Should I give my best friend a handjob?

[Body123]

My best friend and I have known each other for over five years. We met in the military and both recently got out. He moved across the country to come stay with me and help himself build a career in my state. We have since both gotten separate places but we still see each other regularly and now even more than ever. I told him awhile ago that I was sexually open and that I have had sex with both guys and girls. He understood and told me we were friends no matter what and hasn't treated me any differently since. We don't talk about it much but last night I showed him a picture of a male celebrity I saw on a "dating-sex" app and he played cool with it but I could tell he got quiet for a while like he was processing it and then everything went back to normal.

Up until recently I've never thought about him sexually even though he is a good looking guy and I was happy just being his best friend. One day we were both sitting on the couch watching a movie and I saw him patting his "chubby" through his shorts. It was huge and even though I've seen his dick before (bootcamp showers) I never knew it was so big and now every time he sits next to me "adjusting" himself I can't stop thinking about it.

He currently doesn't have a gf and he's pretty shy which is why we mostly hangout all the time. I truly believe he's straight and I've have heard him say one or two homophobic things in the past but never at me and I know it's because of his masculine upbringing. On the other hand he wears ripped skinny jeans and he's not afraid to comment on a guy's looks if he thinks he's good-looking or attractive. He's the best friend that I've ever had and knowing that he accepts me for me makes me love him even more. I never want to do anything that would jeopardize that ever and even if he wanted to I wouldn't take it past giving him a hj maybe a bj, if he wanted. I just don't know if I should even ask him or hope that this urge to fool around with him eventually goes away.

Has anyone else experienced this? Does sharing a sexual moment like that bring friends closer together or drive them further apart?

 

[seven2go]

My advice, for what it's worth, is continue to drop hints and leave it at that.
Let him make the deciding move.

 

[MoaningMike]

I've been there, most guys have, it's almost inevitable friends will be attracted (even if it's one sided). Five years is a long time to get to know someone, so you should have some instinct about him. Never telling him how you feel might drive you mental, but risking losing him as a friend is not a good option either.
He might have a feeling you feel this way. Asking him if he wants a hand or blow job out of the blue is not a good idea. Make sure alcohol or drugs aren't involved, you want a clear headed answer. Just tell him you're attracted without being aggressive. He might feel the same way. And if he isn't interested, a good friend will be understanding and still want to be friends.
When I was in high school I had a massive crush on my best friend, he was obviously straight, but I couldn't help it. We got stoned one night when he stayed over my house and I asked if I could blow him. He asked me to wait until he fell asleep, which I did. I was looking forward to finallly seeing his dick, and getting it hard I my mouth. When I reached under his blanket my hand found his undies straining to hold a HUGE boner, leaking tons of precut. It must've been over 8" and had a perfect mushroom head. Dark blonde pubes, big hairy balls, very thick shaft. Blowing him was a dream cum true. He blasted a load that seemed endless and I sucked down every drop. The only thing missing was any affection. He pretended to sleep the whole time. The next day he never mentioned it, and I got the feeling i should'nt either. He stopped hanging out with me and ignored me at school. It hurt me badly, but I also still jerk off thinking about his tasty tool!

 

[medic1]

A best friend should last a lifetime, a handjob lasts minutes. Many gay guys have crushes on their best straight mates. Ask yourself how you would feel if he not only turned you down, but stopped hanging with you.

This is a very plausible scenario, and one that i am sure would leave you heartbroken at the loss of such a close friendship. You have known the guy for 5 years, in that time have you ever picked up any "gay vibes" from him?

It is great that he seems fine with your admission to being attracted to men as well as woman, but i would caution you not to read too much into this. He is doing what a best mate does, not judging you in your choices.

Is it worth losing such a great mate over a sexual overture?

 

[Eagle653]

A best friend should last a lifetime, a handjob lasts minutes. Many gay guys have crushes on their best straight mates. Ask yourself how you would feel if he not only turned you down, but stopped hanging with you.

