Should I just throw the towel, and find myself a nice wife???

[Piquechampion]

I mean, nobody is getting any younger, all my friends are in very, long term relationships, my sister is getting married next year, everywhere I see happy couples. I don´t wanna be left out, die a lonely old man.

My parents made me kinda useless and lets face it they wont be around forever. I need someone to take care of my needs (not only sexual, but the kind of needs only a good housewife can fulfill).

I know I´m sexually attracted to females, just find it very, very hard to establish an emotional connection with them . So what´s keepin me? The illusion of a succesful gay relationship (all of those have been unsucessull for me). In my society that´s pretty impossible. :sigh:

What killed me today was this incident: My sister is getting married next year. My parents are giving them a big piece of land to build their house in. I always, since little wanted that terrain, I had always pictured my dream house there (its on the slopes of a mountain, and you can pretty much build a gorgeous house ). I expressed my feelings to my mother, and she said to me to not worry, that my sister is gonna build me an apartment in the back of the terrain for me to grow old in. Does my mother, my sister, my family just asumes that I´m gonna end up a lonely old man???

I´m very downcast over that fact, I don´t care about the terrain (not much really), but it had depressed me that my own family thinks that about me.

Besides, I´m starting to get a very unhealthy heterophobia that´s not gonna help if I wanna settle down with a women

Just thought I shared my current feelings.

 

[Lewis1]

iam feeling the same way although i just dont have the desire for females but iam sure it can develop if i give it a chance

 

[jackoroe]

Settling for a house wife simply to pick up after you is a bad idea. It won't last and you'll really be miserable after that. You may be unsure as to what you want in life. That's perfectly OK. You're only 24 not 85 so you've got a lot of time to get it together.

The point I'm making is don't settle. There must be passion!

 

[sixthson]

Why don't you grow up and make a life for yourself and stop depending on others for your support and happiness.
While you're at it, stop blaming your parents for the failure you are today. You might even try contributing to the world in some positive way. Naw, it won't happen.

 

[Piquechampion]

Why don't you grow up and make a life for yourself and stop depending on others for your support and happiness.
While you're at it, stop blaming your parents for the failure you are today. You might even try contributing to the world in some positive way. Naw, it won't happen.

Do you even know how Latin American societies work???

 

[josher]

From all you've said about yourself since you joined JUB, I don't think you need a wife.

I think you need somw clearly defined goals for your life and the ambition and maturity to attain them.

 

[sixthson]

Do you even know how Latin American societies work???

So that's your excuse for wasting your life? It doesn't sell.

 

[Piquechampion]

So that's your excuse for wasting your life? It doesn't sell.

Who says Im wasting my life? At 24 years I´m this close to become a PhD.

 

[bluedragon4]

Who says Im wasting my life? At 24 years I´m this close to become a PhD.

You are the one who said you should throw in the towel and get a wife. You gave up and now you are throwing this phD thing in. You live in a large gay community and you are gonna be a phD so what is the real problem here? Why don't guys wanna date you? Are you fem or ugly or have 3 eyes? What's really going on? (and you are only 24. Life doesn't end at 25.)

 

[Piquechampion]

You are the one who said you should throw in the towel and get a wife. You gave up and now you are throwing this phD thing in. You live in a large gay community and you are gonna be a phD so what is the real problem here? Why don't guys wanna date you? Are you fem or ugly or have 3 eyes? What's really going on? (and you are only 24. Life doesn't end at 25.)

Yeah, I should change that on my profile. Used to study in Barcelona, not living there anymore

 

[unclaimedblessing]

Lugus, you sound pretty much "down".
Why complicate your situation further by bringing a woman (and possibly children) into the mix?.
Only you know in your heart of hearts whether a woman can "complete you" (to borrow a corny film line).
You're still young, complete your education and don't settle for the next to best thing.
The right guy might be just around the corner. No where is it written that we must be in a LTR at any given age.
Study hard and relax and enjoy life, don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself.
Optimists are usually more attractive to others than pessimists.
I hope you find satisfaction and love in the near future.

 

[josher]

I forgot to add that I'm not sure I believe your mother was being completely serious with her remark about the room in your sister's house.

She may have been making either a teasing or a sarcastic remark in light of the fact that you're 24 and show no signs (in her eyes) of settling down.

 

[confusedboy23]

Whilst I am not suggesting you to become a workaholic, I think that at our age (Yes, I am 24 too) it may be worthwhile to prioritize our careers instead of worrying too much on 'growing old'. I would not deny that I too sometimes worry about growing old alone, I guess it would be a lot sadder if I grew alone and without accomplishing something.

 

[rareboy]

Do you even know how Latin American societies work???

Yes. But i also know that your father is waiting for you to stand on your own two feet and start behaving like a mature man and not a spoiled boy.

You are thinking you should have a wife for all the wrong reasons.

Better you should die alone than to make another person unhappy because you don't really love them.

 

[G-Lexington]

Do you actually ever want advice, or do you just ask questions like this so you can show how ethnocentric we Americans are for not understanding how your culture works?

Here's the answer you want: go out, find yourself a really rich, really stupid woman to marry, and pay some hot studs to have sex with on the sly. And tell your dad he owes you a house.

Lex

 

[Piquechampion]

Do you actually ever want advice, or do you just ask questions like this so you can show how ethnocentric we Americans are for not understanding how your culture works?

Here's the answer you want: go out, find yourself a really rich, really stupid woman to marry, and pay some hot studs to have sex with on the sly. And tell your dad he owes you a house.

Lex

 

[rareboy]

I think that Lex nailed it.

 

[Alpha1851]

My parents made me kinda useless and lets face it they wont be around forever. I need someone to take care of my needs (not only sexual, but the kind of needs only a good housewife can fulfill).

Yeah, the housewife bit doesn't really happen anymore. Make a lot of money and hire a maid.

 

[diane06]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

For God Sakes NO!

Take it from a woman who is married to a man that has had sex with other men!
I've met many women who are in the same place as me...or worse. You will not be happy over the year you will always wonder and want something else. You will destroy her in the process. Please, do not marry when your heart is else where. This happens all to often.

When you stop looking you will meet the right person. There is no time table, you don't have to be permanently hooked up by any certain age. Enjoy life for what you have now and live in the present.
goodluck.
Diane

 

[megustamyn]

It sounds to me that you have been brought up in a privileged environment and should be more able than many people to make your life be what you want it to be. I assume that are an intelligent man if you are working on a PhD. It is true that many children of privilege are not taught some basic life management skills, there is no reason why an intelligent and emotionally healthy individual cannot acquire those. There are plenty of therapists and life coaches who help people who have difficulty developing those skills.

I am Latino, probably about the same age as your parents. I moved out of my parents’ home at a young age. I worked and studied at the same time and I had enough success in the business world that I was able to retire when I was 51 and begin a second career that is less lucrative but more rewarding. I have many Latino/a friends who are living happy lives as openly gay people. They are successful professionals and have good relationships with their families. Of course, we have all worked very hard to achieve success in our professional and personal lives. It can’t be done without hard work.

I also know many gay people who entered into heterosexual marriages for a wide range of reasons and all of them look back on it as a mistake. My partner and I have 4 children between us. We love our kids very much but we regret the heartache that we caused by doing what we thought was the right thing at the time. Today, I consider it immoral for a same-gender-loving person to knowingly enter into an opposite-gender marriage without letting the future wife or husband know.