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So confused, need help

RicanDAB

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You are 20 years younger than me, and that being said I can look back and see how much I have changed since then. It took me a while to find my own happiness and I suspect it will for you too. For many of us it does not happen overnight. A miniscule number actually are lucky enough however to have it happen that way.

At your age to be honest, your hormones will react before your heart so it will be difficult to look beyond the superficial and date and pick men based on looks alone or mostly on looks. That is not entirely your fault. But as you get older you will begin to realize there are more important things than just a handsome face.

Dude, you have the whole world ahead of you ... don't worry about finding THE ONE right now and just enjoy the possibilities. You will eventually find each other and believe me you will be grateful for all the guys you met before him because in a way they all will contribute to help you be the guy that your future Mr. Right will fall in love with. I am not also saying it will happen in your 30s like me - it could happen sooner or later - we never know - just don't rush it.

By the way, my man has it all - at least in my eyes and that is all that matters - so, in essence you can have both.
 
We all have standards.

If you don't want to date a guy because he's not gorgeous, or because his dick isn't eight inches, or he doesn't make 100K, or he doesn't own every Mariah Carey album, that's totally your call.

But something to ponder. If I had a "type", I'd say it'd be taller guys, muscular guys, longish hair. My partner is short, roundish, and balding. What happened? Did I "settle"? Did I think, "Well, no hot guy will ever want me, so I may as well go for this one"? Not at all. Something much better happened - I fell in love. And because I'm in love, despite my predeliction for tall muscular long-haired guys, nobody is hotter in my eyes than my partner. He may not be attractive, in the generic sense, but I'm totally attracted to him.

But I never would've met him had I chosen to only pursue relationships with tall, muscular, long-haired guys. I'm really happy I didn't. :)

Lex
 
Yes, you can have it all.

But what a silly way to approach life if you think that you just need to wait for Mr. Right to come along. Think of all the good friends you'll never meet and the fun you'll never have.

I believe that for many young guys, the romantic thing is a perfect excuse to avoid actually living, the possibility of rejection and heartbreak. Jump in. With both feet.

At the end of the day though, looks will fade and you'll want someone to comfortably grow old with.
 
Falling in love is easy.

Staying in love- well, not so easy.

You might want to give some thought to your priorities and the importance of superficial things like how people look. You won't always look 18. And neither will the person you fall in love with.

In the end it doesn't matter as much that you love the other person. It matters more that they love you.
 
I don't think you're shallow at all. I think you're honest. That being said. Everyone has their standards. If you happen to get a guy that looks like a god and treats you good then so be it...if not you're going to have a lot of cold lonely nights.

I'm not saying throw your standards out the window...sometimes you have to compromise.

Plus you will find as you mature that looks are indeed not everything.
 
The person that sweeps you off your feet and keeps you happy will be the one you've been looking for. This person will help in breaking those thinking habits, because looks and types don't mean a thing. 6 billion people on this planet, we're all different, go out there and see! :)
 
Yes you can really have it all - falling in love with a person whom you find attractive and all... it's not that intangible. But then.. like what some said earlier this post.. even when you find the person.. maintaining it is one hell of a thing.. So keep the faith up!
 
We all have standards.

If you don't want to date a guy because he's not gorgeous, or because his dick isn't eight inches, or he doesn't make 100K, or he doesn't own every Mariah Carey album, that's totally your call.

But something to ponder. If I had a "type", I'd say it'd be taller guys, muscular guys, longish hair. My partner is short, roundish, and balding. What happened? Did I "settle"? Did I think, "Well, no hot guy will ever want me, so I may as well go for this one"? Not at all. Something much better happened - I fell in love. And because I'm in love, despite my predeliction for tall muscular long-haired guys, nobody is hotter in my eyes than my partner. He may not be attractive, in the generic sense, but I'm totally attracted to him.

But I never would've met him had I chosen to only pursue relationships with tall, muscular, long-haired guys. I'm really happy I didn't. :)

Lex


I love it! (!)
 
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