This is a very plausible scenario, and one that i am sure would leave you heartbroken at the loss of such a close friendship. You have known the guy for 5 years, in that time have you ever picked up any "gay vibes" from him?

It is great that he seems fine with your admission to being attracted to men as well as woman, but i would caution you not to read too much into this. He is doing what a best mate does, not judging you in your choices.

Is it worth losing such a great mate over a sexual overture?

I would echo this word for word. Medic is exactly right. You are playing with fire, potentially and your friendship could be at risk. In every friendship, there are certain ground rules, many of which are unspoken. One ground rule, when at least one of the two identify as straight, is that there's no sex, nor sexual tension. So far, you two have lived up to that--which was probably easy for him if he's straight. It can be frustrating for you, if you want more. Trying to move the relationship to incorporate a physical element can be very tricky, and probably won't be successful. The likely scenario is that he declines, tries to pretend nothing happened, becomes uncomfortable with the now sexual tension in the relationship, and then pulls away from you. I doubt you'd think that was worth it or take the risk.

 

[Newmercedes]

I've been there, most guys have, it's almost inevitable friends will be attracted (even if it's one sided). Five years is a long time to get to know someone, so you should have some instinct about him. Never telling him how you feel might drive you mental, but risking losing him as a friend is not a good option either.
He might have a feeling you feel this way. Asking him if he wants a hand or blow job out of the blue is not a good idea. Make sure alcohol or drugs aren't involved, you want a clear headed answer. Just tell him you're attracted without being aggressive. He might feel the same way. And if he isn't interested, a good friend will be understanding and still want to be friends.
When I was in high school I had a massive crush on my best friend, he was obviously straight, but I couldn't help it. We got stoned one night when he stayed over my house and I asked if I could blow him. He asked me to wait until he fell asleep, which I did. I was looking forward to finallly seeing his dick, and getting it hard I my mouth. When I reached under his blanket my hand found his undies straining to hold a HUGE boner, leaking tons of precut. It must've been over 8" and had a perfect mushroom head. Dark blonde pubes, big hairy balls, very thick shaft. Blowing him was a dream cum true. He blasted a load that seemed endless and I sucked down every drop. The only thing missing was any affection. He pretended to sleep the whole time. The next day he never mentioned it, and I got the feeling i should'nt either. He stopped hanging out with me and ignored me at school. It hurt me badly, but I also still jerk off thinking about his tasty tool!

Wow very very HOT Story

 

[hjsimp_992]

Do it. Work up some balls, and just come out to him. It could be great fun!

 

[Shaunyh123]

Had a similar experience myself.We were watching porn and the guy stared jerking off.
I simply asked if he need a hand with that jokingly,he looked over and didn't reply.
I just moved over and went straight down on him.
Met again several times socially but it was never mentioned.Drink is a terrible thing

 

[mcbrion]

" I never want to do anything that would jeopardize that ever and even if he wanted to I wouldn't take it past giving him a hj maybe a bj, if he wanted."
You DO realize that this is still SEX, don't you?
When I say you sound young, that is not meant as an insult: it's meant as in, "you lack the life experience to realize what NOT to do." And even talking about "taking it past giving him a hand job" is still saying, "I'd have sex with him."
Listen to your elders and not the youngsters saying, "try it." The only head they're using is the one in their pants. Someone who realizes that having a "best friend" is not something to take lightly would NEVER advise that. You will only find 2 or 3 TRULY good friends in your entire life. Friend who stay no matter how badly you behave, no matter what you do, no matter if you even betray them. Those are extremely rare. If he's your first really, really, good friend, don't do something foolish and wreck it.
Saying "he's shy" is your way of rationalizing that if something is going to happen, it's up to you to initiate it. Have you considered that, even if he DOES initiate it, he may hate himself for it the next day, and vanish from your life?? It's happened to many of us. Jeez, I had sex with someone who also lived in my dorm and who was also gay (Freshmen year in college) and afterwards, avoided him like the plague. AND HE WAS GAY, LIKE ME. He even told me before it happened, "You're going to avoid me afterwards." And I didn't believe him, because I'm not "like that." But avoid him (for a while) I did, until I came to grips with myself, and thought, "Why are you avoiding another gay man here in this all-Black college, in the south when there are so few around. Get your head out of your ass and go apologize. And I did, and after that, everything was okay. (This was 1969, and Black culture is still fucked up about being gay and our culture has BIG problems with homophobia even now in 2017. To say they were homophobic in 1969 is an understatement. Fortunately, I was always a well-built guy, and so people didn't confront me directly.) But you say he's straight. When you're young, you do things that, when you're older (well past 30, from what I've observed) , you realize "Uh, uh, this is NOT a good idea."

