The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

So angry at both myself and my boyfriend

I think the time out of town is a good opportunity to move yourself out of there. I've known people on both sides of relationships like that and it isn't something you want to be involved in. Eventually, he will likely find another partner to cheat on you with whom he decides he also likes. It will go from a one night stand into something more regular. Eventually, you'll either find out and leave him or you'll do something trivial and he'll use it as an excuse to leave you.

I can tell you that in a healthy relationship, one isn't regularly threatening to leave the other. It's one thing if it is said in the heat of the moment and the person feels awful about it right away but every week without remorse?

What are you even getting out of this relationship? If you take care of him and he's off having sex with people other than you isn't he basically just your landlord? Let's not forget the alcoholism which, unless you also become an alcoholic will likely destroy the relationship at some point anyhow. You sound like you could do much better.

You probably expected this response but wanted to hear someone give you a reason to stay with him because you love him. The problem is, he doesn't love you. No one would do those kinds of things to someone they love. I don't think anyone can find a good reason for you to stay and I can only imagine how hard it would be if you really love him but in the end I do think you'd be better off getting out now on your own terms than being hurt much worse if he ends it with you.
 
So hopefully you now know what you should do.
 
racer2438 said:
You already know the answer to this, you really do..

It is in your gut and tearing at you this whole time.

It's just if you want to go through with it and do whats right for you.

Bf's come and go, but bottom line is you have take care of your self first b4 you can take care of someone else..

Time to move on...
Click to expand...

^^QFT.

Relationships are work. But they aren't supposed to feel like work.

You're asking the question and the guys here are just affirming the answer that you already know.

Pack up. Leave. Mourn. Move on.
 
Thanks a lot guys, I guess it is that obvious. Pity.

I was hoping to give you all a conclusion of what's happened, but as things are I probably won't have the chat with him until later.

Things haven't improved. We had a big serious chat and I was telling him that the time apart would show how the relationship was working. I said that he needed to stop drinking, and to behave more like a boyfriend, and that in return I would work on my faults. So we said goodbye with a hug at the station, and here I am in another part of the country.

Later in the day, when I had got off the train and was walking home, he called me to say he was missing me, and to tell me about this new religious programme he'd seen. He's always struggled with his faith, because he had been raised as a Christian and taught that being gay was a sin. Without getting into details, this programme he saw suggested that there was still a god, but not the Christian one. He was telling me how significant this was to him, as for the past few months he's felt as if he's been sinning a lot, but now that his actions may not have been sins he felt like "nothing was stopping him". Stopping him from what? I can only imagine the sinning meant his behaviour while drunk, and I believe he confirmed this by saying now he can "live life to the fullest". This is not the behaviour of a man who is trying to patch up a damaged relationship.

Turns out he went drinking last night and didn't return my calls anyway, so I'm very angry. I plan to break up with him later today.
 
This is a guy who needs to be in AA.

But he won't.

You'll be well rid of him and his pathological lies.
 
Sorry that it didn't work but you tried. There is someone out there that is deserving of your love and affection. Someone that will appreciate it and return the same love a affection to you. This guy is so consumed with himself it's disgusting. The ONLY thing he cares about is himself. Someday he will realize what he had and what he lost.

I know it's hard and it hurts but honestly. How much are you hurting every day with this jackass? Dump him, heal yourself and find someone that will love and respect you.

I wish you nothing but the best.

Steven.
 
Titanic said:
Thanks a lot guys, I guess it is that obvious. Pity.

I was hoping to give you all a conclusion of what's happened, but as things are I probably won't have the chat with him until later.

Things haven't improved.
Click to expand...
Things haven't improved because you still think there might be more to the story to tell. This is absolutely the most obvious situation I've seen in a while, and the only conclusion is "get out."


Titanic said:
I plan to break up with him later today.
Click to expand...

That's the first thing you've said that I can follow. But even "later today" seems too late. I would just break up with him in my mind, be gone from his little alcoholic pit of degradation without another word, and let him figure it out on his own, if even he notices. Literally not one more word. No goodbye. No "Here's your key." No "we tried." No "I tried." It is all futile.

I hope one day you will fall in love and be loved back so you will understand from your own experience that this wasn't it.
 
Dump this asshole. You may love him but he has NO clue how to operate in a relationship.

Save yourself, get out of this abusive relationship now. End of story.
 
OP I agree with the other posters this guy is a LOSER boy run as fast as you can! You need to get away from this guy ASAP!
I know it's going to be hard honey BUT you MUST LEAVE HIM! He is just destroying your self esteem and confidence. You deserve better!
 
Others have given you advice, so all I'll say is this.
This bf is an abusive alcoholic and the sooner you get away from him, the better.
 
Let me me the next to last guy on this forum to tell you that you can do better.

This guy is a waste of your time....
 
He sounds like a total tool. There is absolutely no way I would stay with him. Actually I would have walked out when he brought home TWO guys to sleep with and continued to try with you present. Alcoholism is not an excuse and being drunk does not give one any kind of free pass.

You deserve to be with someone that respects you, among other things, and this guy clearly doesn't give a shit if he hurts you. Find someone that does.
 
We all must have WILDLY different standards because if my boyfriend brought home two random guys, not even necessarily for sex, there would be HUGE issues.

Meanwhile, your BOYFRIEND brought home two guys to HAVE SEX WITH, and you let that happen?! WTF?!
 
Holy return of the Zombie Thread batman.

Yes, it's back from the dead. And our OP has not posted since September. Hi, if you're out there!
 
bankside said:
Holy return of the Zombie Thread batman.

Yes, it's back from the dead. And our OP has not posted since September. Hi, if you're out there!
Click to expand...



While I would like to know what happened I agree. This thread was dormant for months and so was another above it that was brought back to life. Nothing wrong with it. just kinda interesting.

Steven.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top