Should I live the fantasy or leave it a fantasy?

[Kalda007]

Hey, I have always wanted to sleep with another man..... but only when I am horny. I get super horny and want to fuck and suck a dick. But if I am not horny or I just finished I become disgusted at the thought...

Should I just keep this a fantasy or explore it? I've already had offers, but I get in those modes, and once I am out of that mode theres nothing there.

Thanks hope you get my confusion haha

 

[slnattak]

Man that sounds like issues. You're disgusted by it when you're not horny? Of course we all only want sex when we're in the mood for it- but the fact that you're disgusted by it when you're not horny, is weird to me.

 

[Female]

Man that sounds like issues. You're disgusted by it when you're not horny? Of course we all only want sex when we're in the mood for it- but the fact that you're disgusted by it when you're not horny, is weird to me.

Yea, what we said ^.

I would discover why you feel disgusted by the thought when you're not horny. Anyhoo- what's hot is hot right?

 

[maxndrew]

Well, straightly put (no pun intended), you like guys to some level and you're not comfortable with that idea. So you might want to fathom that idea a little before you jump in. If you have issues after masturbating while thinking of men, you'll have issues after having sucked one... Though you'd have had much more fun! My thought on this is that if you feel disgusted/guilty doing something you like, then you're giving too much power to what others would think. Live your life ; don't let others live it for you.

 

[Eyghon]

What you want to do when you're horny is a good barometer for what you want, period. If you want to be with a guy when you're horny, then it's something you should definitely try. If you're disgusted by it when you're not horny, then there are probably other issues at play, likely some internalized homophobia getting in the way of what your dick is telling you it really wants, which is another dick.

The disgust is the thing you should get rid of, not the fantasy. Even if you end up deciding that you're not into guys after all, being so at odds with your own desires isn't healthy.

 

[rareboy]

Leave it alone.

You're not equipped to handle being a homo.

 

[Lube]

Hey, I have always wanted to sleep with another man..... but only when I am horny. I get super horny and want to fuck and suck a dick. But if I am not horny or I just finished I become disgusted at the thought...

Should I just keep this a fantasy or explore it? I've already had offers, but I get in those modes, and once I am out of that mode theres nothing there.

Thanks hope you get my confusion haha

It's very common for guys in denial about their homosexuality to feel uninterested/disgusted by sex with men after they've jacked off. The reason is simple: they're no longer horny.

You are totally gay. So just get used to it. Love yourself. Tell yourself every day that you're gay, and it's OK.

Then find a cute guy to have sex with.

 

[conrad]

I would suggest that you need to steel yourself to remain open to all overtures from either males or females. From what you have written it seems clear that you have no firm take on your real desires.

Fantasy is wonderful and ought to be used, but eventually you will want something in which your hand will not be needed in the end to bring you to a climax.

Just remember: friendship is the key and friends have a way of becoming more than just friends. When that point is reached the sex is likely to come about almost spontaneously and nobody will need to be the seducer. That kind of sex confirms a bond that already exists; my experience was that every re-confirmation included more and more fantastic sex.

I hope your have a rich fantasy life. In your mind do you fuck and get fucked by guys.? Do you fuck girls? Do let your basic urgent animal urges find expression in your fantasies? Your brain is your most powerful organ of sex. Use it. In your mind you may find . as I did, that you can be shamelessly promiscuous. In real time your brain is also there to keep those animal urges in check. Be grateful that both the urges and the brain are there for you to enjoy being promiscuous in your mind knowing that your brain will not allow you to make a fool of yourself in real time.

Your brain can also help you to see that the best foundation for any sex is going to be a loving friendship. You don't have to have any sex until you love someone and when you love someone that which was repulsive to you before may seem quite appropriate. I remember that two days before my teen lover and I inducted each other into the ranks of the world's cocksuckers we probably would have dismissed the very idea that as two horny guys we could actually enjoy sucking each other off to completion and then mingle the cum offerings in our mouth in our first ever real kiss in which we passed the wonderful stuff from mouth to mouth. It could happen. Well it did and it seemed so right and so natural. It was our love that made for that difference .

Some guys have the attitude that says: "That happens for other guys but not for me." But, the only difference may be that the guy for whom it happens was the one who had the sense to grasp the opportunity when it came into his life. We have a nice word for that quailty of receptivity and response; the word is "serendipity.

Tell us more of your thinking on this matter. That way you will allow us to respond with greater precision.