Leave it alone, man. You've got a friend. Friends are harder to come by than lovers. Almost any gay man will tell you that. And even some straight ones.

 

[dd788snipe]

" I never want to do anything that would jeopardize that ever and even if he wanted to I wouldn't take it past giving him a hj maybe a bj, if he wanted."
You DO realize that this is still SEX, don't you?
When I say you sound young, that is not meant as an insult: it's meant as in, "you lack the life experience to realize what NOT to do." And even talking about "taking it past giving him a hand job" is still saying, "I'd have sex with him."
Listen to your elders and not the youngsters saying, "try it." The only head they're using is the one in their pants. Someone who realizes that having a "best friend" is not something to take lightly would NEVER advise that. You will only find 2 or 3 TRULY good friends in your entire life. Friend who stay no matter how badly you behave, no matter what you do, no matter if you even betray them. Those are extremely rare. If he's your first really, really, good friend, don't do something foolish and wreck it.
Saying "he's shy" is your way of rationalizing that if something is going to happen, it's up to you to initiate it. Have you considered that, even if he DOES initiate it, he may hate himself for it the next day, and vanish from your life?? It's happened to many of us. Jeez, I had sex with someone who also lived in my dorm and who was also gay (Freshmen year in college) and afterwards, avoided him like the plague. AND HE WAS GAY, LIKE ME. He even told me before it happened, "You're going to avoid me afterwards." And I didn't believe him, because I'm not "like that." But avoid him (for a while) I did, until I came to grips with myself, and thought, "Why are you avoiding another gay man here in this all-Black college, in the south when there are so few around. Get your head out of your ass and go apologize. And I did, and after that, everything was okay. (This was 1969, and Black culture is still fucked up about being gay and our culture has BIG problems with homophobia even now in 2017. To say they were homophobic in 1969 is an understatement. Fortunately, I was always a well-built guy, and so people didn't confront me directly.) But you say he's straight. When you're young, you do things that, when you're older (well past 30, from what I've observed) , you realize "Uh, uh, this is NOT a good idea."

Leave it alone, man. You've got a friend. Friends are harder to come by than lovers. Almost any gay man will tell you that. And even some straight ones.

Dittos.
I know from first hand experience. I've lost my best friend of 40 years and it's killing me. We became fuck buddies about 3 years ago. It's started easily enough. We were watching porn one night on his boat. I noticed him massaging the huge bulge in his pants and my cock was hard too. I casually said lets whip those puppies out and to my suprise he did and so did I and we started jacking off together. I couldn't take my eyes off his huge cock that was uncut 9" and fat. I ask him if he let me help and to my surprise he did. He had to finish himself to completion. It was fantastic.

So we talked and started telling each other about the different guys we'd been with. I had to laugh when he said that some of the hookers in the Phillipines when we were in the Navy wouldn't fuck him because of his size. He related to me how he had been fucking himself with big dildos since he was a kid and had fantasized about being fisted. I told him I had always love fucking myself and had been with a few guys and enjoyed it very much.

So he said if I'd try and fist him he'd fuck me. I didn't know if I could accommodate that monster of his but I was Damn well going to try. The fisting didn't go too well but he enjoyed it for what it was worth. I enjoyed jacking off and sucking on that big cock. So he told me to be ready when he got off work the next night and he'd pound my ass.

