loppyears
Slut
I don't need lots of men to make me happy, just one would do me fine.
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So a single partner is a bad idea then?
- Thread starter neruda
- Start date
This is true in many relationships, gay and straight.
You don't stop loving someone because the sex is gone, but you have to work something out (other than JO) to meet your needs.
Your solution is a fairly common compromise.
Young people, dreaming of their ideal lover, have no idea whatsover what it's like to spend decades with the same person.
Dave and yours truly.....11 + years......(we make it 12 in November!)
I never imagined that I would have found a love like this one after my first boyfriend was taken from me by a car crash.
Dave's the guy I want to grow old with.....
I never imagined that I would have found a love like this one after my first boyfriend was taken from me by a car crash.
Dave's the guy I want to grow old with.....
neruda
Ex isled
Have folks poked fun at you for holding that opinion?
Or considered you kinda strange?
Different?
Just curious
Just_Believe18
of the 99%
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^ Oh, I agree with Westwood Blues, Neruda. The gay world is dismal. Everyone's had everybody. There's so much drama and so many guys with substance abuse and psychological problems (actually diagnosed). It's a minority within a minority to actually find a decent guy you can call friend or lover.
There's hope for any relationship to last a lifetime. How you want to live it is completely up to you. There is no impossible.
There's hope for any relationship to last a lifetime. How you want to live it is completely up to you. There is no impossible.
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
>>>And then when you throw in all the outside influences that can damage the relationship, your odds are now down to Superlotto dimensions...
Really and truly? Because roughly half of the gay guys I know are in what I'd call stable, longterm, presumably-lifelong relationships. Well, wait, I'm counting both partners, so let's say a third of them are. Sure, something MIGHT happen, and they might break up, but I'd say they're as stable as any straight couple that's been married for several years. And 1 out of 3 is hardly longshot odds.
This "gay world" you speak of...can't say I've been there. Maybe you mean the nightclub/bath house scene? The place where people go for quick hook-ups and sex? I'm not demeaning those places, but yes, you're not going to find a lot of "committed couples" there.
Lex
Really and truly? Because roughly half of the gay guys I know are in what I'd call stable, longterm, presumably-lifelong relationships. Well, wait, I'm counting both partners, so let's say a third of them are. Sure, something MIGHT happen, and they might break up, but I'd say they're as stable as any straight couple that's been married for several years. And 1 out of 3 is hardly longshot odds.
This "gay world" you speak of...can't say I've been there. Maybe you mean the nightclub/bath house scene? The place where people go for quick hook-ups and sex? I'm not demeaning those places, but yes, you're not going to find a lot of "committed couples" there.
Lex
JackFTwist
no custom user title
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37 is way too young (77 would be too young, 87 maybe) for someone to have lost all interest in sex and the lack of intimacy and sex in a relationship will probably kill it in time
some medical exams to start would be good, and then depending, some therapy, sole opr couples because at 37 you should be peaking with a long gradual down hill slope and lack of physical intimacy is the visible ice of a huge submerge iceberg
some medical exams to start would be good, and then depending, some therapy, sole opr couples because at 37 you should be peaking with a long gradual down hill slope and lack of physical intimacy is the visible ice of a huge submerge iceberg
S
Soilwork
Guest
Don't go for second best, baby.
If you're not getting what you need from a relationship, it's not the relationship for you.
And yes, you're cheating. If he thinks he's in a monogamous relationship and he's not.. that's not fair to him.
Wish I had better news.
JayHawk
Rambunctiously Pugnacious
I can tell you that I have spent right around fifteen years fucking everything that looked back at me. Very very good times but very very casual sex is empty. I realized while I was still a fucking rock solid 'boy looking' animal who fed on young men that I should find something worthwhile to latch onto.
I found James.
He knew at a younger age he wanted more than a new nightly fuck so we have been together for 6 years now. It is entirely different but I now know what it is to have a life long friend who always exist it seems just for me. I know what it is to be that supporting lover. Thats what I cherish. Sex is Sex.
