Should I be worried?

[cherrybomb]

I stayed over at the guy i've been seeing for 4 months last night.
He was on msn talking to one of his gay friends and when he was outta the room i had a scroll through the convo.

The guy who I'm seeing said something like "I've got a thing for guys in the 30-40's lately it's weird"
And his friend was like "does bradley know lol" to which he replied with "no".

We're both 22.
It didn't really progress any further than that so I don't know if I'm reading too much into it.
But the fact that we're still not 'official' yet and taking things slow (hanging out couple times a week) kinda makes me think in the back of my head "is he waiting for someone better to come along".


Also, last night during sex (our sex is pretty much just hand jobs and oral) i couldn't cum!
It was like the first time i haven't been able to come with him.
We tried for agess but nothing worked.
I hadn't masturbated that day so I don't know what it was..stress?

 

[thisisinteresting]

Sometimes you just can't get off. It happens. Nothing to worry about.

I think the worry should be that you are scrolling through his private chats when he is out of the room. Trust issues. Not good.

He merely said that he has found himself attracted to a type of guy that previously did not attract him. There's nothing wrong or indecent about noticing or even pointing something out like that. Just because you are with someone doesn't stop you from finding a random guy attractive.

 

[Nomenclature]

It depends; I know that over my years of porn watching and fantasizing, i've found that what turns me on has completely changed over time. One day, something can gross me out. . .and then the next I can find a pic or video that makes it look hot to me. And yes, I did like to talk about this with people I thought would understand, or also be into what my fantasy-of-the-week was.


So, if he just finds that he's turned on by something new - older guys - that's really nothing to worry about. . .unless you find that he's actually talking to older guys in the area, and is making plans to hang out with them. THEN you should worry.


Fantasy = okay. real life = not okay.

 

[evanrick]

it sounds like you are over analyzing stuff and worrying unnecessarily. i dont know what advice to give but u shouldnt be violating him like that. imagine if he was listening to a phone call you had with an ex or something of that nature. would you be ok with that?

 

[racer2438]

Sounds as if your are reading to much into it, and your are being to much of a SNOOP.

Nothing worse than a cheater and or a snoop in a relationship.

 

[Seasoned]

You have a piece of information that you can't share because the conversation would be all about how you got that information. Is this just the latest reason to doubt his committment to you?

You've been seeing him for 4 months. What are you doing while he chats? That sounds like something two old married husbands do, namely my partner and me.

Is he hooking up with other guys? I think for something that been going on for 4 months that there is too much serious doubt on your part. Keep your eyes open and don't settle. You deserve at least as much as you are giving. PM me if you want some advice on ltr. Twenty-seven years and counting here.

 

[G-Lexington]

If I had to guess - and that's all it is...

1. I sometimes have random sexual "urges" for periods of time, some of which my partner is able to fulfill (sex outside) and some which he isn't (group sex). I don't keep him up-to-date on these, because I recognize them as periodic, and I don't want him to think "I now want to have sex in groups only, and am no longer interested in you". Sounds like your guy currently has a thing for older guys. And he didn't want to tell you because you might think he doesn't like you anymore. Which, of course, is what you think now that you know.

2. I'm betting you couldn't cum because you were too worked up over this observation. (You don't say whether or not you had sex before or after the discovery, but I'm guessing after.) It kept nagging at you, which was enough to keep you from reaching orgasm.

So what would I suggest?

1. Stop snooping. Seriously. It never leads to anything good.

2. Relax. Your guy's a guy. You'll never be able to fulfill absolutely every one of his sexual fantasies. That's just the way guys are. And luckily, most guy recognize them for what they are - fantasies - and don't instantly ditch the guy they're with just because they decided sex with a robot sounded really hot.

3. Sex is a journey, not a destination. Yes, orgasms kick ass. But everything lead up to them is pretty damned neat, too. As you get older, not-cumming will probably become somewhat more common. When it does, treat it like it's no big deal, because it isn't. Just shrug it off. "Looks like I'm not finishing tonight." Then make sure your partner has a great orgasm.

Lex

 

[josher]

There are many fantasies that turn me on, that I'd never consider re-creating in real life.

And, if he was chatting online and left the chat on the screen with you were sitting there, he obviously wasn't too concerned that you might see it. However that doesn't give you the right to pry.

 

[Halifaxboy8]

I would verify his age - he may not be 22....

Bradley needs to be told.

Other than that don't worry.

I don't see the relevance in age verification here.

You are both young, and you both haven't matured in any sense of the word. Your tastes in everything are going to change, including men. Your friend is just realising that he has an interest in older guys. Your personal likes and dislikes are going to shift too.

You see it as a worrisome..violation?..of whatever it is you have between you right now. You feel threatened that because he told this chat buddy he likes a different age group it means that he doesn't really like you and that you are going to be dumped for a 30-40 guy soon.

We all have images and "types" that get us off. I bet that even though you like this guy and have been sharing the last few months with him, you look around and see other guys as being sttractive to you as well. Does that mean you are going to dump your friend and hop onto the next hot thing that walks by?

At the end of the day, you violated your friend's privacy and got a piece of information that, really, doesn't mean all that much. He was sharing something with his MSN bud, kinda like you are sharing stuff here. Your personal insecurity made you look at his private chat log, and now that same insecurity, fed by, well, not much, is eating you up. Its really not a "Him" thing, its a "You" issue. You have trust issues and perhaps you should look at that.