Smalltalk: "Do you have a girlfriend?" How do YOU phrase it?

[blogthissucker]

I was just reading a thread started by a guy who's not sure how to deal with casual acquaintances asking if he's seeing any girls (http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=340510). It got me thinking... how do gay guys normally bring up relationships in smalltalk with strangers?

Do you...
-Act as though people are straight until proven otherwise (to a guy: "Do you have a girlfriend?")?
-Guess whether someone is straight or gay and then ask (to a flamboyant guy: "Do you have a boyfriend?")?
-Avoid gender altogether ("Are you seeing anyone?")?
-Explicitly include both genders ("Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?")?
-Avoid the subject unless someone else brings it up?

In my experience, most people ask if you've got a girfriend, but a few will ask if you're seeing any girls or guys. I haven't had anyone explicitly include both genders since I came out, but when I was in the closet I actually found it more embarassing for people to mention both. Although the intention was presumably to make it clear that they didn't care, I more got the impression that they thought I was gay, and it made me uncomfortable.

 

[medic1]

If i had to ask i would make it Gender non-specified ie Do you have a partner ?

 

[altlover85]

I would ask if they were seeing anyone and leave it gender non-specific. I think it's rude to presume one way or the other.

 

[ecovex]

i would always ask if they have a girlfriend..

 

[wastedtime]

Are you seeing anyone? or Anyone special in your life?

 

[DarkHelios]

I never feel the need to ask.

If I did, I'd probably go with "Are you seeing someone?"

 

[Seasoned]

How about acting as if everyone were gay until there was evidence to the contrary?