Sleep(lessness)

[hanshansen]

I've had sleeping problems for years.

It's largely psychological. I can't stop thinking about unresolved issues in my life (or even recently resolved ones), they churn around and around in my brain. Last night I thought about:

- the backlog of work awaiting me on Monday and the fact that I'd be underslept
- an impending meeting with a guy who I had told I had feelings for him
- my finances, which are a little stretched
- longer-term career issues
- sexual frustration
- my slow and tortuous 'coming-out' process
- the things I dislike about a guy who pissed me off recently
- different people who I do like and how I relate to them
- my parents.

This goes as far as scenario-building, replaying conversations (actual and imaginary) in my head, etc., all in this head-achy state of semi-awareness. And I wake up feeling like absolute crap and end up making less progress on the issues, because I don't have the energy to deal with them.

My insomnia is distorting my attitude to things. I want to force my way through issues because I think: once this issue is dealt with, I'll be able to sleep. But life is never issue-free. I'm single (for good reasons), but often at night I have this craving for someone to share a bed with, in large part because I imagine it'll relieve the tension that's keeping me awake. But I did share a bed with someone recently and I was wide awake most of the time because he snored and I was scared of waking him up.

Dear Abby, what can I do? I've tried breathing in and out slowly (and imagining the yoga instructor at my office saying 'inhale, exhale'), I've tried counting forwards and backwards, I've tried repeating 'calm blue ocean'. The obsessive thoughts just keep intruding.

 

[bigalt]

You need to find a "happy place" to go to when you are trying to sleep. somewhere calm and peaceful and it will help you drop off. I do it all the time it really does relax you.

 

[najfus]

There is a supplement that I use occasionally that works great called melatonin.

Maybe worth checking out? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melatonin

 

[bigalt]

Valerian Root will help you sleep.

 

[Singtoh1]

I dont know but if you ever do find a good solution for your sleep disorder, please tell me cause I'm pretty much in the same boat.

 

[versatastic]

I think the problem may be rooted in your anxieties. Sleep aids can knock you out, but they won't solve your problem in the long run. And if you're furiously thinking about all those issues while you're trying to sleep, the excessive activity in your brain will combat anything you've taken. You will still fall asleep late and you will feel worse in the morning because you didn't get a solid 8-10 hours of sleep after taking whatever pill it is. It may well escalate to full blown panic attacks.

You should really talk to someone about the specific issues you're thinking about. Even if they just listen and don't try to fix your problems or tell you their perspective, it'll be a huge load off your shoulders because you're no longer bearing it all alone. If you're too embarrased to reveal your personal troubles to a close friend or a professional, then just focusing your thoughts into a diary/journal also helps alot because you're physically transmitting your issues to something else other than yourself. You're also making a clear and thought out manuscript instead of having a jumble of thoughts bouncing around in your head.

One of my friends had a similar problem dealing with family troubles and his homosexuality. He was clearly affected emotionally and he wouldn't reveal anything personal about himself for fear of giving away any hints of his orientation. He started writing in a notebook as someone suggested to him. He even bought a safe so no one could possibly read it! It definitely helped to resolve some issues enough for him to at least come out to all of us. He says he sleeps as well as can be expected considering his hectic school/work schedule.

 

[vulgar_newcomer]

yeah sleep aid won't settle your issues, this is certain but not getting any sleep will make things no better if not worse as you are ragged out all the time.
Abien CR could help you and you may not wake up feeling like a zombie. Some sleeping pills make you feel drugged the whole day the extended release does not.
I was afraid to take it because I thought I wouldn't wake up and pee on myself. Didn't happen in fact it doesn't work well for me, yet it does help.
Lunstea works a bit better for me and I get some decent sleep which at least make the problems seem more manageable well rested. I see that neither are addicting and I don't take them nightly just from time to time.
Maybe you should consider these to help for a short time, or longer?

We seem to have a problem with a fear or hatred of medical prescribed drugs. It is a factor brought on by abuse and perhaps the overly macho concept of "I can handle everything without pills `cause I'm the man". Thats all bullshit and pills serve a purpose. Not everything of a mental nature can be dealt with by turning the TV off and counting sheep. Not that it is a bad idea to go without TV or music however laying in a bed in complete silence can make the mind race too.