 

[Kalda007]

Thanks for all the replys guys.

I have had opportunities in the past, to sleep with guys. And when ever I was put in that situation, I didn't think OMG I don't want my gayness to be out. I went straight to don't touch me, I move away, and get that disgusted feeling. And its not because people where around most were in private and no one was around. Its hard to explain.... When I compare girls and guys... Girls theres something different, theres a more of a deeper connection.. When I look at guys, I just want to fuck, but I don't know if I just want that fantasy of fucking, or if I would be able to do it in real life.

Thanks again for all the replys.. I am just as confused as you guys

 

[clicker]

I would suggest that you need to steel yourself to remain open to all overtures from either males or females. From what you have written it seems clear that you have no firm take on your real desires.

Fantasy is wonderful and ought to be used, but eventually you will want something in which your hand will not be needed in the end to bring you to a climax.

Just remember: friendship is the key and friends have a way of becoming more than just friends. When that point is reached the sex is likely to come about almost spontaneously and nobody will need to be the seducer. That kind of sex confirms a bond that already exists; my experience was that every re-confirmation included more and more fantastic sex.

I hope your have a rich fantasy life. In your mind do you fuck and get fucked by guys.? Do you fuck girls? Do let your basic urgent animal urges find expression in your fantasies? Your brain is your most powerful organ of sex. Use it. In your mind you may find . as I did, that you can be shamelessly promiscuous. In real time your brain is also there to keep those animal urges in check. Be grateful that both the urges and the brain are there for you to enjoy being promiscuous in your mind knowing that your brain will not allow you to make a fool of yourself in real time.

Your brain can also help you to see that the best foundation for any sex is going to be a loving friendship. You don't have to have any sex until you love someone and when you love someone that which was repulsive to you before may seem quite appropriate. I remember that two days before my teen lover and I inducted each other into the ranks of the world's cocksuckers we probably would have dismissed the very idea that as two horny guys we could actually enjoy sucking each other off to completion and then mingle the cum offerings in our mouth in our first ever real kiss in which we passed the wonderful stuff from mouth to mouth. It could happen. Well it did and it seemed so right and so natural. It was our love that made for that difference .

Some guys have the attitude that says: "That happens for other guys but not for me." But, the only difference may be that the guy for whom it happens was the one who had the sense to grasp the opportunity when it came into his life. We have a nice word for that quailty of receptivity and response; the word is "serendipity.

Tell us more of your thinking on this matter. That way you will allow us to respond with greater precision.

So right, CONRAD. I love your postings. it's no coincidence i see a wholesome christian influence in your sexual ways i find so attractive. I read some of your postings also in the religion and spirituality section. Good stuff!Peace!

 

[rareboy]

Hey OP.

I think you need to explore this with a professional, particularly after your last post.

There's something darker and more complex here.

You owe it to yourself to find out and hopefully achieve some comfort in your own skin.

 

[CTorontoC]

Sounds like a very extreme version of what I used to experience before I came to terms with who I was. I thought I only wanted to fuck guys, not love them but it was just my own denial, self loathing and all the baggage society puts on us gays. Just because no one is around, doesn't mean you aren't worried about what others think. Have you ever had sex with a woman? By the sounds of it you haven't and a truly straight man would be thinking about changing that, not fucking men. Im with the others who have suggested professional help. It sounds like you have the potential to really harm yourself with your present mindset and you certainly wont find answers as you are. Find a shrink you trust and hear it from them.

Thanks for all the replys guys.

I have had opportunities in the past, to sleep with guys. And when ever I was put in that situation, I didn't think OMG I don't want my gayness to be out. I went straight to don't touch me, I move away, and get that disgusted feeling. And its not because people where around most were in private and no one was around. Its hard to explain.... When I compare girls and guys... Girls theres something different, theres a more of a deeper connection.. When I look at guys, I just want to fuck, but I don't know if I just want that fantasy of fucking, or if I would be able to do it in real life.

Thanks again for all the replys.. I am just as confused as you guys

 

[Nomenclature]

Think of it this way:

When you're hungry, food looks and tastes really delicious to you. . .but have you ever tried going grocery shopping after you've eaten dinner? The idea of food is gross to you.

There's usually going to be that weird half-hour after you eat - or have sex - where it seems kind of gross to you to do those things anymore. Then, next time you're hungry/horny, they become appealing again.


Whether you want to actually experiment is entirely up to you, but i'd suggest only doing it on your own terms; Don't do anything stupid like hook up with a complete stranger on Craigslist.