Well I was ready and waiting the next night. He ripped off my tight shorts sucked my cock till I was hard and spitting precum then bent me over on the bed. We took it slow and I pulled that monster balls deep into my ass. I think he fucked me in every position possible for over an hour then came on my chest exhausted. It truly was the best sex I'd ever had.

We did that for 2 years. I looked at it as nothing more than FWB. I'm married and still love my wife. So about a year ago he started acting weird when I'd come stay on the boat. It got to the point I that I didn't want to be there. Now remember we'd been best friends for 40 years. Yes I love him but more like my brother from another mother and that's about it. One night he just started verbally attacking me. We'd done some edible pot and I didn't like the high btw. He started telling me over and over how we can't have sex anymore and this person doesn't like me and that person suspected he was fucking me and so on. Look I'm so far in the closet that no one knows. Hell he didn't even suspect me for 40 years. So I'm just dumb founded. His mouth was on cruise control and he wouldn't listen to anything I said so I just clammed up shut it down because I didn't want to make it worse and get in an argument. Needless to say we've only text a few times and he was very abusive.

So moral of the story is don't do it if you want to keep him as a good friend.

Sorry this story was so long. I still feel where we went wrong was we didn't set any boundaries.

Thoughts?? I open for any suggestions but please if your going to judge I'm not interested.

 

[mcbrion]

Dittos.
I know from first hand experience. I've lost my best friend of 40 years and it's killing me. We became fuck buddies about 3 years ago. It's started easily enough. We were watching porn one night on his boat. I noticed him massaging the huge bulge in his pants and my cock was hard too. I casually said lets whip those puppies out and to my suprise he did and so did I and we started jacking off together. I couldn't take my eyes off his huge cock that was uncut 9" and fat. I ask him if he let me help and to my surprise he did. He had to finish himself to completion. It was fantastic.

So we talked and started telling each other about the different guys we'd been with. I had to laugh when he said that some of the hookers in the Phillipines when we were in the Navy wouldn't fuck him because of his size. He related to me how he had been fucking himself with big dildos since he was a kid and had fantasized about being fisted. I told him I had always love fucking myself and had been with a few guys and enjoyed it very much.

So he said if I'd try and fist him he'd fuck me. I didn't know if I could accommodate that monster of his but I was Damn well going to try. The fisting didn't go too well but he enjoyed it for what it was worth. I enjoyed jacking off and sucking on that big cock. So he told me to be ready when he got off work the next night and he'd pound my ass.

Well I was ready and waiting the next night. He ripped off my tight shorts sucked my cock till I was hard and spitting precum then bent me over on the bed. We took it slow and I pulled that monster balls deep into my ass. I think he fucked me in every position possible for over an hour then came on my chest exhausted. It truly was the best sex I'd ever had.

We did that for 2 years. I looked at it as nothing more than FWB. I'm married and still love my wife. So about a year ago he started acting weird when I'd come stay on the boat. It got to the point I that I didn't want to be there. Now remember we'd been best friends for 40 years. Yes I love him but more like my brother from another mother and that's about it. One night he just started verbally attacking me. We'd done some edible pot and I didn't like the high btw. He started telling me over and over how we can't have sex anymore and this person doesn't like me and that person suspected he was fucking me and so on. Look I'm so far in the closet that no one knows. Hell he didn't even suspect me for 40 years. So I'm just dumb founded. His mouth was on cruise control and he wouldn't listen to anything I said so I just clammed up shut it down because I didn't want to make it worse and get in an argument. Needless to say we've only text a few times and he was very abusive.

So moral of the story is don't do it if you want to keep him as a good friend.

Sorry this story was so long. I still feel where we went wrong was we didn't set any boundaries.

Thoughts?? I open for any suggestions but please if your going to judge I'm not interested.

I'm really, really sorry you lost your friend, man. And after 40 years, too. That's half a lifetime for some of us. Sometimes we don't realize how precious something is to us until it all goes south. I hope you can one day mend fences with him. Do you think there's a chance that could happen?

 

[charmedones_p3]

Here another long one for you.

