Signs that he's just not that into you!

[elephunk]

What are they? And why do guys string you along if they aren't that into you? Why waste each other's energy and time?

 

[saymyname]

What are they? And why do guys string you along if they aren't that into you? Why waste each other's energy and time?

Been wondering that for a while now, the part about why they string us along. I think it has something to do with making them feel desired. They have issues.

 

[TX-Beau]

Guys string you along because you present the opportunity.

Some guys are assholes, some are conceited, but I find it's pretty easy to spot them. If you're doing all the work, they're not all that into you.

Call once, if you get the runaround, don't call again. If they come back, make sure they do the work.

Guys who string you along aren't going to go to all the trouble of chasing you down every time, just to string you along. That requires your participation.

 

[saymyname]

But why are people even interested in that game? If some guy presented me the opportunity to "string him along" I wouldn't even TAKE the opportunity because I'm only interested in giving attention to people I actually like.

 

[TX-Beau]

Well, you're not a conceited asshole. Don't ever measure someone else by your own standard.

People are different, watch what the guy does, listen to what he says, if they don't match, you've got a problem.

 

[maxpowr9]

I think the most obvious reason hes not into you is that you are always the one that calls him. If other people cant initiate conversation, they dont really care to get to know you.

 

[elephunk]

Been wondering that for a while now, the part about why they string us along. I think it has something to do with making them feel desired. They have issues.

But why are people even interested in that game? If some guy presented me the opportunity to "string him along" I wouldn't even TAKE the opportunity because I'm only interested in giving attention to people I actually like.

EXACTLY. Why even do it? If I'm not feeling someone then I let them know, either subtly or directly. I DON'T want to waste your time!

For example, this guy will always initiate the convos, but never take action (meet up, etc). The other day I suggested a date and about 30 min after our scheduled time, he texts me saying he fell asleep! It wasn't THAT big a deal since I was already at our meeting place doing some work, but to flake out like that is totally unacceptable. He says he was sorry and feels really bad. The next night, he IMs me to say 'hey' and asks what I'm doing... I respond and I get NOTHING back. He IMs me later asking me what I'm doing, I respond and he signs off.

LOL I just don't get it. And it's not only this, but other little weird things where I feel like "he's just not that into you".

And of course, every time I say "I'm OVER IT. Moving ON"... he IMs me or texts me and I ALWAYS respond. Somebody tell me to stop. lol

I'm honestly tired of the games. I just want to say, "This isn't working out. Stop contacting me."

 

[LonelyFace]

^^Then do it.

 

[JournDude18]

they're not necessarily jerks all the time. They are first attracted to you, so they wanna give it a shot. It doesnt' always work out.

 

[altlover85]

It's tempting to waste time with someone that's not really interested in you, but really it's time you could use to find a quality guy.

 

[saymyname]

EXACTLY. Why even do it? If I'm not feeling someone then I let them know, either subtly or directly. I DON'T want to waste your time!

For example, this guy will always initiate the convos, but never take action (meet up, etc). The other day I suggested a date and about 30 min after our scheduled time, he texts me saying he fell asleep! It wasn't THAT big a deal since I was already at our meeting place doing some work, but to flake out like that is totally unacceptable. He says he was sorry and feels really bad. The next night, he IMs me to say 'hey' and asks what I'm doing... I respond and I get NOTHING back. He IMs me later asking me what I'm doing, I respond and he signs off.

LOL I just don't get it. And it's not only this, but other little weird things where I feel like "he's just not that into you".

And of course, every time I say "I'm OVER IT. Moving ON"... he IMs me or texts me and I ALWAYS respond. Somebody tell me to stop. lol

I'm honestly tired of the games. I just want to say, "This isn't working out. Stop contacting me."

Just stop replying the next 2 or so times that he IMs you.

 

[saymyname]

I have a similar question.

Is there any kind of psychological explanation for why people take advantage of other people's emotions? I'm thinking particularly of my ex. Like why would someone that you love and who loved you too, after a few months of genuine love, start to take advantage of the other person's emotions and use them in a manipulative way? Is it because they stop respecting us when they know we'll let them get away with anything, because there is no longer a challenge to have our love, or is it because they're shallow and messed up people that don't know how to handle affection and return it in kind?

 

[anchihiro]

Stringing you along means....

I've had you, you were alright but i'm more interested in them over there, i havent slept with them before.

Ok so i've been sleeping with them, they were ok too, you're still contacting me, oh what the hell i'll shag you again.
But then i really have to be off because i've just found someone else i havent slept with. But if that doent work out and your still acting desperate i might be round again.

 

[saymyname]

Stringing you along means....

I've had you, you were alright but i'm more interested in them over there, i havent slept with them before.

Ok so i've been sleeping with them, they were ok too, you're still contacting me, oh what the hell i'll shag you again.
But then i really have to be off because i've just found someone else i havent slept with. But if that doent work out and your still acting desperate i might be round again.

I disagree. I think this an emotional and psychological thing, and for once, not all about sex. Half the time when people get "strung along" it's with someone they either haven't slept with yet, or someone they're dating or in a relationship with that is treating them with less affection than they did in the beginning (in which case, yeah, it may be about wanting to experience more stuff). But I don't think it's just sex... and if it is someone who you're just seeing casually, you know, sleeping with once in a while, it's good to have that "are we fuck buddies or what" kind of conversation.

 

[anchihiro]

Well i disagree with you.

If you like just replace 'slept with' to hanging out in whatever capacity you like. People have experienced what they think you have to offer but they are still enticed by the new. They'll come back to you as a safe option or when they have nothing they consider of high importance to do.

The only other option i can think of straight away is when the other person is insecure about something. Like having personal issues with their body. But they like you and want you in their life but need to try and keep you at arms length blowing hot and cold so it's just enough to keep you interested but far enough so you can't see what they think is an ugly side to them. x

 

[Echoes]

Because both can be into something, just not in the same way, i.e guy #1 wants a serious relationship and has already feelings - guy #2 just wants sex and maybe a friendship.
That happens and there's no much to do about it.

 

[trikky]

Sometimes if you are looking for a relationship and they just wanna hang out with you you can feel strung along when actually nothing was promissed or implied. If you want something to happen make the move. If he doesn't respond in kind move on. I find that with gay guys generally because there is so much opportunity to meet new guys all the time, a lot of interactions are brief unless you really click with someone.