So how do you know...

[hotandwet]

I met this guy a couple weeks ago and we've been goin out a lot lately. He's really secure with his sexuality and i'm really insecure about it. But anyways we were talking and I told him I've never done anything with a guy before. So he asked me how do i know if i'm gay if i've never done anything with a guy... he said that he doesn't understand how I can say I'm gay and start coming out if I've never done anything with a guy to know for sure that I'm gay. He said there's a chance that I might not be gay. It was pretty interesting b/c I've never really thought about it... I know I'm gay and I don't need to have sex to confirm that, and I know if i have sex right now, while I'm not fullly comfortable with myself I'll just regret it and it won't feel good.

So I just wanted to know what everyone on here thinks about this and if you're in the same boat as me (a virgin), can answer the question, "How do you know you're gay if you've never had sex with a guy?"

 

[pausanias_usa]

You know because a) females don't attract you, and b) your whole being wants another man emotionally. Note I said "emotionally," not physically. There's the key.

 

[Jonny_Longhair]

You jack off to gay porn, at least sometimes, and you think about men. That's pretty much it, you don't have to have sex with anyone to be gay. I think sex can be a strong confirmation of your sexuality, and I think it is healthy.

You're doing well with this one yourself, trust your feelings.

 

[Rand]

I agree with the comments above - - don't be pressured into doing something for the wrong reasons. Take your time, don't allow another to rush you. Be happy with who you are and who you are with.

take care - celebrate your life!

 

[hotandwet]

You jack off to gay porn, at least sometimes, and you think about men. That's pretty much it, you don't have to have sex with anyone to be gay. I think sex can be a strong confirmation of your sexuality, and I think it is healthy.

You're doing well with this one yourself, trust your feelings.

He said that just b/c you think a guy is hot or if you look at gay porn it isn't the same as having sex with a guy, and it still doesn't mean your gay. I dunno I was pretty pissed after I thought about the whole situation... It kinda made me think that he just wanted me to give in to what he was saying so that I would have sex with him...

 

[Eyghon]

I don't understand how people can really ask that question. Does a straight man have to have sex with a woman to know that he's straight?

The emotional thing is irrelevant to me. I want to have sex with men. I don't want to have sex with women. That is how I know I'm gay. If you're sexually attracted to men and women, you're bisexual as far as I'm concerned, even if you want to pursue a relationship with only one gender or the other. But as soon as you attach the label "bisexual" or "gay" to anything, someone who is curious is more likely to deny their feelings, so however someone defines it is doesn't concern me. They're just words.

But I digress. I think sexual orientation is simple for a guy to figure out. If it gets you hard, that's the way your oriented.

 

[sibersan]

I knew i was gay cuz i was attracted to males. I can think find females cute or hot, but they can stand in front of me naked and i would most likly say "um.......can u put clothes on please?"

 

[backpacker]

Sounds like the guy is just trying to get you in bed. You know what you are and you don't need to sleep with a guy to confirm it.

 

[josher]

Well, it's just barely possible he believes that.

But really, I think he just wants to sleep with you.

Whether you want to sleep with him is up to you.

 

[tonyboy]

He said that just b/c you think a guy is hot or if you look at gay porn it isn't the same as having sex with a guy, and it still doesn't mean your gay. I dunno I was pretty pissed after I thought about the whole situation... It kinda made me think that he just wanted me to give in to what he was saying so that I would have sex with him...

I think you are right about that ^. Sounds to me as if he is trying to have sex with you. And if you want to do it, and if you don't then don't. Simple as that.
If he is a true friend he'd accept you declining sex with him and be happy to just be a good buddy. But don't hold your breath on that scenario man. I may be wrong of course.

But don't be too hard on your buddy. I imagine he finds you pretty attractive. That is a compliment to you I think. You need to decide if you want to have him as a friend, or maybe experiment with him.

I think you've got a good head on your shoulders man. Seems to me you are pretty solid and don't just jump into bed because you're a horny guy.

So whether or not your buddy is just trying to get in to bed with you it seems he has pretty good judgment in picking his firends. Sounds to me like he's found an attractive guy with a good brain and some common sense.

Hope it works out to your satisfaction friend.

 

[G-Lexington]

"Because guys turn me on, and girls don't."

End of discussion.

Lex

 

[M4P]

This is going to sound simplistic but I just knew

The same as my straight friends just knew (they were straight)

 

[rareboy]

Once again, gay is about more than where you happen to be sticking your dick at the moment. It is about what arouses you even when you're just imagining. It is about how you see and live in the world.

Why not ask him if he wants to fuck you so that you can tell for sure.

 

[willsp18]

I'm with Rareboy, ask him if he wants have sex with you and then you'll see his intentions. I think you have a pretty good mindset. You know what you are, and you shouldn't have to explain it. I'm kinda in the same boat as you, when i came out to my friends that i was bi, they all thought i wasn't serious because i was (am) a virgin. Being a virgin has nothing to do with it. I know what i like sexually and emotionally, and that just so happens to be men and women. Good Luck with that guy