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Should I go?

Should I go?

  • No, just send flowers with your condolences.

    Votes: 5 11.4%

  • Yes, it's the right thing to do, go in person.

    Votes: 36 81.8%

  • other, please explain below.

    Votes: 3 6.8%
  • Total voters
    44
I think that any time someone feels he should attend a funeral for someone he cared about, he should be supported in that decision.

If you feel you want to go, then you should go. There really shouldn't be any discussion beyond that.

I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. (*8*)
 
Well, I would go and pay my respects and show my support but then again, thats how I was "brought up." It seems like you really care about that family and that you loved your father-in-law so you might regret it if you don't attend the funeral. What will you do though if they ask ya about your relationship? Is Eric a bit upset b/c he can't go with you or does feel like you're going to get hurt? I can't see why he'd have an issue w/ it.
 
I think you should go in person, It's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do.
 
I think you should attend.

Attendance at a funeral is to show respect for the deceased and the living. You were a part of this family.

Your current personal life does not need to be discussed
 
](*,)](*,)

Robert,

well here's my two cents. i think in this case Eric is wrong. it may be bothering him that he is not going with you, but given the circumstances i think it is most appropriate you attend the service if you feel you should.

the service is not the place to make an issue of having a boy friend and i think it would only make the situation more difficult for everyone concerned.

i think in this instance, Eric needs to defer to your wishes about attending the service. you indicated you had a fine relationship with these people so i would think it is most appropriate you attend since it obviously has some meaning and importance to you.

if Eric thinks i am in error, i do apologize. however, i feel that what i have said represents my thoughts on the matter.

eM. michael:(
 
I agree with Scrub. I think you should go. I see nothing wrong with showing respect for the father of the woman you loved.
 
I support whichever option you choose.

There is no doubt these people who were once your family would appreciate your presence. But your own feelings about it should guide you. Would you feel deep regret after it was too late to act upon it?

If circumstances allow, maybe you could go just to the memorial services, and decline a lengthy visit in the home. Just seeing you and receiveing your hugs would be very comforting.

On the other hand, you should think seriously about Eric's feelings and make sure this would not be a roadblock in the development of your ongoing relationship.

Your sensitivity to the situation says some very good things about you.
 
robertac said:
I only want to go to honor a man who I have a great deal respect and love for.

What do you think?
Click to expand...


I think this says it all. You should go. Sending flowers isn't the same as showing love and respect by being there. And you being there will be a great comfort to the family. Take care, whatever you decide. (*8*)
 
evil_danger said:
I think you should go in person, It's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do.
Click to expand...

I entirely agree with evil_danger. We can never re-gain what we didn't do. We can, however, move on from what we've done.

I'm sorry to disagree with Eric! And, I hope that he will realize this is not "related" to "You Two"! It is a big part of Your "former" Life, though. And, therefore, still a part of Your present one going forward.

I would also hope that Eric can understand why it may not be "appropriate" for him to go along. This is, in a way, a "closing" of a previous chapter. It is a good thing to Honor the ones You have cared for, eventhough they do not play a role in Your Life, currently.

Rob ... I believe this funeral is something that not only You should do, but also something You may "need" to do. It will help being a little more closure to Your "Before".

Eric ... I hope You may change Your mind, and support Rob's going during this time. It will help "Your Guy" become more "complete".

I trust my rambling is making, at least, a little bit of sense. This is not something that is all that easy to put into words. You already know that I do LOVE You, Both!

Of course, no matter what, and I do mean this Most Sincerely ...

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
Just because you haven't seen them in several years does not mean they aren't still family to you, and look upon you as part of their family.

By all means, go. And, alone. This is a time to be with them and honor and pay respects to your former father-in-law. You'll regret it if you don't.

Travel safe.

(*8*)
 
You lost your wife to death, not divorce. There is no bitterness between you and you feel affection and respect for him and the family. The funeral is about the family and their grieving their loss, not about your current situation.
Should it come up, I wouldn't lie, but I would go because it says to them that your father-in-law had your love and respect in life and death.

You have often said that you loved your wife, even with your inner struggles. She would want you to be there, I'm sure.
 
I don't think they'd be upset if you sent flowers. But for your own closure it sounds like you should go.

He was a part of your life for a long time and I'm sorry for the loss. (*8*)
 
Go. If you don't you will forever regret not going. I'm sure you offered mutual support when your wife died. It sounds like the marriage was a part of your life you feel good about. You should be there. This is not the time to bring up the gay issue.
 
Out of respect for the man and your former family Robert. You have to go. I'm sorry if your boyfriend or others here think that you should just send flowers and stuff....but flowers fade. At least by showing up in person your showing your respect. It's the right thing to do....it's the gentleman like thing to do too.

Good luck and sorry for your loss!
 
Either gesture comes from the heart and would be appriciated. Flowers are fine too. I don't think anyone would expect you to travel such a long distance.
 
Do go, if you can.

His family will be grateful for your emotional support.

After all, you were related to this man for a long time.
 
I'm sure it will mean a lot to his family if you go, you want to go as well out of respect for the man. If you don't go you can't undo that and will regret it so I'm sorry Eric but in this case I think Robert is right to go and on his own as well to avoid any awkwardness at a difficult time for the family.

Just my gut feelings on the matter for what they are worth.
 
I think they would really appreciate your presence. They would be surprised and touched to see you there.

True, flowers would work well but the sentiment wouldn't be the same.
 
I think you both ought to go. Eric should go to support you and you should go to support the family that you loved. I don't see why Eric's accompaniment should be anything more than a friend supporting a friend and leave it at that if you don't want to explain any further.
 
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