Single or With Someone ?

[chrisdobro]

I'm curious about where people stand on relationship issue and their current partners if any.

If you are single, do you
* prefer to stay single as much as possible
* would like to get together with someone permanently as soon as possible
* somewhere in between (i.e. not ready for a relationship, otherwise) ?

If you are iwth someone, would you
* prefer to stay with them for as long as possible
* would like to get rid of them as much as possible
* somewhere in between (i.e. relationship problems, otherwise)

I'm curious about your choice and a short explanation of your choice.
(In my case it's being with a partner and being somewhere in between...)

 

[thephoenix]

Personally, I enjoy having someone to share life with. I also enjoy being single, but if I'm with someone and wishing I was single...umm...there's something wrong there. For me it's about having my life and my partner having his life and we converge and have an "our" life.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

I am totally in love with my BF and would not want to change that ever, if I have any say in that.

Equally so, we have an open relationship and that takes care of lots of collateral pressure with both of us.

SC

 

[chrisdobro]

That is interesting -- you have a boyfriend and open relationship and you are satisfied with that.

I'm curious -- how does that work ? I mean you love your BF, and have an open relationship and yet still have sex with him that happens to happen naturally. And what kind of pressures does the open relationship relieve ?

Currently me & my partner are in a standstill sex-wise, and I don't know if an open relationship will ease things or worsen things.

 

[DeMan06]

I'm with someone and would prefer to stay with him. I'm happier now than I've been in a long time

You say you're at a standstill... how so? It's not happening at all? Rarely? It feels monotonous (as in you need to spice things up)?

Are you happy with the other aspects of your relationship? If you're unhappy in other areas it could directly effect the sexual aspect.

 

[chrisdobro]

not happening at all.

well sometimes *something* happens, but it is always me initiating it and never him. Monotonous will not apply, as it's pretty much nonexistent.

Other aspects ... seem okay in general, but I am not crazy about some things though, i.e. things like emotional closeness. It's not really there either. It definitely affects the sex I would think.

 

[DeMan06]

From the sound of things you probably need to talk with him. Being college age you may first consider that maybe the end of term stress is getting to him?

I know my BF has been pretty stressed the past couple of weeks with several big projects due (where as I haven't had much). Now that most of his projects are done I'm getting stressed with some tests and then finals coming up (tomorrow, Friday, next week and the week after).

If you don't think that's it then really you're gonna have to sit down and talk. How long have you guys been together? Maybe your each expecting different things out of the relationship (which should be something you talk about, what do you each expect/want). Maybe you're not spending enough alone/quality time? Maybe to much? Maybe one of you is taking the other for granite?

What it comes down to IMO... communicate. Make sure he knows how you're feeling and why and that you know how he's feeling and why, then go from there.

 

[JetSetJake]

I am single but would prefer to find someone. I miss sharing things with somebody and them sharing things with me. And because I'm a very tactile and affectionate person, not having or giving the physical contact (not necessarily sex, but the touches, caresses and cuddles etc) is difficult.

 

[thermodynamics]

Single. And I want to be with someone. Forever.

 

[Motyrassy]

I am single and lonely. I would love to find someone, but I just can't. In fact, I have never been in a relationship because I can't approach people.

 

[nihilis]

I'm single and have never been in a relationship. I want to be in with someone, maybe not forever but at least to give it a try...

Ditto. While I'm not at all opposed to forever, I want to actually try dating and sex and such first before I worry about the distant future. If I found someone that could be a forever, though, I wouldn't turn it down.

 

[Invidious]

I am single and I would say that usually I would rather be with someone. I'm a very affectionate person so it's frustrating to have no one to shower that on.

 

[Eagle653]

I am happily with someone whom I plan to be with forever (if he'll have me forever). I really never knew I could feel love this deeply.

 

[Kulindahr]

Here's an exercise: Send me a PM and "approach" me in the way you would appraoch someone if you walk up to them on the street. Seriously.

I can do that right here:

* sees someone on the street I want to meet *
* goes brain dead *



Right now I'm single.
It's the only condition I know.
I vaguely remember, before I came out, having friends.
I'm forgetting what that was like, and I have no clue how I ever came to have any in the first place.

I'm in a space where I'm not sure I believe "love" is much more than a word for selling greeting cards.
It would be nice to find out, though.

But right now I'd settle for a couple of buddies I can lean up against when the loneliness feels like a weight and breathing becomes hard.

And the thought of being with someone "forever" sounds to me like just a different form of the prison I'm in now.