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Slowly learning to accept

bhandsome

bhandsome

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I have posted on here a few times before asking for help in figuring out whether I am gay or not. I honestly have no clue, but I am slowly starting to accept myself for who I am. As of late, I have been more attracted to guys than girls. I find women beautiful and attractive but don't get aroused by them.

I have never had a girlfriend or done anything sexually with a guy or girl, so I have never experimented to see what I like. I found it funny that on my birthday party last year, I was blacked out drunk and my frat brothers told me I was going around kissing on their necks #-o! It's funny cause when we are around each other we act gay which is probably why they don't think I'm gay, especially from doing that haha.

I'm not really worried too much about coming out when I finally do it; my mom has told me more than once in convo. that if I was ever gay she would accept me and still love me, but being from a Christian household she states that God doesn't necessarily agree with the lifestyle, but still loves everyone regardless.

As or right now I want to figure out my sexuality, and at the age of 20 I think I want to figure it out soon.
 
well, you already said it, you're slowly learning to accept. I believe if you did use that phrase because you know you're gay but you find it hard to deal with and actually accept it. Don't worry go in your own pace, for some it's easier than for others. I'm glad you have a supportive mom, it'll make it easier when you decide to come out.
I think you should start trying to experiment around gay environments and meet people there, you may or may not like the gay scene as many others but contact with gay people will help you figure it out.

I hope this actually help you and I wish you luck mate, keep us posted with your progress.
 
Gay, Bi or whatever. The important thing isn't WHAT you are, but that you are OK with it. You will find your preference soon enough, THEN you can decide if you even want to label yourself.

At 20 you are still young. Go ye forth and experiment! (and don't forget to wear a condom [-X )
 
I have a few gay friends but I dont really have an interest in talking to them. Personally I dont really have much of a group to choose from who are gay. All the people I associate with are straight. At my school we have a lgbt group cause if I join them im basically coming out.
 
bhandsome said:
I have a few gay friends but I dont really have an interest in talking to them. Personally I dont really have much of a group to choose from who are gay. All the people I associate with are straight. At my school we have a lgbt group cause if I join them im basically coming out.
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if you're not interested in talking to them, maybe they're not your truly friends. Anyway what I meant was that you should get out there and see what's going on (gay scene, clubs, cafes, etc) that can help you to sort things out and meeting new people as well. Groups are helpful but as you said that basically means coming out, and I have the sense you're not ready for that or you just don't want it to happen yet. That's something nobody can decide but you. ..|
 
You're making a lot of strides--congratulations. I don't know anyone who has awakened one morning with an "aha!" and had themselves figured out. For most of us, it takes a long time to figure things out and to accept us for who we are. Just keep plugging away at it as time allows, and you'll get there.

bhandsome said:
I'm not really worried too much about coming out when I finally do it; my mom has told me more than once in convo. that if I was ever gay she would accept me and still love me, but being from a Christian household she states that God doesn't necessarily agree with the lifestyle, but still loves everyone regardless.
Click to expand...

I obviously don't know your mother, but in my experience, when mothers say something like this...they know and are trying to open the door for a conversation when you're ready. I think that's a really neat and sensitive thing to do.
 
Thanks for the responses so far. It's going to take time, but I think I can get there when the time is right.
 
You're doing great! When you can honestly appraise yourself and grow and change, you're on the right path. Congrats!
 
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