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Should I?

B

blue4241

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I'm thinking about hooking up with this slightly older guy. Now I have been with another guy that was in his 30's, I'm 23. The thing is that he is in an open relationship and I have never encountered anybody that has been in one of those. We are both interested in each other, and he told me him and his boyfriend are fine with each other seeing other people. I'm just worried cause I am very anti cheating and I might over think the whole thing.
 
I am not sure about these open relationships. When I am in a relationship, I believe that I must be faithful. Trust and honesty are very important to me. I would not let age bother you too much. When I was 19, I was with a guy who was 31 and we were together for over 3 years. I know we were in love very much. It was more that physical. We really cared about each other. We parted ways only because he was transferred overseas and I could not go. It was to difficult to be so far apart. That was several years ago. We are still great friends. Good luck in whatever you do.
 
Are you concerned because you have some judgmental feeling about "cheating" or are you concerned that you might develop feelings for this guy?

If the former, he's told you he's in an open relationship. Assuming that's the truth (versus a feel-good excuse for you so he doesn't look like a cheat), then it isn't "cheating."

If it's the latter, then you do have cause for genuine concern. He may be willing to have sex, but his heart belongs to his bf and that's where he'll be at the end of the day. Are you alright with that?

Being a participant in these kinds of relationships can be fun, or trying, depending on a lot of circumstances. If in doubt, forget it--it's not worth it. If you're in it for a quick and no-strings-attached shag, then go for it.

Good luck.
 
If you think it'll make you feel better, ask the guy if you can talk it over with his boyfriend. If it's truly an open relationship, he presumably won't mind.

Lex
 
blue4241 said:
I'm just worried cause I am very anti cheating and I might over think the whole thing.
Click to expand...

If you are anti-cheating, then don't compromise on your values.

You're describing something that has no future. He's not going to break up with his partner for you if they have an open relationship. You will be the much younger piece on the side.

There are plenty of guys out there who are uncommitted. Go find one.
 
I don't have any feelings for him other than physical and the fact that we have a few things in common. I'm just concerned that I might feel regret afterwards. I'm just a little gunshy about hooking up with another guy after about a month ago but that guy and I have a history.
 
If you're worried about regretting it afterwards, I'm sort of doubting you'll enjoy it while it's actually happening.

Lex
 
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