What if? That’s the big question. It’s true we have all been there. After several years me and my best friend don't speak. It’s nothing drastic where we slept to together or something like that it was more of a spot gap, make the bleeding stop sort of thing.
It started when we were just kids, we grew up together. I moved away for six years, sure there was the random visits through out the years, but when I came back for good I was 18. It was as though no time passed. Something was different though, I was, he knew I told him in one of our nightly long conversations that would keep us up way too late. It was never a big deal. Then things started in intensify, these feelings for him started to blossom. We never keep secrets from each other so I told him. He was okay with it; I guess you could say. Oddly nothing changed really. Our relationship grew if that makes sense, quick kiss on the lips, sharing the same bed, prolonged physical contact (the type of contact one would not normally see between two straight males). People that knew both of us through that we were together. We weren’t thought no matter how much it just made sense. At one point though we talked about it and we decided that we didn’t want to ruin our friendship. It was the perfect relationship well the nonsexual kind anyway.

Then she happened. Yea you read that right. His grandparents who he lived with where very religious and well you know how the rest goes. Boy meets girl they get married and the gay best friend is… Where did that leave the gay best friend the exact same place as before he meets this woman. Nothing changed, that’s great right. I thought so but things are not that easy. The Wife, yea she hated my guts. I should have seen it coming from a mile away. The signs where all there looking back I should have seen them. He asked one of my cousins husbands to be his best man at their wedding, in front of me, while playing cards at another of my cousin’s houses. I let it go things where complicated I got that, but when “my invitation” to the wedding got lost in the mail. The bride and her mother sent out the invites. Even that we got through. We were Best Friends for Life, that’s what we told each other. Then one day a couple of years later I just couldn’t do it anymore, being the other “women”. Watching someone else live the life that I wanted, that I deserved.
Any who, what if I told him and we tried to make a go of things and it worked out, he could be lying beside me now. Or what if we tried and failed and I still lost my best friend. In the end the relationship fell apart.

I would love to be able to tell you what you should do to make sure that this works out the way that you want it too but I can't. What I can do is to wish you "Good Luck", i hope everything works out for you.

 

[dd788snipe]

Thank you. Yes that's 2/3s of mine. It might but I'm not going to hold my breath. I've put out the olive branch but haven't heard anything from him. It's a hard lesson learned mcbrion.

 

[Bigdio59]

I'm straight curious 60yrs male. I I personally haven't done it but I don't see why not

 

[ballcaphair]

My best friend is straight and he's known I'm bi since college. I've never come on to him. I know this is going to sound antithetical, I would never come on to him. I love everything about him, the way he moves, the way he smells, I love his outlook and perspective. He gets me too. More than once we've admitted we love each other. He's a huge part of who I am. I often am stunned by my sexual attraction too, but firstly we are each other's safe place. I cherish him.

 

[Shelby29]

My best friend is straight and he's known I'm bi since college. I've never come on to him. I know this is going to sound antithetical, I would never come on to him. I love everything about him, the way he moves, the way he smells, I love his outlook and perspective. He gets me too. More than once we've admitted we love each other. He's a huge part of who I am. I often am stunned by my sexual attraction too, but firstly we are each other's safe place. I cherish him.

Well said.

 

[novastar]

If bes rubbing his hardon in front if you through his pants...hes very open to at least jerking off with you. Put on a porn and see where it goes.

 

[dd788snipe]

Thank you mcbrion.
Well it's not going to happen. I signed off my half of the boat. Cleaned out my state room. Gave him back all the stuff I had stored at my house last weekend. He's dead to me. He told a mutual friend "oh we'll talk again sometime" not going to happen. He went out of his way to hurt me as hard as he could. Why, idk. In all my friendships and relationships in 61 years no one has ever treated me that bad. Even people that didn't like me. It's hard to pick up the pieces and go home. But I've resolved to move on. And the search continues. The sex was fun and I could have put that back in the bottle so to speak but I really miss my best friend and that will be hard to replace. Especially at my age. Good luck.