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"Sigh" I'm still in the closet (18 y/o) but I still want to find a BF...but how???

Re: "Sigh" I'm still in the closet (18 y/o) but I still want to find a BF...but how??

lifeisamazing said:
Grim,

I dont mean to be mean, but you will not find a long term relationship inside the closet; cause when you two are public you guys are gonna act like nothing happened?

Come out of the closet and potentially find a guy or stay in and be miserable. Plain and simple, cause no sensible gay guy will date a guy still in the closet. Things just don't work like that outside of JUB.
Click to expand...


If you read my other post I said that I would be totally out if I actually met someone and went into a relationship. But then another jubber said that the chances of me finding that someone while in the closet is close to none :'(

I found this one gay person who is in a relationship with another guy and told him i'm gay and everything..so lets see what happens from there..

I also don't want to find people @ the bars..as I have read recently that most people there are just wanting a one night stand..

Hopefully I find that someone :D
 
Re: "Sigh" I'm still in the closet (18 y/o) but I still want to find a BF...but how??

i have the same situation as you except my mom is mad about my being gay coz she's homophobia.
i don't want to go to bars either, never been there.
so i am like a sit duck everyday fantisize about romantic love


and it just doesn't work:(
 
Re: "Sigh" I'm still in the closet (18 y/o) but I still want to find a BF...but how??

Grim, even if you have this one person after the highly unprobable event that every conceivable person in your life abandons you for being gay (note again: unprobable), what happens if you guys don't work out?

At some point in time, you will be without a partner, and if everyone in your life did abandon you, then you'd still be a solitary gay man, just a few months or years later than today.

The point we're all getting at here is that being a minority requires that people be strong enough to stand on their own two feet, comfortable enough in their own skin to face the sometimes harsh realities of life. No single partner is going to be able to act as your shield 24-7. You have to be strong enough to function. Only then can you be a good partner to someone else, instead of a dependent.

Life is frightening and comign out is frightening, too. However, you've already assumed the worst. You assume that if you come out, you will lose everyone you care about. That's not necessarily true at all. On top of that, you assume that you'll never make new friends, which is also untrue.

Realistically, you will be partnerless and gay at some point in your life. If that's all you're worried about, better to face it now and become strong than be forced to deal with it later.
 
Re: "Sigh" I'm still in the closet (18 y/o) but I still want to find a BF...but how??

dude dont date someone who already has a boyfriend, dont be desperate and lame like that. just like said...come on out now.
 
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