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So confused

Pushover have you considered learning to drive?

My situation is quite similar to yours but as I am at University I have independence from parents, and they can drive you up the wall at the best of times. If it is an option then learning to drive would give you a heck of a lot more independence. I won't lie, if you do have panic attacks it will be more difficult to learn but it can still be done. I am one of the most difficult people to decipher you will ever come across but I was visibly shaking when I had my driving test (it took me 2 attempts) but I believed in myself the second time and did it. My friend who had panic attacks the night before his driving test also passed it after taking some herbal supplements. So it can be done, and that is probably what I would do.
 
Driving was always a big issue with me. I'm not exactly a hippie and all, but I don't really like what cars are doing to the atmosphere and all that, so I wont go into detail. That, and driving itself scares the heck out of me. I know I am eventually going to have to learn, and actually i'd like the independance, but it seems so far away, and so many issues going on right now.
 
Broke my heart, too, lol. I'm not a lovey-dovey type or the kind of person to discuss anything openly, though. I am by no means from a rich family, my father working at the local shipyard and my mother running a small arts & crafts home business, but I see myself more as refined and elegant, but with a habit of getting lost in my thoughts and not coming back to reality for a while.

As to being gay itself, i've accepted it back when I was 17 or 18. I am comfortable with being gay, and not afraid of the aspect of homosexuality (actually i'm a little more curious now that i've looked around the forums). It's the fact that eventually I want to tell people, because I don't want to live my life as something i'm not, but I don't know how to go about it and afraid of the results. Ironic, isn't it?

Judging from the posts i've made I seem to have a habit for autobiography and a tendancy for long-windedness, sorry if I sound self-absorbed. I just don't talk much to anyone. :?
 
Yeah, I had thought of just sitting them down and blurting it out when they got home and getting it over with. But, I think i'd like to plan it out first and confront my mother first, though before or after seeing a therapist, I don't know. Honestly, i'm beginning to feel a little skeptical by the thought of seeing a therapist, as they'd probably think it's just some sort of psychological disorder.

It's good they've been gone for a few days, I don't know what i'd do if I had this breakdown while they were here.

I guess I'm free to talk to anyone on an IM or something. I don't think i'll be getting much sleep. PM me if interested I guess.
 
Hey Pushover,

Although I don't have any advice that differs from what you've already been given, I wanted to thank you for sharing that vid from your original post with us. I know that it wasn't the intention of your post, but I just finished watching it for like the third time and I thought it was a really sweet vignette.

j
 
Yeah, it still brings me near to tears when I watch it, and I feel like I have to watch it again. It's just such a nice message, made in funny, non-serious way. I just love his facial expressions, especially when he's bottoming with that muscle guy, and it just made me cry when everyone was laughing and pointing fingers at him when he was a kid with the doll.
 
UPDATE


My parents came home this afternoon, so i'm just acting casual. I decided not to try to go to a therapist, since I have this feeling they'll just try to 'cure' me, and I don't really need that kind of BS. So, i've decided to tell my mother; when they time is right, of course.

It was kind of funny, because my mother was telling me what all happened on their recent trip, about my great aunt - we call her the 'mouth of the south' - got into an arguement with so-and-so, and all that. So, we naturally started talking and she thinks i've been doing some thinking.

Then she asked me if anything eventful happened here, and I told her with a sly look, jokingly, "don't ask don't tell." We laughed it off as the joke that it was, but i've been slowly putting out really subtle clues. Things like being more self-conscious about my looks, wanting to start learning to drive, etc, etc. It looks like she genuinely thinks i've just come out of my hermit shell and wanting to become more independant.

I guess I want to do this slowly, and work my way up to telling her over the course of the next couple weeks. I already feel a self-confidence boost.:D
 
Sounds good. Take it slow, do it your own way.

Keep us posted! :D
 
Great work!!!! Bloody terrrific!!!

I'm glad that you made that decision...and I'm glad that you're starting to let yourself shine...and feel good about it. One brick at a time...that how they knocked down the Berlin wall....mate you have started!!!!

Its awesome!!!

Keep us in the loop mate!!! A pushover no more!!!
 
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