Should I offer a blowjob to my friend?

[Rareair]

Ok...before you get all worked up over the title of this thread, let me tell you the whole story.
I have a friend who recently broke up with his girlfriend. They were dating for 5+ years. He was pretty broken up about it as anyone would be. He still tries to call her up to sleep with her and did so about a month ago. I told him how bad of an idea it was since she is hanging around a new crowd who is into all types of drugs.
We text eachother about 30 times a day....he tells me how shitty he feels and i tell him that things could be worse. I mean...its not like he is medically ill or suffering a loss of a family member. You know...the big stuff.
Anyway....I recently told him i was bisexual. I prefer guys over girls though, that way i dont have to deal with all that emotional girl stuff that most guys complain about. "I just wanna talk and cuddle" type stuff. Just not me. When i told him....he was cool about it. I think he likes the fact that i am very straight acting and that i am open minded to anything. I think it shows him that a guy who is attracted to other guys doesnt need to act feminine. I mean...i am much more corrdinated and athletic on his good day and my bad day.
Sex wise i havent done it much...just once when i was yonger, but i love giving a blowjob. Prob on the top of my list right ahead of full out sex with girl or guy.
My friend goes out to the bars a lot...prob to look at girls but he always texts me saying how some ugly chick was hittin on him and that hes just going home. I know he is a good friend (maybe best friend) but he never used to be this open about everything.
Now...I dont know if its the fact that he was always so close minded and he is becoming open minded or what....but lately i have been thinking about offering to give him a blowjob if he isnt gettin any else where (which he isnt). No...i am not emotionally attached to him. He is my friend. He annoys me half of the time he talks. He is not the greatest looking guy, but good looking. In a way...he looks up to me because of my athleticsm and i am a good looking fella. When his ex girlfriend would call me he would get pissed.
Well...i guess i am asking what i should do. I want to tell him, in a "no-big-of-a-deal kinda way," that if he ever needs to get off, ill suck his dick.
I want to let him know that it isnt that big of a deal....highschool stuff really.
I was thinking of ways to ask him when he texts me the other night at 1:30am telling me that some big girl (nothing aginst fat people..just retelling story) was hitting on him. He says the only way i would let her give me a blowjob is if he was drunk. I told him he needs to be more open minded...who knows could be fun.
So....next time i see him i was wondering if i should tell him like this
"Man, if u let some big girl suck you off....i would be upset cause i could do it for ya. I am clean and can prob do it better." LOL sounds funny i know...but i want to stress to him if u receieve a blowjob...u arent gay or bi. Your just a guy accepting a friends request and gettin off.
Ok....u might have laughed a little bit in this message as i have too. But, I am seriously thinking about doing it.

Let me know what yall think. And can we try to limit the....youll ruin your friendship.

 

[M4P]

If you really want to be a friend why don't you invite him out for coffee and offer to be a sounding board. I think this is more in line with his needs at this time

I got the feeling you were thinking more about your own needs than his

 

[voyons]

A "pity" BJ is very bad idea. Let's think of the possible resulting scenarios:

If:

He is straight
1) He laughs it off as a joke and uncomfortably changes the subject. Straight guys will not get a BJ from a guy no matter how desperate they are or how hot the guy is. The hottest woman on earth could offer me (a gay man) a BJ and I wouldn't accept it.
2) He gets defensive as he feels you are coming on to him. A lot of straight guys are ok with bi/homosexuality as long as it is non-threatening. You could get a serious earful or even a punch in the face. You would lose him as a friend.

He happens to be bi/curious/gay
1) He accepts your offer and begins to believe that you have real feelings for him. However, as it is nothing more than a "pity" offer, you have don't want to pursue anything further and will end up rejecting him.
2) He is not attracted to you and turns you down even though he has gay tendencies.

So...why would you risk a friendship when the best possible outcome is that he laughs off the offer as a joke?

 

[IANSAND]

I agree with Jordan_White. Your friend is in an extremely vulnerable position right now. Don't chance anything. He's straight and you basically called him your best friend. Don't mess up a good thing.

Be there to support him and encourage him if he needs it. Your his friend. Be there for him.

 

[Riverrick]

Yea, it probably sounds like an extremely fun idea to you but its still sex. And sex can ruin a friendship.

You're playing with fire, I'm afraid.

 

[swerve]

OK

I did what you're talking about -- except he hadn't broken up with his gf.

He initially refused -- 2 nights later he came BANGING on my door at 2AM -- I awoke and answered and he asked me if the offer was still on the table -- except-- he wanted to suck my dick -- after 69ing for a while he wanted me to fuck him. I obliged -- he left around 4am to go back to his gf's.

