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Slightly Depressed
ohhi12

ohhi12

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so i posted before in a thread about how i'm studying abroad in france and how there are so many gorgeous people over here. but i found myself crushing on my fellow american friend.

i don't know why i thought it was realistic that anything would happen between us. i mean he's straight, but i find him awkward sometimes around me that may indicate that he has some sort of attraction toward me. but he's straight, case closed.

but i just can't get him outta my head. tonight he just hooked up with this gorgeous spanish girl, and that killed me. :cry:

i feel terrible about it. i'm trying so hard to get over this crush but it's so hard since i see him every fuckin' day! and i just feel just as bad because i just kept wishing something would go wrong with them.

i dunno, i should feel happy for him. he's liked her for a while. anyways, i'm just venting. thank you for your time.
 
they haven't even left the room since they started makin' out hours ago. god, this sucks. :(

i need something/one to cuddle with.
 
i'm going through the same exact thing! falling for str8 friends always sucks, esp when their actions seem to feed into the bad thoughts lol
 
You'll be alright, friend. You will find someone someday who will return your interests. Then this guy will seem a lifetime ago, and your feelings ephemeral. But it'll only last as long as you choose to pine over something you can't have.
 
ohhi12 said:
i dunno, i should feel happy for him. he's liked her for a while. anyways, i'm just venting. thank you for your time.
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Step away from this friendship for a while. Get out, meet other people. Stop pining over this dude and have a little fun. If you're in one of the bigger cities like Paris you'll be meeting cool people from all over Europe. Awesome place to be a student. Europeans aren't as uptight as us Americans so its not hard to meet cool people to hang out with. And if you want a pretty boy you won't have to look too far to find one over there.

Ah, what fond memories I have of my time in Europe! I'd give anything to be younger and back in college again. My point is this: enjoy yourself. Life is short and time goes by quickly. You want to create good memories of time there, so get busy about it. All that this American guy is ever going to be to you is a friend...and thats cool, too. But if the situ is causing you to feel depressed then perhaps this friendship isn't a good thing for you. Don't feel too bad about it though because at the end of the day college isn't all that different from high school. By that I mean that most of the people you know while you're there will no longer be a part of your life after you graduate. So...live your life, and be happy.
 
He's straight. You can't have him. If you confessed your feelings, he will feel weird towards you and not talk to you AT ALL. It's awkward with you two because he probably sees you like him. It's wishful thinking and you're looking too much into the situation. He does NOT like you. If he made out with a girl, he's definitely straight. There's no IFs or BUTs. If he was "bicurious" or "bisexual", I'm sure he would've hit on you by now if he's as good looking as you make him sound. And let's say he REALLY was bicurious/bisexual, if he liked you, again, you would've known by now, so you're probably not his type. Straight people do it too... a nerdy girl doesn't always end up with a jock.

I'm sorry I had to be so blunt, but sugar coating won't help you a bit. You just need to realize this, and move on. I've felt that way towards guys before, but I got over that sort of clinginess. It ruins friendships and your social life, so do not go that route.
 
I've always loved people who say their sorry they have to be blunt or brutally honest or the like. They aren't sorry. In 99% of the cases they're quite happy to be the bearers of bad news.
 
i don't think i've clarified this. i know he's straight, i know things will never go anywhere with him, and i know it's unhealthy to feel this way about him. but i can't just space myself away from him. and i don't think our friendship will fade away in the long run. his friendship (and others i have here) has been the highlight of my time in europe so far.

we have so many common interests and similarities. i've already told him (and another one of our friends) things about myself that i thought i couldn't tell other people. last weekend we went to amsterdam where i had a couple anxiety attacks, and shit went down between me and someone in our study abroad program. he apologized to me about how he didn't handle the situation well enough and took my side.

i'm not the kind of person who makes friends so easily. i can't just walk up to random people and start conversations. i can only be myself when i'm comfortable, and for now that means when i meet people while i'm hanging out with him and our other friends.

i'm not trying to argue. i just wanted to clarify things.

and by the way, i'm slowly but surely getting over it.
 
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