Situation..trying to get with my straight best friend

[blonguy]

Okay, so I have a straight best friend of mine I've known for about 3 years. We are both in our mid-late 20s and both very straight acting average guys. We hang out around 5 days a week and have becoming closer and closer lately. We are becoming more open with each other. I've liked him for a while and have started to have feelings for him. The issue with me is I am not out as being bisexual to anyone and would find it weird currently because of our circle of friends and other factors.

But for a while when we didn't hang out daily we would be in contact in some form throughout the day, chatting, phone, or whatever. It seemed on each side that we sought to have the other's attention or company. I don't know if this was innocent close friendship or hints of potential for something more. Now that we hang out almost daily we don't IM as much I guess since of course we keep in contact in person I assume.

Now previously I have had a few friends that I have caught feelings for, maybe just 1 or 2, but I've ignored them as most of my friends are really straight and even if I thought they had curiousity I didn't want to be the guy to make that risk. Now I'm thinking I may actually have a good chance to actually take a chance with this friend. I'm trying to be very level-headed and realistic as well as patient about this.

Our friends and coworkers constantly make jokes about how we are bffs, so close, gay together, bromance buddies, in love, etc. They wouldn't expect that I do actually have those thoughts in mind haha.

I have had a few examples for why I think he may be open given the right comfort, situation, and atleast some alcohol so he doesn't hold back as much if he is indeed interested. To just inquire I mentioned giving him a handjob, at first jokingly, then I've mentioned twice more times. I brought this up after drinking atleast some beers. The first time I mentioned it he didn't say anything and I mentioned it again to prompt a response and he said something like 'no thanks' as kind of a response I would expect. Another time I was massaging his stomach and arms and he declined similarly when I mentioned it. He still allowed me to be really close to him and just rub his body some. We have also talked about gay and bisexuals and he stated how he has no problem with it and doesn't care.



After that time I thought okay well he said no again so I should leave it be. But when I think about it, he has no idea if I am serious and doing something like that with a close friend can feel weird at first. He also did not seem repulsed and refuse in a 'freaked out' kind of way. We also continue to hang out the same, and now whenever I want to get touchy and close, he has no problem with it. Now it seems like I am getting closer and he is totally fine with it unlike before. Previously, he wouldn't me rub his shoulder, play with his feet, and other things that were a little too 'feely.' Now I can touch his feet, even caress his pecks and he doesn't say anything.

So since he hasn't had a gf in about 3 years, about like myself, and I know he gets horny to the point where he will even sleep with women let's say he shouldn't be getting with..I wonder if he would be open to doing anything simple as a handjob, maybe even bj from a guy friend. I'm pretty sure I want to try atleast to give it a shot to see how it goes, though I know some may say to avoid that, but I believe if he agrees or even declines it wouldn't kill our friendship. I'm wondering you guys' thoughts on this and the best way to proceed to getting to do something sexual and let him know that I would just like to experiment with him? If he clearly and without a doubt shows he's not interested, I'll be dissappointed by I would like that. I just don't want him to decline because of shyness or because he thinks I'm just messing with him or something like that.

 

[pushupsonmymouth]

I had a best friend that sounds just like him. I did just like you and eventually one day I did offer him a blowjob and he took me up on the offer. I wound up blowing him for quite a few years, even a few years after we were both married. He eventually moved away but we are still in contact. I haven't blown him in probably 18 years now but our friendship never suffered for it. That is all we ever did though. I blew him and nothing was ever reciprocated. That was fine by me though. That's all I wanted.

 

[blonguy]

That sounds like great fun and a cool friend to have!! Yeah, I think I'd be totally fine with no return too. Just being able to blow him and give him pleasure with or without reciprocation. I'm glad it sounds similar and hope that ends up being the case.

I forgot to mention that we plan on hanging, drinking, and watching movies on atleast a weekend night so I'm hoping that gives an opportunity for something to happen.

 

[pushupsonmymouth]

Get drunk with him and steer the conversation toward sex. Eventually get the subject on blowjobs and start "wondering" what it feels like to have a cock in your mouth. Finally, if the moment feels right, ask him if he "dares you" to put his cock in your mouth. If he says no, laugh it off and say "thank goodness". Blame it on being drunk. If he says yes...well, then.

 

[str8nready]

i wouldnt do it ..it can gho bad or right

 

[blonguy]

I'm thinking maybe a better way is to start with a massage maybe? I wonder if I should just try to slow physically see how he responds and then move to the crotch area. We're supposed to hang this week so I want to make sure i'm confident enough to not miss a chance.

 

[123kid]

he's not into guys..........don't shit where you eat

 

[blonguy]

And how do u know or what makes u assume that he's not atleast open?

 

[syoBsUtsuJ]

Well ... it's Sunday; how did your weekend go?

 

[Jdaylight]

he's not into guys..........don't shit where you eat

I second that!!!! Why pursue this...just be a friend!!!!

 

[mario24]

I second that!!!! Why pursue this...just be a friend!!!!

Agreed. It sounds like he's made it pretty clear it's not his thing.. And to his credit he hasnt ditched you as a friend. Keeping pushing you risk looking what you describe as your best friend. Take your explorations elsewhere

 

[bw92116]

It sounds like he's not homophobic, so as he is your best friend, you can let him know you're bisexual. I wouldn't expect anything to happen with him, though, since twice he has turned down your advances. I think he's not interested in you in that way. It's possible that someday, something sexual might happen between you and him, but only if he is the instigator and he initiates it. And it won't be driven by alcohol, it will be driven by horniness and lack of a female. But... do you really want to wait around for that day? If you try to force something to happen with him, you do run the risk of losing the friendship - not because you're gay or bi, but because you tried to force him to do something and that made him uncomfortable. So I would quit trying to do anything. As the others have said, I would just enjoy the friendship with him and try to put the sexual thoughts out of your mind. It's hard to do, I know, when you feel an attraction. But if you make sure to get your sexual needs fulfilled in the meantime, with people who are willing and want to with you, then you will be less bothered by your attraction when you are with him.

 

[youfiad]

I'm thinking maybe a better way is to start with a massage maybe? I wonder if I should just try to slow physically see how he responds and then move to the crotch area. We're supposed to hang this week so I want to make sure i'm confident enough to not miss a chance.

I think this is the way to go. Keep pushing the boundaries and then tell him that you only live once and wouldn't mind trying it. Don't be cheesy about it.

 

[youfiad]

Apparently I read wrong. I kinda skimmed the story and didn't see the part where he denied your advances. If he says that he doesn't get bothered by gays and bisexuals. Tell him! Tell him it's something that you don't want others to know just yet but you wanted him to know, or whatever. That was, he will then either open up to you, or he won't. But then your risks are minimized.

 

[mario24]

I think this is the way to go. Keep pushing the boundaries and then tell him that you only live once and wouldn't mind trying it. Don't be cheesy about it.

That is exactly the WRONG approach for someone you define as your best friend. keep it up you loose them. Enjoy the friendship take you sex elsewhere is the best advice.

 

[youfiad]

That is exactly the WRONG approach for someone you define as your best friend. keep it up you loose them. Enjoy the friendship take you sex elsewhere is the best advice.

I think that's good advice for a general rule of thumb. Like I said, my skimming didn't give me the best impression of what was going on. From what I saw, it sounded as though his friend was letting him do this touching (which usually means he's enjoying it and willing to go further). Like I said in the second response. maybe he should just tell his friend that he's bisexua and that he has these feelinigs that aren't going to get in the way with the friendship if he thinks it's uncomfortable. If his friend can't handle that, then it's not really his friend. If his friend reciprocates the feelings, then something will come out of it.