Slept with friend

[dfwjacker]

You can't control whether or not your friend cheats on his wife, but you can control whether or not you cheat on your boyfriend.

If you want to sleep with other men, be honest about it to your boyfriend so that he has some choice in the matter, or just break up with him.

I'm not in a position to tell you not to sleep with a married friend because I'm guilty of doing that myself. Though, it's really your friend's responsibility to protect his own marriage.

 

[supergurl]

No!! I Have To Say That I Have Been Cheated On......it Hurts Like Hell!! If I Knew Your Bf I Would So Tell Him. Expose All Your Damn Secerts...ugh!! Are You Happy With Your Bf?? If Not Shit I'm Sure Someone Else Will Be!!!

I Hate Cheaters!!!!!

Ugh!!!

 

[newbiguy]

And of course none of the above posters have ever cheated in any way shape or form have they!!!!

Is there a farm nearby because i can sure smell bullshit

 

[natedogg323]

And of course none of the above posters have ever cheated in any way shape or form have they!!!!

Is there a farm nearby because i can sure smell bullshit

No I haven't! Why? Because i have standards and morals. Just because some people choose not to be able to control themselves doesn't mean that everyone is a pig. Cheating is a choice and responsible people that believe in not hurting someone your "supposed" to be committed too don't cheat.

So don't act like you know everyone that has posted in this thread. Cause your generalizations are whats "bullshit"

 

[SilverRRCloud]

I don't agree with this... I feel I am EVOLVED enough to override my primal animal instincts... I mean saying I am wired to go hump everything means I am no more evolved than my dog...

Sorry I am human and with being human I have emotions and having someone who can't respect those emotions means that they are pretty low...

This has nothing to do with societal values placed on people. It has everything to do with respect and maturity. If you respect and love someone you aren't going to go fuck around on them because you can't overcome your base instincts.
I mean hell while your at it next time your at a bar why don't you walk up to some guy and smash him over the head and drag him back to your cave. Or better yet just pee in the corner to "mark" your territory.

We have emotions and higher reasoning for a reason..it's what makes us humans... it's what separates us from common animals... to think that some people can't see this and simply chose to go with their instincts make them no better than common animals.

If you can't respect your partner's feelings and emotions or your friends wife's feelings and emotions you are no better than a common garden slug.

You owe it to yourself, your partner, your friend, and his wife to be honest and intelligent...

Stop looking for justification for your own misdeeds and be a responsible adult HUMAN and own up to it.

Sadly, this still does not explain the phenomenon of mass-cheating and it equally so, fails to explain as to why would you be uncritically using your EVOLUTION to override any instinct, if you will, without really having any objective reason for doing so.

If you choose not to cheat, you certainly have all the respect and admiration of most of the fellow JUBers. And no one should be telling you what to do with your life, unless asked to do so. If you feel that you OWE it to any one, good for you.

Many of us do not share that feeling. And many people do not see any source of indebtitude in the first place.

Last but not least. I am certainly not advocating the idea that people should be giving promises and wovs only to break them. I have been trying to explain, why I feel that the concept of m2m fidelity is essentially flawed.

SC

 

[PortGuyBlue]

Ok, first of all my boyfriend and I have an open relationship. I do love him and we have agreed to see other people. There is enough pressure on gay couples without adding the additional one of strict monogamy. Not that there are that many temptations in this sleepy NH town of 22k. I know that this is not how everyone views committed relationships, but it has worked for us since 1992.

I have not had sex with my married friend since the end of the summer, but I'll keep you all posted,

 

[natedogg323]

There is enough pressure on gay couples without adding the additional one of strict monogamy.

I never realized that monogamy was "pressure"

Too each his own I guess.....

 

[Liam84215]

I never realized that monogamy was "pressure"

Too each his own I guess.....

yeah it shouldn't be pressure if true love is there, monogamy should be easy and something desired

 

[Just_Believe18]

Ok, first of all my boyfriend and I have an open relationship. I do love him and we have agreed to see other people. There is enough pressure on gay couples without adding the additional one of strict monogamy. Not that there are that many temptations in this sleepy NH town of 22k. I know that this is not how everyone views committed relationships, but it has worked for us since 1992.

I have not had sex with my married friend since the end of the summer, but I'll keep you all posted,

Well then, I hope you show the same respect to his wife, who made vows with him at an altar, in front of friends and family.

 

[jhmphx]

OMG...what's with the grand religious consternation...I'm shocked so many gay men are so quick to defend something as inane as "marriage."

I would think that gay men, if no one else, would understand the silliness of something as confining, restrictive, heteronormative, sexist, and ultimately failing (last I heard 50% failure isn't a good indication of success for anything) as the social defintion of "marriage," not to mention the impossibility and uselessness of monogamy.

It sounds to me like there's a lot of homonormative gays with a special kind of internailzed homophobia that would make it seem so important to emulate a dying hetero institution like marriage.

Marriage is wrong...and so is faux marriage "coupling." Let's move on from judging people whose sexual lifewords don't mirror your pathetic attempt to validate your existence by trying to be "as good as straight people." We're better because we've survived the violence of social constraints and forged our own life worlds.

My advice: follow the pleasure and if the others can't deal, fuck 'em.

 

[Telstra]

I have no pitty for cheater's, I could never do that to someone I love and care about. Which must be something you are lacking.

SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME.

I don't think he need ur pity.
There is NOTHING to be a shame about. NOTHING what so ever.

 

[NineOfClubs]

^I agree with you, Telstra.

Having experienced a handful of m2m relationships in my life, I have to say that my current (8 years) open relationship is the most fulfilling. Neither of us has much sex outside the relationship, but when and if we do, it's not the dramatic "deal-breaker" that the monogamists would make of it.

Sex and love are two different things. I learned this early, and it's saved me from so much of the stress and anxiety that all these other guys go through.

BTW, many, many monogamous couples I've known over the years have at least one partner (if not both) who is lying to the other and having sex on the side. This eventually causes breakups between guys who should have been mature enough to open their relationships; had they done so, they'd still be together...