Hi again.
I understand perfectly what you are saying, and I wont say that what I am doing right now isnt wrong. I know that its not the best thing to do, and I assume it. I know what I said before was explained very briefly and was kindly rough.
Now let me explain it in a proper way:
What I wanted to say is that, I only feel physical attraction right now, compared to the HUGE emotional attraction that i had toward him. That doesnt mean I dont feel ANYTHING at all. Now I consider him more like a very good friend. And he knows my feelings too cause we talk alot about whats going on between us. Its not like im being a jerk and telling him how I love him etc, not at all. I cant say to someone that Im not in love with that I love him etc. In my situation it might be strange to say that, but I cant lie to someone about what i feel. To me, its important that things must be clear between us. Now, about ending their relation? I don't think Im the only reason why their relationship isnt going well. Of course, Im not HELPING it, but is it that bad? He talk alot about his relation, when it goes well, when it doesnt. But hes telling me that he is starting to be very tired of this situation since its not doing very well at all these couple weeks. And at a certain point,don't you think a relationship must be finished, cause its causing more damage than anything else. They tryed in the past to fix it, it barely worked. And now, theres a huge difference between what he wants and what the other want.
Theres an other thing that I wont tell here cause its too personal but they have very different personal and professional lifestyles now, and its really starting to break what they tryed to fix. In this situation, im aware that im not helping it, but im not THE only source of problems. And I do feel bad for the other guy, Iv already been in HIS situation...
Its easy to judge, I know Im the bad guy, the slut, the one that will RUIN their relationship, the monster, the horrible thing... When I think about it, I realize that its not that easy, that im not doing this cause I LIKE TO HURT other people, which is exactly what i really dont want to do since ill be a nurse in less than a year, but its really complicated and I realized that every situation is unique. Im learning alot from this, since iv been on both side.
Insulting me, my intelligence and my morality? Well, I guess you can do it since I didnt come explain exactly every second of how i felt about this from the begining, coming only to say some update when important things were going on, very briefly and Im the one that decided to write my problem here. I probly tought by reading all of your messages that I would stop seeing him and end it way before, but I couldnt.
so much for self-respect...
