Should I come out to him?

[josher]

You're 24? What are you waiting for?

It seems as if your mother and sister aren't bothered by gay people.

What is it about coming out that scares you?

And as to your friend: why not just congratulate him on his engagement? If he wants further contact, he'll get in touch.

 

[GL]

is there any reason as to why you want to tell him that you're gay? don't get me wrong, i'm all for telling folks but by your own admission you've not spoken to him in some time.

as you do want to get in touch, send him a friendly note or as josher suggested congratulate him on his engagement and just leave it at that.

if he chooses to contact you then somewhere along the way you can talk to him about your being gay.

 

[josher]

Thanks for the advice josher.

Well, actually I think my mother and other family members ARE bothered by gay people. My mothers response to him being engaged to a guy wasn't like: "oh isn't that good for him" it was more like: "OMG thats crazy!" And also I know my sister and her husband are kinda anti gay. He (my brother in law) once had a boss who was gay and I won't get into the messy details but he was uncomfortable with it and ended up quitting and moving to another town. So I guess that is where my fear of coming out to my family comes from.

Well, that's a different matter, but I still think, no matter what the reaction, at your age, it's better to let them know.

What happens if you enter into a relationship? It's only my opinion, but I never would have a partner and then tell him he has to stay a secret or pretend he's just a friend.

I believe that the great majority of parents and siblings come around to being supportive eventually (if not immediately.)

And I also believe most immediate family members, particularly mothers, pretty much know before they're told, even though they may be in denial about it.

Whatever you decide, good luck to you. And be proud that you're gay! You sound like a great guy.

 

[martin6]

is there any reason as to why you want to tell him that you're gay? don't get me wrong, i'm all for telling folks but by your own admission you've not spoken to him in some time.

as you do want to get in touch, send him a friendly note or as josher suggested congratulate him on his engagement and just leave it at that.

if he chooses to contact you then somewhere along the way you can talk to him about your being gay.

GL has said EXACTLY, almost word-for-word, what I was gonna tell you. So that's that!

 

[martin6]

And be proud that you're gay! You sound like a great guy.

Oh, he IS!!!!!

 

[josher]

^^Well, you could apologize for puking in his parents' car.

Just joking.

 

[Croynan]

Thanks GL and josher again for your advice. And Martin6...I think you are one of the sweetest/cutest guys on JUB.

So yea, I think just congratulating him in the first message will be good. If he sends a reply then great, if not then he must not care to talk anymore. I'll let you guys know what happens...oh wait, is there anything else I should say to him?

what a nice positing you have made here - as was/is your first posting. well done.​

eM.​

 

[Croynan]

deleted/error.eM.

 

[Art1eJ]

Telling him your gay is that so he might wanna get with you or just so he knows and might wanna chat because of that, just send a message saying how ya going, wanna catch up dont say im gay chat to me