I had a lot of fun; and, I suppose he did to as he tried to make it a regular occurance. I had to tell him after a couple weeks of waking up in the middle of the night to FUCK OFF -- I have to work every day and can't spend every other night servicing his bazaar and rude behavior.

He did have a nice cock and awesome ass though.


This wasn't meant to be advice -- I was just telling a real life story to show that some of the GOOD advice presented may not be at all what happens -- It might turn into YOUR worst nightmare.

 

[Danugh]

It has been my experience that one of the best times to try and seduce a straight man is when he has just been dumped by a girl. They are most vulnerable at this time and if you play your cards right, it'll work out great for the both of you.

Tell us how it goes.

 

[ladygrey]

^
What???

Ok...

Alright. Now you can do anything you like and gosh darn golly gee, everything might work out ok...but maybe here's something you would like to think about...

Number One:
In your post, you ask us to not "say that it'll ruin your friendship"...why? Have you already realized that you might likely do that very thing? Do you really want genunie advice or are you looking for justification for something you know is NOT a good idea?

Number Two:
Why do you want to enage in a sexual act with a (as far as we know) hetrosexual male? Why don't you find an openly gay/bisexual male that is not a close friend and could be a relationship?

Number Three:
Why is he text messaging you 30 times a day? That doesn't sound healthy...also, he's just been dumped by his girlfriend...and he's calling for sex from her? Sorry to say, but it doesn't sound like he's a very respecting person...of your time or her right to be independant...Also, are you offering sex as kind of comfort? Because that's a very dangerous road to follow..

Number four:
Please don't start this whole debate again, but alright, you're althetlic and cordinated...and that makes you somehow better than feminine gay men how? I've done yoga for several years and I bet I'm more flexible, althetic, and cordinated than you are. I mean, when you can do a full armstand/headstand in the center of the room without support for ten mintues...so don't make yourself feel better because you're "straight acting". That's a sign of low self-esteem and discomfort with your sexuality rather than a valid critism. Clearly, your still young in your sexuality...When you get older, hopefuly you'll realize that mannerism are simply that...phsyical traits and don't reflect the person within.

Number Four:
This doesn't sound like a good idea at all..

Think about it, alright. You may think you're offering a blowjob, but really, you're saying a heck of a lot more than that.

 

[Roland00]

Yes it may be the best time to seduce someone if you just want a one night fuck. After that night though your relationship will be SCREWED UP. It will most likely destroy your friendship.

If you want to offer him giving a blow job, do not do it when he is emotionally messed up.

 

[billybob109]

I say you are cocky and he will remain straight because your cockiness turns him off

 

[Rareair]

Ok...thanks for all the advice first of all. It's helpful.
Let me first address the post about thinking Im better because i act straight.
Dude....relax. You simply turned what i said inside out. I was saying that my friend may like the fact that i am a straight acting guy that also is into guys. All he has seen is feminine gay guys. No where in my post did i say I was better because i was straight acting. My being athletic and coordinated just gives u an example of myself (since sports is my life) and i said my friend isnt...which gives u an example of his life..which is basically fantasy sports. Damn....chill out. I have low self esteem?????...and u judge this by a post i put on the internet. You are telling me about doing a handstand for ten minutes. My athleticsm is geared toward basketball.
Make sure u take first in that handstand tournament!!!
I didnt write this post to have people bash it. If you didnt think it was a good idea...why not just say that instead of writing a damn novel about why i shouldnt do it.
Anyway....i am taking everyones opinions (besides this guys) and making some type of decision. I am starting to lean towards not doing it for the simple fact that i dont want things to become wierd.
However...lol...if he brings it up...then ill jump for joy.

Has anyone ever thought....i wonder if i would have tried?
I take life seriously....but come on...lets loosen up a little bit.
Another thing...u ask why i dont choose a non-friend to have a relationship with? What if i dont want a relationship? Maybe i just want a buddy to fool around with. Maybe i want to experiment without having to deal with the emotions of having a relationship.
I guess these questions about friends and sex can go back and forth. For every 1 answer not to do it....there would be some guy saying to do it cause it worked for him.
Lastly...one thing is for certain... i am not going to be attached to him. Trust me. He is merely a friend...who i would like to experiment with. And yes...i am thinking about myself and my needs...yes..i do see his breaking up with a girlfriend as an oppurtunity to go for it. Thats a given. To say that everyones here hasnt thought about it or tried to do it is crazy.
Later fellas

^
What???

