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So he's going to try it again with his ex...

Update: He broke up with his old b/f three weeks ago.

He sent me an email a week ago asking how things were going with me. I replied. I got his reply back two days ago...rather lengthy.

I'd like to give things a try with him. I really like him, and still do. How long should I wait to ensure I don't have to be the rebound guy?
 
That's a tough question. There's no hard and fast rule. I think the best thing you could do is have a long conversation. Probe him about his ex and see how open he is. Watch his body language to see if it's consistent with what he says. Find out who initiated the break up. That often determines how long it takes for someone to move on. Three weeks doesn't sound like much time, so I would be careful.
 
Ditto vet. Why not go somewhere for dinner, chat a bit, feel him out? Promise yourself you won't go home with him that night, but take that night to see how he's acting in your presence.

Lex
 
Thanks for the advice guys. I do feel like we should get together in the near term just to feel things out, to see if the 'spark' still exists.

FYI: His b/f broke up with him. That might make things take longer I suppose.
 
I totally agree with what you're saying. I had experienced that once in the past. it never, never works out.
 
So we're going to go out sometime, as "friends". What am I looking for in him? It's just that I have no experience on which to go on. What things should I ask or stay away from?
 
I'd avoid talking about "us". No, not you and ME, but you and him. "Are we gonna happen?" Things like that. Just try to feel him out a bit. Go out, try to have fun, try to have a good time, see what happens.

Lex
 
Talk about shared interests. Talk about philosphy, art, literature, sports and the weather.
 
<So what are the chances that these two get back together for a time, then split up again?>

I don't know them but I'd guess fairly high in the long term.
Sorry about the bad day. Hopefully you will have one coming up where everything goes right the same day.
 
If it didn't work out with his ex the first time, most likely the second time won't last either. Just be a friend to him for now, control your feelings, and wait. In the meanwhile, feel lucky you didn't get too attached to the guy.
 
I just got back from going out as "friends." We didn't discuss "us" at all. He was quite upbeat out things, so that was good. It seems as though (as far as I can tell) he's over his ex. I'd forgotten how gorgeous he is.

So now I'd like to go on a date with him. I'll probably call him tomorrow or Monday.

Thanks for all your help guys. Especially you, G-Lex.
 
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