Sleepless in California

[giorgiobaby]

ask your wife why she felt inclined to put her finger there, tell her honestly that it didn't offend or shock you. A little honesty can help alot in your relationship

 

[sixthson]

I love and care so much for my family.

These are YOUR words. Repeat them to yourself...often.

You are a blessed man to have love and a family. The cost is too great to lose that.

If you felt guilty using a hair brush on yourself, how do you think you would feel when you cheated on your wife with another man? Worse yet, when your conscience becomes deadened and you stop feeling guilty, what do you think that would do to your relationship with your wife? Considering the alternative lifestyle is a slippery slope that is likely to destroy your life or, at the very least, your peace of mine.

Your wife need not feel guilty for anything the two of you do while making love. If you enjoyed it, you should tell her. If you don't know how to start that conversation, then get a little playful with her in the same way, either with your fingers or your tongue. She'll get the hint and if she doesn't, be more explicit. Communicate, man.

Again, for the sake of your love for your family, don't become a cheater.

 

[Spiff]

Pursuing a dual secret lifestyle is just asking for more trouble. You will be lying to three people: your wife, the gay lover, and yourself. Unfortunately the Pandora's box has been opened, so you are going to need to somehow deal with the situation you let yourself get into. Eventually someone is going to be hurt, but that is better than lying to them as long as you are with them.

 

[rareboy]

You can explain to your wife that the prostate is the man's gspot and that it is physically pleasurable to have her finger up your ass.

But I wouldn't give anything to be in your shoes.

So you had a gay relationship in the navy but it meant so litlle that you could just brush it off?

I see trouble in your future.

As has been said, you have a wife and kid now. But don't wait until you're 20 years older to tell her and the kids that you've finally figured out that you're gay and are leaving them because you've found some guy you love.

But don't ever use up all your lives when you realize that you might be living a lie and just stick with it because you can't think of any other option.

 

[conrad]

You may be the rare man who remembers his good sex with another man and who honestly delights in sex with his wife and sincerely wishes that his wife could understand his appreciation for the sex he enjoyed on the other side of his sexuality who finally dares to level with his wife. I know men who did precisely that and in both cases it has worked out well; I personally have my doubts, but all men and women are different and all situations are not the same. I had three long term relationships with males before I married and though I have felt no need to stray I admit to myself and here that as one who has known the love of both men and women I do not wish to forget those relationships. All three men are still my good friends. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[KaraBulut]

If you and your wife have a healthy sex life and good communication, you should be able to tell each other what you enjoy and when you are doing things for each other that feel good.

The next time you and your wife are in having sex, guide your wife's hand to where you want it to be and tell her that you enjoy it when she plays with your ass.

Perhaps you may be able to reach a point where you are able to experiment further with sex toys together.

This resolves your dilemma about your desire for anal pleasure. I'm not sure it will completely provide everything that you can have with another man, though.

 

[rareboy]

That hurt. The gay relationship started when I was raped by a Navy SEAL. To keep the confrontation from becoming too violent I co-operated. What I didn't know was how much I would enjoy it and a relationship developed.

As my deployment changed and we could no longer see one another, I began to realize how controlling that relationship was and getting away was probably the best thing.

I do miss the physical aspects of that relationship, but I still carry a lot of emotional baggage locked a way in my head from those days.

The nature of your 'relationship' in the Navy certainly makes your ability to walk away from it easier to understand. But to the crux of the matter; as I suspected there was a lot more going on than just getting something up your ass.

I'm going to suggest that you try to find a way of talking this navy experience through with a good counsellor, because otherwise, if you don't unload some of the baggage you're carrying around with you, I think you're a ticking time bomb.

Have you ever told your wife that you were raped while in the Navy?

 

[KaraBulut]

I'm going to suggest that you try to find a way of talking this navy experience through with a good counsellor, because otherwise, if you don't unload some of the baggage you're carrying around with you, I think you're a ticking time bomb.

I agree. Given the state of things with the old relationship and with your wife, talking with a counselor to sort all of this out is in everyone's best interest.