Simple Question for Straight Guys

[Pickwick]

Guys I just need to ask this to someone who doesn't know abut my story. The question is simple: do you think that a straight guy would let a gay friend of him telling him that he love him and that he fancies him and he wants him. Actually the question is how would you straight guys react if one of your gay friend tells you he is in love with you since the first time you met ?

 

[blackbeltninja]

Well, if the gay guy loves him, he can't change it. He might not like it, but that is not going to magically make the feelings the gay guy has disappear.

-d-

 

[Pickwick]

Yeah right , but don't you think he should do something about it and say to the gay guy to "fuck off", or at least to say that he simply not interested, yet flattered, but that he won't answer positively. It's been almost a year now and the straight guy didn't do anything about it, he keeps meeting the gay guy, drinking beers with him, spending time with him... And I can even say that in ten months he let the gay guy take some kind of "the mistress part" in his life ( even the straight guy's girlfriend feels that there's something between them and can't stand the gay ) even though they don't sleep with each other. And what I think is worst is that he keeps telling to the gay guy that he needs "time to think about it". For my part I think it's not normal. So here it is again how a straight guy should react to the fact that a gay guy is deeply in love with him?

 

[blackbeltninja]

Well, sure, the decent thing would be feeling flattered, followed by saying "thanks, but I'm not interested" to his gay friend. The heart wants what the heart wants; I don't think he should feel negatively about his gay friend.

Of course, the decent thing for the gay friend to do if he knows the straight is not interested is to not try to pursue anything other than friendship.

-d-

 

[ElmosToe]

Of course, the decent thing for the gay friend to do if he knows the straight is not interested is to not try to pursue anything other than friendship.

-d-

^this.

What does being gay or straight have anything to do with it?

There are plenty of friends who fall in love where the other friend does not have the same feelings and can't reciprocate.

If you are in love with your friend but they are not in love with you, you have to choose how to deal with it.
You can either end the friendship or be respectful and keep it platonic. Just because someone is in love with another person does not make that other person obligated to love that someone back.

I've been there with friends both male and female and it sometimes isn't pretty if the person in love does not know how to respect boundaries. The last couple situations I was involved with I decided to end the friendships because the people who were "in love" with me continued to force the issue. It's difficult and confusing to know what to do. You don't have the same feelings but you are friends and you value the friendship and don't want to lose them as a friend. You feel bad that you don't have those same feelings and wish you did to relieve the friend's hurt. You know that every time you spend any time together it's like cutting open an old wound and pouring lemon juice on it. When it just barely starts to heal, you cut it open again and pour more lemon juice on it.

There is a point where you have to let it go. Either the person in love needs to come to grips with reality and let it go, find someone else to love or end the friendship. Otherwise the other person will end it if the friendship doesn't self destruct before then.

It's not healthy for you to hold out for him if there will never be anything between you two.
Even if he may have some uncertainties about his sexuality and may come to terms with them down the road, right now he's in a relationship already and does not have the same feelings for you. Don't waste your life wishing for something to happen that most likely never will and if it does, not in the way that you'd hope for or ever want.

Make sense?

 

[Pickwick]

Yes it makes sense.... Thank's, it's just that I don't wanna loose him at all, but I'll never be able to look at him as a friend, I fell in love at first sight. It's the first time I keep hanging up someone on like this even though I know it's never gonna be what I'm searching for (I didn't talk about his culture and origin). But I truly believe that there's something between us I usually don't fall in love that deeply to someone I can't feel attraction for me with. I can't say that it's the first time that happens (me falling in love to a guy who's not in love with me the way i'd like it) but normally I'm strong enough to either put an end to it or move on, but for him. In almost one year I've tried to cut the bound several times in several ways, only each time it's either me or him that comes back and say " sorry let's just be friend again", and always tell him to break it because I just know I'm not strong enough to do it my self, I want him to say to me to fuck off, but he never did. And in my heart I've got that feeling (I know it will sound cheesy) that even in one hundred years and no matter what I'll still love him. I met a lot of guys in ten month but I just can't feel nothing for them, they're like "ok"and that's it. And I didn't pursue to force him, I respect him, but I'm an honest person so I told him everything, and just don't insist. I just wanted to know if it was normal for him not to do anything about it even though he knows I'm suffering from that situation but I just couldn't put an end to it myself.

 

[hjsimp_992]

I loved a straight guy in HS, we were best freinds, I never told him I loved him. We did jack off together, but no love.

 

[tomhrdhat]

I think for many of us, our first love is a straight best friend. That was how I realized with absolute certainty that I was gay. However, can never go anywhere. 30 years later, I'm thankful that I never told him because I still bump into him at reunions. Today, what was once a painful situation is now just a pleasant memory.

 

[Pickwick]

Did it take you 30 years ? Saterday I told him that even if I wasn't angry with him anymore I'd just prefer not to see him again... It's painful very hard and I don't know if I will be able not to fall again...

 

[RRUGER]

%^ best move cut it off and move on

u are missing out on other opprtunities

 

[Telstra]

Guys I just need to ask this to someone who doesn't know abut my story. The question is simple: do you think that a straight guy would let a gay friend of him telling him that he love him and that he fancies him and he wants him. Actually the question is how would you straight guys react if one of your gay friend tells you he is in love with you since the first time you met ?

