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Should i wait or not ?

cocklover1988

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Ok im going to make this as short as possible..... I started talking to this guy online a 1.5 years ago and just this past like august we finally decided to meet and we went out on a date and we just clicked so good and decided to go back to his place for a movie and lets just say somehow we ended up making out for 2 hours straight..... Not joking either. Well we then took it to the bedroom and things happened. We continued to hang out whenever we could do to his busy life, well to this day we hang out and became best friends and we end up always in his bed at the end of the night. Well i told him that i like him alot and i would like to try a relationship with him, he said he would to but not at the time. Turns out he has liked a friend of his that he goes to school with and this guy is shy and hasnt said he was gay. Well recently they talked and this shy guy is gay as well as we both suspected he was. My friend then told shy guy how he feels about him and then it got quiet. My friend wants a relationship with this guy sooooo much and it just isnt happening. Now all this time ive been waiting for a relationship with my friend but he wants to figure out what him and this shy guys status is first and he said if shy guy only wants to be friends then he will be heartbroken and will need a while to get over him before he is ready for me. Now ive been single a long time and i really really like this guy alot and want a relationship with him sooooo badly but i dont wanna wait forever and things not end up happening in the end. What should i do wait for him to be ready or not ?I just want for him to be happy, Also at the same time i wanna be happy as well :help: :confused:
 
Wait around on just the possibility that he might choose you as second best?

Don't wait. You're worth more than being the "maybe, down the road" consolation prize.
 
Yeah, you probably need to move along. It sounds like he was looking for an "itch fix" and you were convenient. Sounds brutal, I know, but most of us have been in that position. It's just not advisable to wait around and see...let him make the move. In the meantime, listen to the others: you are not seconds!
 
So, what now, you're now his "spare tyre"?!

FORGET HIM!!! You deserve better!!!

I am sorry for you, how he has led you on so cowardly. It would be easy for me to say "Forget Him" but I know how painful it would be to do so.

Courage, and Good Luck!
 
I think you know the answer to that by now. Somebody out there is worth your time, this guy isnt. Best wishes(*8*)
 
His attentions is elsewhere. That's the sad thing for you of course. He can't see that someone wants him bad in front of him already. If he's like this now, how can a long term relationship work? You'd expect at least some interest in you, but he's got his mind and his pants interesting in other things.

Why don't you try and find someone more worthy of your attentions?
 
Yeah, he's not interested in a relationship with you. You seem to have a fairly good "friends with benefits" relationship with him, though, so you'll have to decide whether you're comfortable doing that (as that will probably all it will be), or whether you'd rather give that up and look for someone more exclusive.

Lex
 
I don't find it so easy to shoot down your setup as the rest of the guys.

Firstly, you have a mutual benefisual relationship with this guy. You both have regular sex and probably both enjoy it.

You care a lot for him and he doesn't love you as much, but he must feel something for you.

He has been honest with you, and he is probably a bit confused, maybe even a LOT confused.

Why not try and win him over. Be kind, patient, loveable, good company and the best lover.

Why must every relationship always be so easy and so black or white?
 
Little if anything is ever won by grand exits.

Indeed, you have a very mutually beneficial relationship. Both of you are having fun. He has his itches all right. And so do you. Right?

So, if you still enjoy exchanging benefits, there is nothing and no one to stop you here.

If you want a guy for a relationship, you want to look somewhere else. No matter how much effort you put in winning him over, you'll always be his consolation prize and that's always the worst start, you can ever hope to have.

SC
 
Wow, i never thought i would get so many answers to this so quickly. Well it sounds like you all think i should just move on, I really wish it was that easy to just move on but it is not that easy when i grown attached to him and have very strong feelings for him. I have left out a big chunk of this story to make it as small as possible so i guess you guys dont know the full story. Well he has told me he likes me as much as i like him and so im still unsure if i want to just move on or not. I really dont think im his spare tire or backup guy whatever you wanna consider me. I feel we are basically in a relationship but havent made things official. He is a really sweet guy and is just really confused right now on what to do, and he has alot on his plate. I just dont want you guys to think he is using me for sex because he isnt. He is worth waiting for but at the same time im ready for a relationship because it has been way too long since my last. I just wish i powers to make him and i finally make things official.
 
Don't wait. Look for someone else and just stay friends with this guy. It's obvious that you're not in his heart.
 
Hey mate,

You need to treat yourself with the same respect and decency that you are treating your friend with. You need to put yourself first, ahead of his needs. You need to value and love yourself for who you are...the guy who had the courage to post here, the wisdom to ask for advice, the one who loves and cares so deeply for the people around him.

You're better than being his second choice. You're better than being anyones second choice. Dont ever forget that.

You dont have to lose him as a friend, but its time to move on. Time to stop playing his games. Its time to find the love that you deserve.

And while you think its hard to do trust me. When you shift your focus off one thing and open your eyes to the possibilities around you...when you look with your heart at all the other chances in the world you'll soon find someone who really cares and values you the way you deserve to be.

Put yourself first here CL88. Its what you're worth....its what you deserve.
 
Ok, Problem is there arent any guys i really wanna be with right now. Until i can find someone im not going move on. Now i am searching, i really am. I guess im just picky on the guys i wanna date. Maybe i should just find a girl right now, I can easily get a girl because everyone tells me im freaking hott.
 
Ok Big update kinda.... The guy i like and the shy guy he likes finally agreed to meet and talk about their status and shy guy said he had something to say but then when they hung out he never said what he wanted, Kinda got scared or something. Well now the guy i like is saying he is going to distance himself from the other guy to see if the other guy likes him or not, He figures if he wants him he will start asking to hangout more and finally say something. It will also help him too so he can stop getting attached any farther and start detachment process to try being with me. Well with this happening i feel maybe i will see alot more of him than before and i might even be in a relationship sooner than expected. So in the end im just going to wait for him, i know im probably the second best but its better than nothing. And also im not using anyone, we are friends with benifits.
 
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