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Should I get involved with my friend's "relationship"?

Appleman34

Appleman34

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About 6 months ago, my friend told me about a girl that he's been talking to. I searched her on Facebook and I saw that this girl had a boyfriend. When I told him about it, he said something like... "I know, but they're about to break up. He doesn't treat her right." I thought... okay, whatever. Do what you want.

Ever since then he's been talking about how much he likes this girl and she's his new bestfriend and everything. He even told me about her giving him blowjobs and a bunch of other sex related things that I don't remember. I keep telling him.. "She has a boyfriend.. you should leave this girl alone. Or at least keep it friendly." At the time he usually agrees, but then a few weeks later he tells me again about how this hoe sucked his dick again or something like that.... So again, i thought... okay... do what you want.

It's getting out of hand now. SHE asks HIM for relationship advice with her boyfriend... and he has NO problem giving her advice and helping her out. Just recently he told me that he was texting her boyfriend from her phone, pretending to be her, to settle an argument that she and her boyfriend had. (There are so many fucked up things he's done for her. He's basically her little bitch, but I wont get into that.) And after about 6 months of this, he STILL thinks she's going to break up with her boyfriend and end up with him.

Now... I can be a very opinionated and judgmental person... I've been working on that. My first instinct tells me to tell my friend everything he's doing wrong, tell the hoe why she's a hoe, and then tell the boyfriend about everything. Then on the other hand, I think.... this is his business and I'll let him make his own mistakes. He doesn't judge me with the mistakes I've made, so I figured I'd owe him the same.

Should I say anything to him about it? I mean I've talked to him, but I've been really passive about it. Overall, I just think my friend deserves way better than this girl. If they did end up together, this would be his first girlfriend, so I think he's settling with what he can get and doesn't really care.
 
Basically and bluntly, it's none of your business. It's impossible to protect someone who doesn't think he needs protection. Besides letting him know that you're concerned there's nothing you can say that's going to dissuade him. Don't call her names when speaking to him about her. That could bite you in the ass.
 
I am like you, so I know how easy it is to go too far in "knowing better". That said, if there is no other side to this story - if you know there is no other side to it - you should tell him in no uncertain terms how it looks from the outside. And no more. Be blunt, direct, not offensive, but brutally honest. Not attacking her, but describing how the situation looks. You should NOT go for her, or her bf. Whatever their situation is, is none of your business, your only responsibility is your friend, and that's only a symbolic responsibility. Ultimately, this is as far as you should go, and yes, it is pretty invasive, and technically not your business. But if I were you, this is what I'd do. And then it's up to him.
 
Your friend sounds like a jerk...pretending to be her while testing her boyfriend is really quite an asshole move, imo. That's probably why he gets along so well with this girl...she's quite the piece of work herself. Cheaters deserve each other and whatever comes their way.

As for you...if you still really want to be this guy's friend, then I'd tell him that he is better than this and deserves better than being with that cheater. Then tell him that's all you have to say on the subject and for him to keep his personal life with her to himself from now on.
 
I think it would be best to remain silent in this situation.
 
I'm really not an authority on any of this but here is what I think.
I think you should let your friend carry on with what he is doing, he doesn't want any help or advice on this and seems like he will carry on, regardless of what you say to him. If you want to remain friends with your friend I wouldn't tell "The hoe" or her boyfriend. I feel like that could come back and bite you in the ass. Just let him do what he wants and be there for him if it falls apart.
 
You can't talk him out of it. It sounds like he has a low self esteem and is willing to take what he gets. Being the other guy probably boosts his ego.

I think what you should be asking yourself is when she does this to him, and he's on the receiving end, are you still going to be there for him when he's crying to you about it? It would be tempting to be cold and say "I told you so".
 
Some things are better left unsaid ... You should probably just let him learn his lesson .
 
Zaso87 said:
Some things are better left unsaid ... You should probably just let him learn his lesson .
Click to expand...

Also I wouldn't keep getting into it with him cause it could backfire on you and then you would lose this friend you are trying to protect
 
I have this one friend who is way too involved with everyone else's relationship. It is very,very annoying. She doesn't know she to stop. She is the usually at the bottom of every relationship demise within our grouo of friends. My advice, if you value your friendship let him figure it out. It isn't your business. I'll say to you what I say to her, just be there for your friend when it is all said and done. That's what a real friend does :)
 
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