Easy.
Use reverse psychology and ask yourself, how would you react if a female friend ask you the same question ?

 

[rjason2425]

I fell hard for my straight best friend. We even messed around. I thought that he secretly loved me but was struggling. Nope, he was just horny. All very one sided. We had lots of falling outs because of my love for him and jealousy when he found a girl. We wouldnt talk for months. My heart ached. I finally had to come to reason, loose my best friend for ever or move on. Im not there yet buti havent persued him in that way. We are still best friends. Going on 16 years.
I dont want him out of my life so i just have to release that feeling in my heart. I too loved him at first sight. Its not easy because the heart is so strong. But im choosing friendship over nothing at all. I cant force him to love me back so i have 2 options, friends or no friends. I charish his friendship so thats what im choosing.

 

[Pickwick]

Easy.
Use reverse psychology and ask yourself, how would you react if a female friend ask you the same question ?

It's not that easy because it happened to me already and I fell in love with her instantaneously and we separated after one year. So ??? In this situation the problem is not to know if he could be possible but to know what he feels about me... Now if a girl friend of mine told me she was in love with I think that my first reaction would be to tell her frankly that she'd rather look for someone else. But he told me to give him "time to think about it".

I fell hard for my straight best friend. We even messed around. I thought that he secretly loved me but was struggling. Nope, he was just horny. All very one sided. We had lots of falling outs because of my love for him and jealousy when he found a girl. We wouldnt talk for months. My heart ached. I finally had to come to reason, loose my best friend for ever or move on. Im not there yet buti havent persued him in that way. We are still best friends. Going on 16 years.
I dont want him out of my life so i just have to release that feeling in my heart. I too loved him at first sight. Its not easy because the heart is so strong. But im choosing friendship over nothing at all. I cant force him to love me back so i have 2 options, friends or no friends. I charish his friendship so thats what im choosing.

Dude it's exactly the same for me. I'd rather take what he gives me than not receiving anything. It's like even if I told him that I didn't want to see him again I know that I'm gonna get things back together between us as he is to important in my life not to be in it even as a friend, in one year he became like my only landmark. I'm basically in the "mistress" situation right now even if we don't have sex, the thing is that I don't know if I'm gonna be strong enough to push it on for 16 years, and right now I'm not strong enough to cut it off.

 

[rjason2425]

So you did tell him how you feel? How did he react? Has hee brought it up to you? Did he just say he isnt sure or that he definitely does not have those feelings in return?
My friend straight up said no he loves pussy. I enjoyed our sexual encounters because i wanted him so bad but the feelings became much stronger. What really sucked is it really lead me on to thinking something would come of it. Nope, he was just a jerk guy that only wanted head.
Its still messed up. As long as he doesnt have a girl in the picture im fine. But when he does im heart broken all over again. I too cant seem to break the cycle. The heart wants what it wants and so here i sit being completely alone because all i do is hang out with him. No relationships, no one loving me in return because i choose him over everyone. No one ever matches up to him. Pretty stupid of me but i cant help it.
If you wanna chat more privately let me know.

 

[Str8Top14701]

"Love" is a strong word, and he doesn't swing that way. He might understand that you are attracted to who you're attracted to, but it's always going to be unrequited. I've had female friends that felt the same way about me as you do him, but there was just no connection with them, and most of the friendships fell apart because of the awkwardness (at best), or (at worst) the hurt they felt being rejected. You have to let it go and keep it to yourself.

 

[Pickwick]

So you did tell him how you feel? How did he react? Has hee brought it up to you? Did he just say he isnt sure or that he definitely does not have those feelings in return?

"Love" is a strong word, and he doesn't swing that way. He might understand that you are attracted to who you're attracted to, but it's always going to be unrequited. I've had female friends that felt the same way about me as you do him, but there was just no connection with them, and most of the friendships fell apart because of the awkwardness (at best), or (at worst) the hurt they felt being rejected. You have to let it go and keep it to yourself.

I told him I was in love with him on Christmas Eve (I know pretty cheesy), he was in chock at first because he told me that he wouldn't have expected that from me as I'm not feminine at all so he just thought I was only friendly to him. You have to picture that I live in Mauritius Island and it's a small country filled with stereotype so basically for Mauritian guys you're not gay if you're not a nancy boy and if you're gay you're no longer a guy. Now he's Hindu that put him in a situation that he has to Mary and have children (that time I really did it all to make things easy in my love life didn't I ?). But his reaction was kinda cool as he told me that he didn't change that we were friends and with time he told me that he loved me in a special way that put me over his regular friends but above his girlfriend and that he needed to think about going out with me in an other way than friend but he didn't want to cheat on his girl friend. We don't have sex because I told him I respected him too much to push it too hard on him and pursue him to make love to me. But every body that know us did noticed that there was something going on between us even his girl friend. Well there you go but now we don't see each other as much as before because of our jobs and it became very difficult for me not to see him, I miss him so F***ING much and he doesn't seem to care about it really much... So last weekend we had a fight about that fact and I told him to leave me alone for me to be able to move on and open my heart to some one else but I realize that he is to important for me he took all the room there was in my heart and I would never be able to forget him even if I'm with another guy. Which is pretty lame. Sorry guys for all that long long text.