Should I ask the German guy out?

[looseliam]

Life is too short to fill it with "what ifs." Ask him out and see what happens. YOu've nothing to lose.

 

[3676747]

I think it's 'wise' to hope something might happen. Try your luck and see what happens. It could be that nothing happens, it could be that you have a fleeting romance in Germany which was great whilst it lasted, or it could become something more. Don't ponder what you might do in the future - decide when it becomes an issue. If you fall madly in love then something will, I'm sure, come up to make it work out

Good luck with your German boy!

 

[looseliam]

Whether is is wise or not isn't for me to say - I'm not that wise. You could have 10-12 amazing months before you leave.

For the sake of argument, let us say that in a year's time it seems you are able to stay. Then what? What happens if you missed your chance?

Oh, and it's never too late to learn German

 

[Ganoderma]

hi Markusburg,

Welcome to JUB and feel free to ask any question over here. I hope you like your study and I also hope you like your stay in Germany.

I am living in The Netherlands, but I tend to think that quite alot of German guys are more or less able to talk more or less well English.

So how do you know that this sweet German guy is a gay? How often do you see him, and is he aware of who you are?

I would just try to make more contact with him. Just see how he reacts on you, and if he also likes to talk with you. Many people like to have some contacts with foreign students. Are there also gay clubs in your city?

So I would not bother too much that you are just for a limited time living in Germany. Try to make some contacts with him. Any idea if he has a partner or not?

I am sure there will also be other gay students at your university. Is there any sort of gay club at your university?

Best wishes & feel free to react.

 

[Seasoned]

Welcome. Why not find an opportunity to meet him to find out more about him? Planning outcomes, especially romantic ones, keeps us in emotional fantasy and causes us to be detached from life. Safe risk taking is my preferred method of living my life.

 

[Ganoderma]

Hello Ganoderma, I have no idea whether he is gay or not, or whether he has a partner, like I said, I don't even know his name.
Of course there are other gay students in the university, but who cares? All I want is this sweet guy. There is no gay club here, but most people here are nice, and it feels good when kids saying hello in Chinese to you. I had been in his studio just once, to take a photo. For a few times I walked downtown instead of taking a bus, just to pass by his studio. How pathetic! You are right, I should at least know his name, and let him know there is a Chinese guy who is totaly into him.

hi Markusburg,

Thanks for your nice and friendly reply. I agree with the advice of Seasoned that you should try to find out more about this German guy.

I mean, it has no sense to keep dreaming about a guy who turns out to be straight, partnered or has no interest in you, or whatever.

So I think you should start doing 'something' and I tend to think you should do this soon.

Otherwise, I tend to think that you might better try to make some gay friends at the uni (or elsewhere)? For sure, there will be German born guys who would like to become friends with you. So why not give them a chance that they can meet you, and become friends with you?

There are alot of Chinese students in my hometown as well.

I would like to wish you all the best.

Take care.

 

[Ozymandias]

Crushes on strangers... we've all been there.
Your story kinda reminds me of myself, I would get crushes on straight friends at uni and let life pass me by...

I have to agree with the above posters:
a) try to get to know him more AND FIND OUT if he's gay/bi... the "how to" is difficult, maybe buy some stuff at his store when he's there and mention things about yourself in the conversation? If he picks up on it, that's a start... and
b) make gay friends. You can do a) and b) at the same time and if the photo guy turns out to be straight / not interested, you'll have other people on standby, so to speak

As for the future, if you meet someone great in Germany, maybe you'll want to stay? A relationship is a powerful motivator to work on those things. Maybe you've seen on the news that German companies are complaining about a lack of skilled workers? If you're studying engineering or something, it could be quite easy to find a job... but then you'd have to learn German. Btw, Mark Twain spoke very good German And they say a language is best learnt "on the pillow"...

 

[Corny]

Hey there,

as others already have said .. you should get to know the guy first. You are planning five steps ahead

He will most likely understand English and chances are good that he also speaks a decent English. However, a Chinese accent can be difficult for Germans who encounter it before. So if you have any troubles, just talk slowly and check your pronunciation

And if I may ask .. in which city/university are you? It's difficult to imagine that you're in an university city without any kind of gay scene

 

[Corny]

unless you mean Magdeburg, I wouldn't know which other city there has an university. Or is it just something private or a Fachhochschule? Anyway, Leipzig does have a gay scene and quite certainly a gay students club.

http://www.szene-sachsen.net/staks.htm
http://www.gaymagdeburg.de/

You'll find even more in Dresden (lovely city!)