We have both brought people into this relationship and it does not work. We tried three times. Him once and me twice. ALthough both of us went into the experience saying we were fine and good and nothing would bother us it is just sex.....well that is not how it works.
Love occurs between two people. There is good and bad in everything. SO you have to decide is a life long partener who supports you worth it? Or will a fuck everynow and again from a stranger do for you? How about when ya get really old and you gotta shell out cash for pleasure?
For me it is no choice, hands down I love my Boyfriend. I have done more, creatively sustained more, increased my net worth, broadened my base of acceptance and learned to accpet love on loves terms.
I could have the life of Rebecca but would I ever be satisfied with the one fuck or would I always crave more? SO If I am never satisfied then do I die in need?
To me there is only one choice. Play when your young but be safe so you will have old age. And find your soul at some point to build your life with.
I found James.
He knew at a younger age he wanted more than a new nightly fuck so we have been together for 6 years now. It is entirely different but I now know what it is to have a life long friend who always exist it seems just for me. I know what it is to be that supporting lover. Thats what I cherish. Sex is Sex.
We have both brought people into this relationship and it does not work. We tried three times. Him once and me twice. ALthough both of us went into the experience saying we were fine and good and nothing would bother us it is just sex.....well that is not how it works.
Love occurs between two people. There is good and bad in everything. SO you have to decide is a life long partener who supports you worth it? Or will a fuck everynow and again from a stranger do for you? How about when ya get really old and you gotta shell out cash for pleasure?
For me it is no choice, hands down I love my Boyfriend. I have done more, creatively sustained more, increased my net worth, broadened my base of acceptance and learned to accpet love on loves terms.
I could have the life of Rebecca but would I ever be satisfied with the one fuck or would I always crave more? SO If I am never satisfied then do I die in need?
To me there is only one choice. Play when your young but be safe so you will have old age. And find your soul at some point to build your life with.
removed/eM.
#3 is part of it. But mostly I just don't think I'm built for serious long-term relationships. All that sharing your life, two-become-one, you-complete-me stuff doesnt sound appealing to me at all. There really isn't anybody I like that much. More than that, I can't even imagine liking someone enough to wanna have that kind of relationship.
My ideal would be to have a life-long friend with benefits. We'd see each other maybe once a week and wouldnt be exclusive. Very casual, just sex and friendship. But the problem with these types of relationships is that the other guy is liable to leave at any time or find someone else. There's never any stability with the FWB. So until I find that, I'll just stick with the easy-dick-easy-fuck world.
My ideal would be to have a life-long friend with benefits. We'd see each other maybe once a week and wouldnt be exclusive. Very casual, just sex and friendship. But the problem with these types of relationships is that the other guy is liable to leave at any time or find someone else. There's never any stability with the FWB. So until I find that, I'll just stick with the easy-dick-easy-fuck world.
MrBarbrey
JUB Addict
Myself i would rather stick with one person then multi just to many worries
M
MRMATTX2
Guest
So true. They are out there, though, of this I am sure.
To answer the question, No, a single partner is not a bad idea. I've never had that, for various reasons. But, who knows....if I've learned anything in life it's that you just never know who may show up tomorrow.
You misunderstand me... I guess I wasn't very clear... the Superlotto odds are on having one relationship with one man and it lasting all your whole life long. How many of those friends you mentioned are on their second or tenth boyfriend?
A good half of the guys over thirty I know are paired up. But not one of those couples are each-others' first boyfriends... no, wait, there is one couple who are each-others' first serious relationship, and they've been together for something like forty years. But they're something of an anomaly... they're the Superlotto winners (plus, they weren't strictly monogamous).
The reality is that you are most likely going to go through a few relationships before you find The One, and you might even never find The One. That's what I was trying to get at with my lottery analogy.