Ok...

Alright. Now you can do anything you like and gosh darn golly gee, everything might work out ok...but maybe here's something you would like to think about...

Number One:
In your post, you ask us to not "say that it'll ruin your friendship"...why? Have you already realized that you might likely do that very thing? Do you really want genunie advice or are you looking for justification for something you know is NOT a good idea?

Number Two:
Why do you want to enage in a sexual act with a (as far as we know) hetrosexual male? Why don't you find an openly gay/bisexual male that is not a close friend and could be a relationship?

Number Three:
Why is he text messaging you 30 times a day? That doesn't sound healthy...also, he's just been dumped by his girlfriend...and he's calling for sex from her? Sorry to say, but it doesn't sound like he's a very respecting person...of your time or her right to be independant...Also, are you offering sex as kind of comfort? Because that's a very dangerous road to follow..

Number four:
Please don't start this whole debate again, but alright, you're althetlic and cordinated...and that makes you somehow better than feminine gay men how? I've done yoga for several years and I bet I'm more flexible, althetic, and cordinated than you are. I mean, when you can do a full armstand/headstand in the center of the room without support for ten mintues...so don't make yourself feel better because you're "straight acting". That's a sign of low self-esteem and discomfort with your sexuality rather than a valid critism. Clearly, your still young in your sexuality...When you get older, hopefuly you'll realize that mannerism are simply that...phsyical traits and don't reflect the person within.

Number Four:
This doesn't sound like a good idea at all..

Think about it, alright. You may think you're offering a blowjob, but really, you're saying a heck of a lot more than that.

 

[Rareair]

Again....you base this on a post i put on the internet?

How about i switch the topic around...what if he asks me to do it? Then what should i do...?

I say you are cocky and he will remain straight because your cockiness turns him off

 

[Riverrick]

We're only saying this stuff because we've seen these things go badly.

Until you do it you just won't understand why sex and friendship doesn't mix well. Things tend to get all wierd afterwards. But maybe your case will be different. Good luck with that.

 

[voyons]

How about i switch the topic around...what if he asks me to do it? Then what should i do...?

In case of the off chance that this was to happen, I think you should say no. You don't want anything more than friendship so why would you add sex to the situation. It will only hurt him in the long run as it will end up in rejection because you don't have sexual feelings for him. However, everything points to him being straight so you need to understand that this probably won't happen.

 

[swerve]

^
What???

Ok...

Alright. Now you can do anything you like and gosh darn golly gee, everything might work out ok...but maybe here's something you would like to think about...

Ladygrey -- I wasn't trying to dispute ANY of what y'all have had to say on this matter -- And, I don't know much about psychology --

I was JUST trying to say that HE PROBABLY IS going to make the suggestion and offer a real life scenario from my past to show that it MAY OR MAY NOT WORK -- WHO's to KNOW???

In my case -- the guy was RUDE and BAZAAR -- and I was glad to get him out of my life -- but I did make the move -- and thats how it turned out.

Who knows -- Maybe these two could end up in eternal bliss????

If you don't go for it -- you'll never know.

 

[ladygrey]

Gentry, I wasn't aiming that "what" at you...

as for the other, I'm not overreating..I'm reflecting from what you said. I certinaly am not worked up about it, but you asked for advice and perspective.

And yah, as riverrick said,
we've all been there and done things we regret. We're just trying to tell you what we've seen so you can make an informed choice.

 

[JackFTwist]

interesting thread

most of the advice is really good, impressive

I really lean towards saying no, don't make the offer for all the good reasons given

 

[Rareair]

Ok fellas. Thanks a lot for the comments. I think i will not come out and ask him straight out if i can. What i will do is be his friend. However, since i told him about my sexuality...i have hinted at the fact about him being more open minded and trying new things. I will continue to do this and see what happens, without going too far.
If he brings it up and wants me to perform any sexual activity for him, I will go over some things about what happens afterward. Ill make sure he is for certan he wants to do it. It might kill the mood....but i think its a good mood. I know it is a long shot that he brings it up, but crazier stuff has happened. I mean, i never thought him and his girlfriend would have broken up.

Thanks again.

 

[JackFTwist]

he knows you are gay and if he can ask - then the question is should you - but a straight guy will always feel guilt afterwards and he sounds very straight unless he shows up at your door at 2 am for weeks on end... and then he is using you... life, and friendship, is never easy

 

[amigo32]

If he's interested, let him bring it up first.

Especially if he's coming out of a long term relationship, he probably doesn't need on of his close friend's hitting on him right now. Just my opinion.