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Sniffing footballers' arses!

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"I'm 115 year old, I bin comin' to see Leeds United since club were founded in 1919 and they're still fuckin' shit!"
 
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You are probably thinking that THFC stands for Tottenham Hotspur Football Club but you would be wrong! It actually stands for

"TOUCH HERE FOR CRAP!"
 
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The beautiful 22 year old KAI HAVERTZ but I haven't been able to find a single photo of him with a girl! Very promising indeed!
 
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Great pairing but unfortunately PAULO DYBALA is ON the bottom when in actual fact he needs to BE the bottom!
 
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ROS HASLAM!

Ros Has lamb!? I would have said it was more Ros Has beef from that angle!
 
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Another gorgeous guy from Spurs with a double-barrelled name that escapes me! One thing's for sure! He'd certainly get both barrels from me!
 
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JAMAL LOWE! If I were the physio here my head would be so far up Jamal's arse that when he opened his mouth there would be TWO tongues poking out!
 
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TYRONE MINGS!

Nothing minging about that arse!

- - - Updated - - -

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Mexican footballer

JONATHAN DOS SANTOS!
 
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Trying to think of an alternative meaning for the FIFA logo on his shirt! I will get there but you chaps might cum up with one first!
 
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This little scally chav with his tattoos and milk white skin belongs to the Scally Chav gay porn site! His sweet little pink pucker is just crying out to be rimmed!
 
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Young golfer TODD CLEMENTS !

" Please sit on my face!"

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Love the last pic! You can almost feel the tension exuding from Todd as he struggles with the desire to be fucked in the bushes by an older man and the guilt of cheating on his girlfriend!
 
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Two horny boxers squaring up to each other! Will this end in a passionate snog!? If only!

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PADDY PIMBLETT and LUIGI VENDRAMINI!
 
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We would love to have you in the first team but we can't get anyone to insure us against the damage that thing could do on and off the pitch! However the nozzle on our industrial hoover has just packed up so there is a job opportunity there!

By the way thanks very much for agreeing to be the strippagram at Brandon William's 21st birthday party! Apparently he won't be able to walk for a week but it will be a night he will never forget! How gracious of his girlfriend to indulge his need for both fish and meat!
 
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So once you've tested my heartbeat you have to monitor how many times a minute my pucker hole expands and contracts! Wow! You guys are so thorough! It's so comforting to know that my health is in such good hands!
 
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A random arsehole that defies the old English adage

" it's not to be sniffed at!"
 
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