Sick of it

[bwbw86]

How hard is it to find a guy I'm actually in to. I realize I'm probably crusing the wrong place. But at the same time, I've tried the bars and it's not my scene at all. I've been looking online. And I've at least gotten some interaction with guys in lately. I thought this guy was cool but he just started tellin me more and more weird stuff like about how much coke he's done. Then he was bragging about being a model and a stripper and all this other shit that I don't wanna hear about. It ended up making him sound really self absorbed. Plus I had him over last night with my best friend. We were just chillin out and this guy just made a total ass of himself. Started doing stripper moves and all. Just was really awkward. I'm obviously not going to like every guy I meet. But jesus why is it so hard to just meet one decent one that shares my interests. The Pussycat Dolls came on and he was like "Oh this is my jam!!" WTF?

I dunno. Am I just too picky. I don't think so. I like what I like. I like down to earth guys. Why are they so hard to find.

 

[Lube]

I wonder the same thing from time to time: Why aren't there any fucking normal guys around?!

And then I remember how I'm as fucked up as the next guy. Just in different ways.

 

[GL]

i don't think you're being picky but meeting someone off the internet is dicey at best. not to say it can't happen but i think you would be better off looking for a group or organization that caters to your interests but is made up of other gays. for example, if you like to go bowling look up a gay bowling league in your area. you'll get out, meet others and make friends and hopefully you'll meet someone you'd like to go out with. think of it as networking.

 

[youngnihilist]

The "normal" guys are usually straight. Why are gay guys a bit off? They've had to grow up and go through so much shit that they end up with a few screws loose. Just gotta accept that.

No, but really there are normal gay guys. I'd like to think I'm one. I've met others. It's just less. More drama and abuse growing up equals more cookyness

 

[drhladnjak]

Why would you want normal? Normal = boring

 

[Tizinsane]

Yep, im going through the exact same thing right now. It's so fucking frustrating. I've been told im way too picky, too but I don't care. I want a good match!

Good luck, hopefully things improve for you.

 

[bwbw86]

thanks yeah. i think it is possible to be too picky. but at the same time, you know what you want and there's no reason to compromise just because you want to be with someone. i hope stuff gets better for you too!

 

[thehayesman]

I agree that it can be hard to find someone clean and normal. I have had some moderate success though.

I know there are people out there who are cool to be with but I never find them at the club scene and some online are freaks. I think it's hard to find someone in general if you're gay because all the normal dating arenas are for straights.

Good luck dude!

 

[vadersapprentice]

Uh-uh. Theres no such thing as being too picky... the way I see it is- If you have very spacific interests...its for a reason. Its because deep down somewhere you need that quality to balance yourself out. Whether you lack something (like being organized, or you're a bad cook), or you just have a very peculiar sense of humor that only some people can truly appreciate- these both are qualites that have needs. We yearn to have someone to keep us organized. OR We hope to find someone who has the same sharp wit as you do. That is what makes you compatible with someone. we look for these qualities in all people...not just romantic relationships. Keep being picky- it'll keep you from having some guy stripping in front of your telivision with your friends in the room

 

[SonOfSlobone]

You're making it a lot harder for yourself if you start out thinking you already know exactly what kind of guy you're looking for. It doesn't work that way.

In reality it's more like a back-and-forth process. Every time you're with a guy you learn something new about what you like and don't like. Then you can use that experience to form a better judgment of the next guy you meet.

Be more open to experience and don't be afraid to get together with a guy who's not Mr. Right. It's not the end of the world if you hook up one time and then decide you don't need to see him again.

Just keep putting yourself out there and eventually you'll meet a guy you really click with. And chances are he'll be completely different from what you expected.

And by the way, it doesn't matter whether you meet the guys at a bar, or the Internet, or someplace else. It's the same guys everywhere, just dressed differently. Trust me on this one.

 

[drhladnjak]

I agree with SonOfSlobone. There's nothing inherently wrong with being picky, but it's possible to box yourself in by making certain qualities requirements when in fact they're really just preferences. Compromising on the big important ones is not something you (normally) want to do, but you just want to make sure that list is accurate without being overly restrictive.

There are lots of very happy couples (both gay and straight) where the two people wouldn't have expected a relationship with the other because they weren't each other's types.