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Should I bring my bf to my straight boss' wedding?

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BiGuy8705

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Just got off the phone with my boss, his wedding is coming up much sooner than I thought. He asked if I was bringing a date, and said "who will be the lucky guy? I heard you're a pimp" lmao.

A little background information... I have only been really hanging out with gay guys and that kind of thing since January, although I've always knew I was into guys, I didn't act on it until then.
I am completely closeted. I went to a gay club with someone I met over Myspace two months ago. In the 50 feet we walked from the car to the (straight) bar we were stopping at before the club, my friend happens to drive by. I guess the guy I was with looked pretty gay, as I was instantly outted to my friend, who was really cool about it.
This friend must have told his brother, who is my boss. My boss also seems pretty cool about it, he said "you know you can talk to me about whatever, its cool..." but I do not talk about anything of the sort, or really admit my sexuality to him.
Since then, I have found an amazing bf.

So, now the wedding is coming up in a couple of weeks. Now, we don't look flaming or anything like that, and I really don't think anyone would know he's my bf. But, I've never been to a wedding, and a middle eastern wedding cermony at that, so I really have no idea if it would be appropriate to ask the bf to come or not. Is it really strange to see two guys walk in together, like, will people stare us down like "wtf"?

I will be leaving the company and the state to go away to school in August (where the bf goes), and don't really care too much what any of these people think anymore... although they are the kind of people that love to talk.
 
Your boss seems OK with it. Even encouraging it.

Go ahead, have a great time. Be gay and love it!
 
If your boss is cool with it and you don't care what the others think, why wouldn't you ask your bf to go with you? Since you're leaving the job soon, it could be a good experience of being a gay couple in public without the fear of any negative side effects. Then, as your sense of comfort grows, you can go out together more frequently as time goes on.
 
Hmm, I guess I really have to think it over on my end. I think the reason I'm somewhat worried is that even though I was basically outted, I haven't really went out of my way to confirm that I am or am not into guys. I'm not sure if this will have any negative reactions, as far as my friend or my boss pointing out to everyone we're dating now or whatever, now that they've seen it with their own eyes... but I truely am happy in the direction we're moving so I guess it doesn't matter very much.

I guess what this topic should focus on then is more what is acceptable at a straight wedding. It will be medium size, and I know they are flying A LOT of relatives from their home country here... a lot of them won't even speak English. Some customers from work may be in attendance. I think all Ihave to make sure is that my friend won't be inviting any of our other friends that don't yet know about my situation.
 
The answer really depends on your boyfriends attitude towards being out. If he is as closeted as you were then the answer is 'no'. On the other hand, since you're leaving the company and the state it's an ideal opportunity to be more open without having to worry about repercussions.

The wedding day is not about you and your boyfriend. Hopefully everyone will be focussing on the bride and groom and who came with whom should be irrelevant. If you're at all anxious then you should take the opportunity to introduce your partner to your boss before the wedding day. Since he has already implied in his phonecall that he knows you're gay it shouldn't be abig deal for him. That way he has a valid reason for attending other than his relationship with you.

If you're attending the reception as well as the ceremony just be careful not to get too loose. Drunkeness makes us reckless, but after the stress of the ceremony is over it will also make bigots more volatile.

By the way - I wish more people understood the use of 'bring' and 'take' - it's a shame to see this useful distinction being lost. Something is taken 'to' a place and brought 'from' a place.
 
Thing is, most people - even the people who really aren't pleased - will probably bite their tongues. It's not their place to speak up. If they do, if they make trouble about it at someone else's wedding, they'll look like pricks. It's already clear that your boss is happy with you.

I guess it may be wise to not respond to any snide comments, or quietly respond with something like "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way." And then leave it at that. I wouldn't advise... I dunno, massive snogfests in public?

Or you may wish to avoid the hassle, and just go on your own. I'm sure your boyfriend would understand; after all, it's a bit of an unknown situation, with a wedding from another culture.
 
Thanks for the posts! Just a quick note that there will be no alcohol present b/c of their culture... so I really have nooo idea what to expect. If I do TAKE him to the wedding, I think it is def a good idea to introduce him to my boss beforehand. He is just as closeted as me... but I think we both kind of don't care what random people think, but don't want any of our friends or family to find out. I'm not sure if he would even be interested in going, but the conversation with my boss was pretty random and it got me thinking. lol. Keep the posts comming!
 
Of course you should take him...
And treat him with the same dignity and respect that you would treat a female date..
You have nothing to be ashamed of...Enjoy the wedding!!

(!) (!) (!) (!) (!)
 
In my opinion, and this is what i would do, i would not take him along. Reason being not that because you are ashame of being gay, or your bf, but because it would be like you are coming out to everyone at the wedding. I have a hard enough time coming out to a single person, now just imagine coming out to a whole bunch of people u might or might not know. You are lucky your boss is so homo-friendly, but others might not be and u could be hurt emotionally if it doesnt all go as planned.
 
Go for it! - it seems he's cool with it - wether you're 'flaming' or not!
 
ohhh! your boss is so charming!!! you should bring your bf to your boss' wedding!
 
Stop analyzing it to death. If you want to have him with you and he would like to go, then by all means, go together.
It might be a good step in helping you feel more comfortable with yourself.

Relax and have some fun (or as fun as a wedding can be).
 
Of course bring your boyfriend. I think you will find 99.99% of the guests' attention are on the bride and groom. My partner and I have been to a number of straight weddings and had a great time. If you are concerned about appearances, you can tailor your introducing your boyfriend to the person. Younger people won't care that you're gay. If you are talking to someone more tradition al or from the older generation, you can jusr say he is your friend. No big deal, the party goes on. The biggest issue was being encouraged to join in catching the garter and us declining, since we're neither single nor straight nor at all interested in a garter.
 
I think you should DEFINITELY bring your bf to your boss's wedding. Like the previous responses said, it's your boss's wedding and you have HIS permission and blessing to bring a guy as your date. If his guests have a problem with that, let them act out as idiots. You're both there to celebrate your boss's wedding, not strangers' approval.

I actually went to a quinceañera this weekend with the guy i'm dating. The girl's mother even asked my date if he was bringing me along and made sure that I had a seat with him at the table.
 
I'm with everyone else... Go!

You have your boss' blessing and encouragement. As to what is appropriate or not? Just use common sense and what herenthere has already said...

herenthere said:
Of course you should take him...
And treat him with the same dignity and respect that you would treat a female date..
You have nothing to be ashamed of...Enjoy the wedding!!

(!) (!) (!) (!) (!)
Click to expand...

I hope you have a great time and please let us know how it went!
 
Your boss has already answered your question so go with it. Just because you go with a guy doesn't mean you have to run up the rainbow flag or anything, be yourselves and have a great time. If memory serves me correctly I think middle eastern some dance involves boy on boy dancing. So you wont be out of your comfort zone will you :lol:
 
If your boss is okay with it, and approved you rbinging your partner, then you're in the clear. It's his event (well, his and his wife's) and he invited the two of you, so you have a place there.
 
Your boss obviosuly wants him there.. so bring him.

what's the problem again?
 
Well my boss doesn't necessarily want him there, but he did seem cool about bringing up the whole taking a guy thing... I'm not sure if he knows I have a bf or not.

Anyway, the more I think about it the more comfortable I am with the situation of taking him. I'll just ask the bf and see if he wants to go!
 
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