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Sniffing footballers' arses!

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"Oh Johnny sweetheart you've taken a nasty knock to the head there! Just open your legs baby and I'll kiss it better!"
 
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"Hey Gareth you may be 51 years old but I'd very happily enter through your south gate!
 
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20 year old ARTHUR OKONKWO!

Well King Arthur was very famous for his round table and his sword EXCALIBUR!

I am sure that this Arthur would not disappoint when it cums to his round (purple) head and as for his ten inch sword........
 
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Given the recent escalation of hostilities between Russia and the Ukraine I am convinced that 22 year old Ukrainian soccer player VITALIY MYKOLENKO can be relied upon to find something to put in Putin to defuse the situation!
 
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Although this photo tends to suggest that he prefers being on the receiving end!
 
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Hunky Austrian footballer ALESSANDRO SCHOPF hits 28 on 7 February!
Schopf is German for hair and I would be happy to conduct an in-depth study of the hair surrounding his pretty pink pucker!
 
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DOMINIC SZLOBOSLAI!

Would happily run my olfactory gear round those smelly little babies and then szloboslai all over them!
 
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"So what are you boys doing here!?"

"We were told that they were conducting auditions for the part of SNOW WHITE!"

"Snow White!?"

"Yep! We were told to pitch up in our tightest, whitest brightest underpants!"

"OK so what about the seven dwarves!?"

"Well here cum some of them now!"
 
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I've always wanted to do this but have never been able to do so! So artistic!
 
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LORENA BOBBITT is a woman after my own heart!

She doesn't like to see anything wasted!
 
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"Well it's hard with a bulbous head! Actually it feels just like your cock! Can I open my eyes now!?"
 
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Good to see CHRISTIAN PULISIC joining the ever expanding throng ( "throng" I said not "thong!") of number 10s!!!
 
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I wonder which of the Chelsea team have had that hand nestling between their buns!?!!!!
 
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In 2018 there was a campaign aimed at combatting domestic abuse against women and certain footballers elected to wear a fleck of red paint across their cheek to show solidarity with such a campaign!
One wonders whether the face of MASON GREENWOOD is now completely red as an a act of contrition!
 
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It is generally considered rude for people to turn their back on.you but I am happy to make an exception when it cums to cyclists!

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Happy 37th birthday to Cristiano Ronaldo!

Can't stand the twat but my commiserations for last night and I would be happy to give you a birthday rim by way of compensation!
 
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