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So close , but I couldn't . . . . Why ? ? ? ?

momoman

momoman

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Okay, today at work I was working with this guy the same age as me, 18. He looked straight at me and then smiled slightly, went a little red then turned back to what he was doing. I stopped the "straighty" accent I have learned to adopt where I think my "lisp-ish" voice won't be liked, and he did the same, flirting with me the entire shift.

Sample convo:

"Hey, uhh, can I put this trash in here?" -- Meaning my bin when there was one RIGHT where he was working, he walked 10 metres to use mine and made a real show of leaning down to drop it nice and slow.

"Sure." -- He did it and stared at me for like 2 seconds, then walked back to where he was previous.

"Umm, have a nice shift?" -- Asking me after I had logged off and was walking out.

"Yeah, you?"

"Better than all my others, I suppose..." -- I thought this referred to me.

"Aww why's that? Need to learn your secret!"

"Uhh..."

We then walked down two separate rows to the front door and he left before me. I was waiting for my ride and he was there staring at me from the other side of the parking lot, about 7 metres away. He looked like he REALLY wanted me to make a move, and I COULDN'T DO IT. I hate myself right now and seriously if I don't start getting independent and less anti-social, I'll vow to stay single and a virgin from now until the day I die :P

I have several crushes at my high school, which I am 1,000,000 % sure they are ALL straight. I came out to the guidance counsellor and she says there are plenty of gay men in the 12th Grade (Senior Year for you american readers, we turn 18 for Grade 12 here in Australia) but I haven't met ANY yet, or am I again too narrow minded, uptight and anti-social. How can I get "out there" and do it?

momoman
 
How can I get "out there" and do it?
Click to expand...

Flirty talk is okay, but try to move to subjects of substance.

And then just ask the guy if he'd like to catch a movie with you and a bite after sometime.

Unless he's really hot and you both just want to fuck like rabbits. Then just ask him if he'd like to come over for a bite and a movie on the weekend and then give him your number and address and hope for the best.

Oh. And don't fuck around with co-workers.
 
I don't usually work with him, so I don't think that'll be a problem. That's why I was thinking about trying it out....oh well, too late now. I guess it'll happen for me soon. Just have to keep my fingers X'd. :-)

Thanks,

momoman
 
You know where he works. Find out what his name is. Ask him to go to a movie or coffee or hang out. Doesn't have to be a "date". Just tell him you think he's a cool guy and you would like to hang out.

Go from there....ya obviously both like each other from a friendship prospective.

Where there's a will there's a way!

Figure it out!
 
As a fellow young Melbournian, there are plenty of gays around, over time your "gaydar" will improve.
 
Hey momoman,

You get out there and do it by learning from experiences like this one... you get better at gauging people, you get better at reading their signals and signs and you get better at making the first move simply by "getting out there" as you put it.

All I would say to you is to be mindful of what you want out of meeting new guys and be clear in your own mind how to handle that situation.

Because one day you will make the first move or someone will do it for you. And when that happens know what you want and the limits and boundries you want set. And once you do that you'll find this whole thing gets a whole lot easier simply because being rejected for coffee or a movie is somehow less painfull than getting rejected for a random hook up to some people. If you know the risk you are prepared to take in talking to someone, the rewards seems so much less.

Today was the start, you spoke, you joked. You broke the ice, so dont get too down on yourself.

Next time, it will be just a little easier to make even more conversation that just might lead to more if you want it to.
 
I so recognize my teen self here. I could chat up a storm, but just could not spit out the invitation to a date. some advice I got then that has come in handy not just for dating but for anything else that's hard to say over the years - practice the words fifty thousand times in the mirror until they have no meaning to you. for example:

"You wanna catch a flick?" or
"What's your phone number?"

then don't worry about being smooth - just worry about laying the words on your quarry at some point before he slips away. even if you spit them out at an awkward time, if he's into you, he'll be happy to change the subject to arrangements for an upcoming date. and if he's not, who cares whether he thinks you're cool.
 
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