we had to put Old Horney down. It was a Wednesday morning. I was so distraught, and it has been exceedingly tough to not cry every day. He was a dependable and much loved stead, and we were close friends for twenty-two years. He was an Andalusian and had a wonderful temprement.

He loved to be brushed each and every morning after getting his amount of oats and fresh clover hay. This time of touching meant that we became very attached to each other. I would liken it to being lovers. We knew and trusted each other well. I loved our years together and will always miss him terribly.

All together he was 26 years old. Together we rode one mountain trail or another on thousands of occasions. His love of adventure matched mine, and together those were mostly times of sweet solitude. He seemed to love to have me talk to him. The good news to my knowledge he never told another my personal secrets. What I said when with Old Horney, stayed with him.

We also read each other like an old familiar book. He always seemed to know if I was having sexual thoughts. In response he would not uncommonly get randy himself. Part of it that I never fully understood, he always seemed to want to lick the fly of my jeans causing me to spring a woody and show his own prodigeous cock. Was my horse gay? Or was he simply horny too?

Finally, a secret of mine. I loved to ride him bareback (not sexual or without a condom) but without a saddle, and he always seemed to like that as well, and mostly wanted to run with me on his back. My partner suggests that maybe he was ashamed of my nakedness. My memories are so precious. It is hard to believe he could really be gone. But I am so grateful for his twenty-two years of friendship. I miss him terribly. Yes I did have him cremated, and his cremains are where I can visit each and every day.
Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

One old saying I never much liked, but it was a sobering thought. It is nothing is certain in life but death and taxes. Actually, I am learning that it is the unexpected deaths that catch me up short. The ones that hurt the most are those of children, especially those I have known well.

Living into this present time, I am having a lot of lessons. Could it be that God sees me as a sort of slow learner, or is it that the lessons are now more certain, for I am standing always closer to the end of life than its beginnings. In a way that is true for all of us. One thing that keeps me smiling, is that my libido is just as strong as ever. My desire and appreciation for deep and passionate love making is just as deep now as it ever has been. I hope that good news cheers you a bit to read it as it does me to be able to say it.

Chin up fellow JUBBERS, life is for living. You live it well, and my wish is some happiness for all of you.
Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

About sixty days ago, I learned again, that when life serves you lemons, you better know how to make lemon aide. It was not an easy lesson. On Tuesday November 22nd, I was on my way to see my doctor for an appointment, routine it was to be.
So I did what I always do in the morning, I went shopping for a couple of newspapers, and on that morning, it would help me while waiting for my appointment in the doctor's office.

It was two days before Thanksgiving, and I had to park about thirty-five spaces from a front door. I walked my usual cautious way toward the door. Even though I saw a driver on a cell phone sitting in the driver seat of a car, I decided it was safe to walk behind that vehicle. The instant I set my foot down in back of the rear bumper, the ignition came on and the car was put in reverse gear as the white lights indicated. The motion rammed into my right thigh, and I was slammed to the ground. Mercifully I screamed LOUDLY, "NO!" It was enough to cause the driver to stop.

I struggled to drag my body out of harms way, and the driver noticed me, and with the cell phone still in hand called back to me an observation, "I did not see you." Then with tactic concern asked, "Are you OK?"

Stupidly, I said in response, "I think I am." With that it must have been a sound of dismissal, for away the driver drove, not even stopping to assist me to my feet or to call 911. If the driver had backed over my body and legs, I would have died right there in the market parking lot. I really wanted to survive, but I learned a lesson that day.

No I did not get a licence plate number. No I did not get the driver's name, address, phone and insurance information. What I got was a message about a more direct response for me, if it would ever happen again. I will say, "Call 911, and stop and help me up."

Two months later, with no broken bones, I am finally feeling a lot better and the pain is gone. Yes we looked at parking lot videos with the stores management. Yes, no one has ever checked back with the store. I am fortunate, and I promise it is important to learn from every experience, even near death experiences.

My partner has said that I have nine lives. To my knowledge, I can count about three that I know about. Enough is enough. I will try to do better. Yes, I will try to make lemon aide.
Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

Last November, I was walking behind a parked car in a market parking lot. Just as I stepped behind the driver who was in an animated session on a cell phone, the said driver started the car and instantly started to back up. I was bumped to the ground with a bruise on my right thigh.

On the way to the ground I yelled "NO!" at the top of my lungs, and mercifully the driver was able to stop the car. Now if you thought this driver was going to turn off the car, help me to my feet and get me assistance, you are incorrect. Instead, while still in conversation on a cell phone, the said driver, looked back, and in what I interpreted as an accusatory tone, announced sharply, "I did not see you!" Then without a pause asked, "Are you OK?"

My response, in my opinion which was patently stupid, was to say, "I believe I am OK." Then before I could get a license plate number and state, or driver information, the said driver, left the scene making this a hit and run. Sadly, the store videos were no help. For six weeks I was hurt and hobbled. Then my doctor happened onto a prescription for a diuretic. It helped and I am much better.

Nothing was apparently fractured. My pains are now behind me in time. But my unease about walking in any parking lot is near the paranoid level. I walk between the front end of the cars when possible. I have lost a considerable amount of self confidence.

Just when things go well for a while, along comes another event like this one, and as always, it is important to learn from such experiences. Two things come to mind. I have learned caution with focus in the moment. And I have learned that should anyone ask me such an important question in the future, I want them to call 911 on their cell phone, so police have the much needed information. Also, I pray for safety in unfamiliar as well as most familiar circumstances.

I will come through this, and I am glad to be doing as well as I am.
Bumped and Bruised Shep+