 

[DJ1990]

That's how I felt whan I was younger...but then as I became older that feeling of grossness went away
and my attraction to men became a 24/7 thing.
I am not that old now btw, I am 19.

 

[innocentbychoice]

Thanks for all the replys guys.

I have had opportunities in the past, to sleep with guys. And when ever I was put in that situation, I didn't think OMG I don't want my gayness to be out. I went straight to don't touch me, I move away, and get that disgusted feeling. And its not because people where around most were in private and no one was around. Its hard to explain.... When I compare girls and guys... Girls theres something different, theres a more of a deeper connection.. When I look at guys, I just want to fuck, but I don't know if I just want that fantasy of fucking, or if I would be able to do it in real life.

Thanks again for all the replys.. I am just as confused as you guys

Here's what will probably happen if you ever do it:

The first time it will be so hot and exciting. But you'll feel guilty (maybe) and gross when you're over. If you keep trying the feeling will go away. It always goes away...When you start allowing things to yourself that at first you didn't think you'd like, you'll feel weird, but with time, you'll get over it and you'll enjoy it.

Just my opinion. But don't do anything that hurts you.

 

[Kalda007]

Thanks for the replys guys. As for post about when you get older you will realize your true self. I am 23 right now and like to believe I am pretty mature.

Have you ever had sex with a woman? By the sounds of it you haven't and a truly straight man would be thinking about changing that, not fucking men.

I have had sex with woman, and was in a serious relationship with one for over a year. Believe me I love the pussy and crave that a lot also. Its just theres something about guys also.

There's usually going to be that weird half-hour after you eat - or have sex - where it seems kind of gross to you to do those things anymore. Then, next time you're hungry/horny, they become appealing again.

I know what your talking about. Like I said in the above post, theres a diff connection to women. When I was with my ex, after sex I wasn't disgusted of her. We would cuddle and talk and nothing would be weird. I don't know why the only attraction to guys is when I am horny.

 

[slnattak]

Cuddling a guy doesn't have to be weird and disgusting. I think you can have the same things with another man you can with a woman.... Your attraction to males might just be more sex based. Maybe you're interested in just hooking up with them. I think because of the way men's sexuality works, it's easier to think of gayness in that way. But it doesn't mean that you can't also find a guy to share your heart with, that you won't feel 'disgusted' after you cuddle with him.

I think you have a point, in that- because of how men are, it might seem 'harder' to find a guy to emotionally connect with honestly, given the way men are, but a lot of those differences are just in our heads.

Best of luck to you...

 

[TX-Beau]

I have had sex with woman, and was in a serious relationship with one for over a year. Believe me I love the pussy and crave that a lot also. Its just theres something about guys also.

I know what your talking about. Like I said in the above post, theres a diff connection to women. When I was with my ex, after sex I wasn't disgusted of her. We would cuddle and talk and nothing would be weird. I don't know why the only attraction to guys is when I am horny.

So you only want to have sex with guys, when you want to have sex. Other than that it's just unappealing.

hmmmmmm..........

How many times in the annals of gaydom, have gay men heard:

"men are for fucking, women are for relationships."

Clue: a lot. It's a popular justification.

The first time a guy made a move on me, he nearly got hit. I was straight, I dated women, slept with them, I only wanted to have sex with men, when I wanted to have sex.

Yeah, that's denial. You started with your issue, asked for opinions, then when you heard "denial," you rushed to distance yourself from it, announced your love of twat, then explained any male attraction away as an abberation to your obviously straight sexual identity. After all, you love pussy, you've said so.

OK, we've been there - a lot of us. I didn't want to be gay so badly that I put myself through hell, used all the justifications, called myself bi, called myself straight. If there was a justification or an excuse out there, I found it.

But still, I only wanted to have sex with guys, when I wanted to have sex.

The key is in the reaction. You don't like your attraction to men. Straight guys may have a passing curiosity once a blue moon, but they aren't so worried about this that they come in here asking for advice. They ignore it, and it goes away - because they're straight. They only want to have sex with men, when it's a fleeting hypothetical curiosity with no real cocks involved.

You are most likely gay or bi, but in either case, it seems you have some acceptance issues to work on.

Start here, your head and your cock are in two different places, that usually means the cock is telling the truth. There's nothing wrong with you experimenting with that. You don't have to jump into a pride parade, but you won't know, until you know.

If you see what I mean.